SPLIT SOULS
by 2Q2BSTR8
Summary: BT AU taking place from season 4. Angel is gone and the whole putting Faith in a comma never happened. Oz and Willow are a couple. An old face comes to help and stirs up surpressed feelings within our slayer. BT goodness.
1. old faces

**SPLIT SOULS**

Buffy awoke to the sound of her alarm roaring to life, then instantly hit snooze. It wasn't her fault the sun wanted to rise so early was it? No. And it was with that comforting thought that she began easily leading herself back into the land of sleeping slayers.

"BUFFY!" someone shouted into her room.

"Aghh…what?" she groaned trying to wrap the pillow around her head.

"That's the third time I've called for you." Joyce chided. "Didn't you say you had to meet up with Mr. Giles early today?" Or was I just imagining your insistence this past week?" Buffy groaned pulling the pillow tighter around her head.

"What time is it?" she questioned knowing her mother was still standing in her doorway.

"It's after six."

"Great." She mumbled. Fifteen whole minutes to get over to the magic box. But at least it was early enough to where perhaps not too many people would witness her in all her morning glory. Groaning she pulled herself out of bed and stretched her mussels. "Could you maybe make me some coffee before I head out?"

"It's in the craft," Buffy nodded her thanks. "Long night?" Her daughter looked at her tiredly.

"The longest." Joyce laughed at this.

"Oh come on it was only studying? How bad could it be?"

"Yeah well you try studying after a whole night of playing body guard for the world and let's see how you fare." She mumbled rubbing at her eyes.

"Okay you win, go ahead and get ready."

A few minutes later after changing into a pair of jeans and white sweater she headed down stairs to join her mom.

"Here you go, black and two sugars as ordered." Buffy took the coffee gratefully taking a few sips trying to wake up. "So how was patrol last night? The world still safe and unharmed?"

"Yep as always."

"And my baby girl?" Joyce questioned a little more seriously noticing the slight bruising under her daughter's left eye. Buffy reached a hand up to her eye and winced at the slight swelling.

"A little worse for wear but altogether pretty good, just really tired. I came across some slug demon last night and let me just say eeewww. Part of the reason patrol took so long last night was because I didn't want to go anywhere near the damn thing. But no worries."

"Oh I'm always going to worry Buffy" she caught her daughter's expression darkening and quickly added "and it's not just because you're the slayer, it's simply because I'm a mom." Buffy smiled relieved in the fact that her and her mom finally had an open relationship; she hated hiding things from her. "And besides I know you can handle yourself and if not that's what I'm here for." She raised a brow at her mom.

"Yeah if I recall you were pretty scary in your skillet wielding days." She grinned remembering how her mom had knocked spike out cold with the frying pan last year.

"Oh sweaty you haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until I whip out the Tupperware now that's scary."

"Wow! Now, don't go scarring all the little future dust bunnies away now, I'll be out of a job, not that I get paid, but still." She glanced at the clock. "HEY!!!" she screwed up her nose seeing that it wasn't even six yet. She still technically had over a half an hour to get ready "That's just mean."

"Well I figured if I woke you up early you'd actually have time to wake up, plus I'm starved for company."

"You're twisted mind still manages to astound me." Buffy mumbled actually thankful to be up on time to get ready. "Thanks."

"No problem dear. Now why don't you do yourself a favor and go brush your hair."

"Ha-ha very funny." Joyce shook her head as she watched Buffy retreat into the bathroom. Then began to laugh knowing Buffy just got a glimpse of what she almost went out looking like.

"Okay I'm here." Buffy said entering the Magic Box and looking around. Not seeing anyone besides Anya at the register she headed into the back room thinking maybe Giles was getting things set up for some extra training. She stuck her head in. "Hey isn't there going to be anyone around to witness my once in a lifetime punctuality?" she looked around the empty room. "Huh? Curios, mats but no tweed." She glanced over at the ex vengeance demon who was just coming up from the basement, "Hey Anya, have you seen Giles?"

"Oh yes. He said that seeing that you would probably be late he was going to go ahead and finish picking up the last shipment we ordered and get it out of the way and if you happened to show up before he had gotten back than to just sit tight because he'll probably need your help unloading the order. Actually here he left you a note incase you showed up. Not that I read it or anything." Buffy just rolled her eyes and glanced at the note Anya had handed to her, knowing it would only repeat what she already knew. She read over the note briefly.

"Thanks." Anya had obviously read the note. Not that she was surprised.

"Hey Buffy are you going to be here until Giles gets back?" Anya asked looking at the register hesitantly."

"Yeah probably, why?"

"Well I know you're sale skills are probably little to none." She saw the slayers face drop. "But hey you're great at kicking things right?" She picked up an envelope and put it in her purse. "Anyway I need to take this check to the bank and since it's so early it's not very likely that there'll be any costumers wanting to spend there hard earned cash so I figured it would be okay if I left you to guard the register."

"Umm." She didn't know if she should feel insulted or not.

"Oh don't worry, I know watching the register is a very time consuming, tedious job, I mean it can even be scary. All that money and even more greedy people wanting to steel it." She smiled encouragingly at the slayer. But I'm sure you can handle it for about fifteen minutes."

"Sure…I think?"

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other. I'll be back shortly." And with that Anya headed out the door.

It was official; she would never understand that woman. EVER. Sighing she sat herself down behind the counter and pulled out her Calculus book hoping to maybe get some last minute studying in before the exam tomorrow, knowing she wouldn't be able to pull off an all nighter again. Though she really didn't see the point, considering she couldn't get past the second part of the review, not to mention understand the first.

"Not like I'll ever need it" she thought. "It's not likely that I'll even live through college, let alone have a career besides slaying." She sighed setting her head in her hands and focused on the problem in front of her.

A bell rang over the shop door; she assumed it was eighther Anya or Giles. But when she happened to glance up she was met with a pair of nervous blue eyes. A warm prickle ticked up her spine as they made eye contact. The girl before her gasped audibly than fumbled over her words "Um i-is there a M-Mr. Giles here?" Buffy was caught off guard by the girls affect on her but quickly recovered and offered her a smile, not really sure why her body had reacted that way, but deciding to ignore it for now.

"Yeah he should actually be getting back fairly soon, by the way I'm…"

"B-Buffy." The girl offered stuttering slightly then smiled holding Buffy's gaze captive.

"Uh yeah…" Buffy looked at the blonde puzzled, "should I be worried?" she meant it as sarcasms figuring that perhaps they had met and she had just forgotten but the blonde before her actually seemed to crumble in on herself.

"Y-you don't remember?" The girl's smile faltered obviously disappointed. Buffy looked at her again thoughtfully. Taking in the girl as a whole. Tall maybe a few inches taller than herself. Long blonde hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen. The intensity held her transfixed, she couldn't look away. When she realized she was staring she shook her head and frowned. The girl didn't seem particularly familiar but there was an air of resemblance, of something. If the warm tingle she was still feeling was any indication. "I-I'm sorry i-it's j-just...I." The blonde was stuttering terribly and blushed deeply dipping her head to hide behind her hair. When Buffy didn't say anything too struck by the familiarity of the move the girl turned to leave. Without thinking Buffy reacted reaching over the counter to stop her, grabbing her hand. The contact sent a jolt through the both of them.

"Wait." Buffy whispered trying to gather her thoughts, but they kept wondering back to the warmth and comfort she felt passing through her from the girl's hand, she searched her mind for a name but found none. Instead she was confronted by the memory of finding a girl, slowly being beaten to a bloody pulp back when she still went to Hemry. In a field close to where she did her patrols in one of L.A.'s cemetery's.

_It had been late probably after two or three in the morning, her parents had gone out on a romantic weekend hoping to find what was missing in their relationship and weren't expected till late the next day. Merrick had insisted she lengthen her patrols during this time. _

_She had just been doing her last sweep of the night when she heard a scream coming from a nearby field. Without a second thought she followed the commotion expecting the usual but what she saw turned her stomach. A girl lay sprawled on the ground a group of three slowly taking turns at cheap shots to her gut. The girl looked up coughing up a mouthful of blood, pleading them to stop._

_Even if they had heard her they didn't seem to notice. That's when a pair of terror filled eyes met Buffy's. She had just come into view of the others, and to her shock they weren't vampires at all but human. The rage at seeing this girl so broken at the hands of people she risked her life everyday to protect set her on a carnal attack. She reached for the largest of the three and pulled him off the ground by his collar, she could smell the liquor on his breath and snarled. Behind her the girl was gargling something that sounded like a warning from the ground. Buffy turned in time to see a baseball bat coming at her head. Without thinking she threw the man she was holding a good twenty feet and dodged the attack catching the bat mid swing, throwing her attacker off guard. _

_He looked at her in shock then fear his hands beginning to shake as he loosely held the bat. "Please don't…" he croaked out as she grinned. After freeing the bat from his hands she quickly sent him to the ground, with a hard crack to the ribs, followed by a knee to the groin._

"_Now" she snarled to the youngest of the three who was trying to back away unnotice with a voice she herself hardly recognized. "As for you, get them out of here." The boy stared at her frozen. "NOW!!" snapping out of it he rushed over to the man she had thrown off in the field. Ignoring the body of the other who was still gasping on his knees and seeing no other threat she turned her attention back to the girl who was trying feebly to get up and failing miserably. When she saw Buffy making her way towards her she doubled her efforts whimpering in pain. "I'm not gonna hurt you." Buffy coaxed trying to erase the anger from her voice, even though her body was shaking with rage. Then she realized she was still holding the bat in her hand and that it was beginning to crack from her strained grip. She quickly loosened her hold, but the girl had seen_

"_W-What a-are y-y-you?" the girl choked out, still trying to back away from her. A growl could be heard in the distance. Buffy looked up catching movement heading their way, and groaned. She had been hoping to get the girl out of here before they had attracted too much attention. She checked behind her and watched as the three men left in an old pickup truck. She realized sadly that had they hung around she would of let the vampires have them and wouldn't have been phased. Probably would have been doing the world a favor. She looked back over at the girl and realized that they still needed to get out of there._

"_Look I'm not going to hurt you…" the growls were growing louder "But right now we need to get out of here and the sooner the better is so looking to be a positive option." The girl stared at Buffy for a long moment studying her, a perplexed look occasionally crossing her face. Finally she shook her head as if puzzled than looked at Buffy as if something didn't fit._

"_W-what are y-you?" she asked again almost in wonderment suddenly no longer fearful._

"_Very, very hungry" Both blondes turned their heads to look into a pair of golden eyes. The girl before Buffy gasped than was once again trying to get up._

"_Just stay down," she whispered to the girl not wanting her to hurt herself, than stood to intercept the vampire as he charged, making sure to keep the split bat from view. _

"_Really me too!" she addressed the vampire, "But if it wasn't for you I could be at home eating a nice yogurt right about now, but no, you guys have to ruin everything." She roundhoused the side of his head sending him to the ground._

"_I'm going to gut you girl." He snarled jumping up and swinging at her head. _

"_Actually" she joked side stepping his attacks "I changed my mind; I could really go for a stake I mean hey I'm a growing girl." _

"_Wh-" the vampire looked down at the bat protruding from his chest in shock than turned to dust._

"_Gotta love the protein." she smiled at her own little pun, as corny as it was then turned to find the girl just staring at her. "Um…" At that point the girl fainted. Sighing Buffy reached for the sleeping girl, glad she didn't have to explain herself right at that very moment and being careful not to jostle her too much quickly made her way home._

_When she got to her house she set the still sleeping girl on the couch and quickly checked for any broken bones and after only finding one of her lower ribs cracked she sighed in relief. It wasn't bad enough to take her to the hospital so she figured it would be best to just wrap them and let her sleep for now. She had had a rough night and needed to rest, the girl could decide what she wanted to do about her attackers in the mourning._

_After getting the first aid kit from her room and returning, the girl was starting to come to. "How do you feel?" She asked wincing herself as she saw the girl grab her side. She knew what it felt like to break a rib, she had broken a few herself in the past. "Can I get you something?" the girl looked at her confused than realization dawned on her._

"_Uh could I-I maybe have some W-Water or s-something?"_

"_Yeah I'll be right back." Buffy got up and headed to the kitchen getting a glass to fill with water along with a few aspirins figuring it would probably help her sleep. She filled the glass then returned to the living room handing the girl both the water and the aspirins._

"_T-thank you." She said before downing half the water and taking the aspirins. When she had finished she looked at Buffy confused. "H-how did I g-get here?" She paused then added, remembering the girl's obvious strength. "T-That was s-stupid w-wasn't i-t?" when Buffy didn't say anything she quickly looked down at her hands allowing her hair to fall around her face. "H-how d-did…" she tapered off then started again. "W-What did you d-do to them?"_

"_Mostly just scarred them off but hopefully gave them something to think about as well." The girl nodded her understanding still keeping her head down. "Did you know them?"_

"_Y-yes." The girl whispered tensing. Buffy wasn't quite sure if she should pry, she didn't want the girl to close up._

"_Did you want to call the police or-?"_

"_No." for the first time the girl hadn't stuttered, Buffy took that as a sign to just leave it alone._

"_Um I already checked to see if you had broken anything, and I don't think you have but you do have at least a fractured rib or two, it's really not worth going to the hospital though unless you feel you should." The girl nodded again not saying anything. "If you want to go home…" Buffy didn't miss how the girl's body went rigid at the mention of going home. "You don't want to go home do you?"_

"_N-no not r-right n-now." She looked at Buffy nervously. "I-I don't want to t-t…" she trailed off again allowing her hair to hide her face. Buffy reached over pushing the girl's hair back behind her ear causing the girl to look up at her. Striking blue eyes met her own. Now that she could see the girls face she admitted to herself that even despite the bruises the girl was quite attractive. This thought kind of shocked the slayer though. She had never looked at another woman in any more than a friendly type of way, and a girl who she had just met let alone the fact that she was horny from slaying wasn't the place to start playing analyzer. Putting her knew conflicting thoughts to the side she focused on the topic at hand._

"_Well you're welcome to stay here if you want." Buffy offered holding her gaze. _

"_T-thank you." The girl said looking down finally breaking eye contact with the slayer and ran a finger over her swollen lip._

"_Okay well if your going to stay why don't we get you cleaned up and I'll give you a change of cloths and then maybe we can wrap your ribs okay?" When the girl nodded she reached behind her producing the first aid kit and pulled out some antiseptic and a clean rag to wash some of the small cuts on the girl's arms and face with. After pouring some of the alcohol on the rag she began to gently rub at the girls arms not wanting to hurt her. When she had finished with the girl's arms she moved to her face. Seeing that her split lip was the worst of it she went for it first. "This may sting." She whispered, leaning in dabbing lightly on and around the wound._

"_I-I don't e-even know y-your name." the girl mumbled tears coming to her eyes at how gentle Buffy was being._

"_Buffy." She supplied moving up to another cut beside her eyebrow when the pouty lips were becoming too distracting. When she noticed the tears coming to the girls eyes she pulled back. "What's wrong? We can use water if it stings too much…"thinking that perhaps it was she was just about to head back to the kitchen when the girl grabbed her hand stopping her._

"_N-no it's o-okay. R-really." She took a deep breath. "I-It's just been a r-really long night is all." She looked down at the hand she was still holding and quickly released it. "S-sorry." Buffy frowned at the loss of contact but quickly tried to hide it. _

"_It's okay. How about I finish with this and if you want I'll give you a shirt to wear that'll be easier to sleep in?" She indicated the dirty blood stiffened shirt the girl had on._

"_P-please?"_

"_Not a problem." Buffy sat back down returning to the minor cuts on the girls face before noticing the ones on her hands and knuckles. "Here." Buffy reached for the girl's hands and began cleaning them while being mindful of the bruises beginning to show, trying to cause her as little pain as possible. But that wasn't all she was being mindful of, as she continued to methodically clean the girl's hands she began to notice the warmth radiating through her at their point of contact and also the way her heart was seeming to pick up on its own accord. Once again pushing those thoughts aside she focused on finishing what she had started and not ogling the girl in front of her. _

_When she had finished she put the antiseptic away and retrieved a few wraps from the box and set them on the table. "I'm going to go and get you a T-shirt I'll be back in a minute." She got up and went to her room taking the first aid kit with her and put it away. Quickly she pulled out one of her larger shirts from the closet, one that had a Tweety bird on it and headed back down thankful that she had gotten a moment to get her pulse under control. "Here." She said handing the shirt to the girl. "You'll only need to hold the shirt about halfway up in order for me to wrap your ribs. So if you want to change first I can just wrap your ribs when you're done."_

"_T-thank you." She looked down at the shirt and grinned. Buffy's breath caught at how beautiful she looked when she smiled. "C-cute." She looked at Buffy her eyes twinkling. "I-I used to l-love t-tweety bird growing up."_

"_Me too."_

"_O-obviously." She said point blank giggling causing, Buffy to laugh with her. _

"_I'm just going to let you change and go try to find my dignity which just miraculously disappeared." She joked going into the kitchen to give the girl some privacy, "just yell when you've finished." After a few minutes the girl called saying she needed a little help getting the T-shirt on._

_The button up shirt couldn't have been too difficult to get off but the T-shirt may have posed a problem with her ribs being so sensitive. "Sorry I should have thought of that." Buffy said as she stepped cautiously back into the room. She wasn't sure she could handle seeing the girl in only a bra. But to her relief the girl was just having trouble getting her the last arm through one of the arm holes. Breathing a sigh of relief she made her way over. "Hold on a second." She set her hand on the girls shoulder to get her to stop fidgeting and then pulled the shirt as far as it could stretch so the girl could put her arm through more comfortably, "Okay now just put your arm through." _

"_T-This is e-embarrassing."_

"_Don't worry, Tweety will behave himself from now on." She said helping the shirt over her arm making the other girl laugh "there, now if you can just hold the shirt so it doesn't fall I'll wrap your ribs." Buffy smiled hearing the girl laugh and reached for the ace bandage to wrap around the girls ribs while she held her shirt. Even in the dim light she could see the beginning of some pretty serious bruises forming over almost perfect cream colored skin. "Is this too tight?" she asked when she had finished._

"_N-no it's perfect, t-thank you B-buffy." She smiled at Buffy before looking more serious. "I-I don't know w-why or h-how but…" tears began weling in her eyes again._

"_Shhh." Buffy sat in front of the girl and wiped at the tears falling down her face. "It'll be okay I promise." As the girl continued to cry Buffy eventually sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around her trying to sooth her crying until it subsided. "Shh, I won't let them hurt you anymore." She kept on talking to her whispering soft encouragements until she felt the girl relax._

_After the girls tears had finally subsided Buffy looked down and saw that the girl had fallen asleep obviously exhausted. Carefully she laid the girl down on the couch and lay a blanket over her. "goodnight." She whispered before heading to her own room, thoughts of the shy blonde filling her head._

_The next morning she went downstairs to check on the patient but was stunned to find her gone. She scowered the house but all she found was the girl's bloodstained shirt that she had thrown away before going to sleep the night before. The only evidence proving it hadn't been a dream. When she thought about trying to reach her she realized that she didn't even know the girls name. Deciding that she was probably a student at Hemry she figured she'd eventually run into her at school, but when that didn't happen she didn't know what to think. All she could do was pray that perhaps when she checked the yearbook that came out in another month that maybe she'd find her in there, something anything to go on. She needed to know she was safe._

_Thoughts of the girl who she had saved plagued her for weeks. Then Merrick had died at the hands of a master vampire and everything had been put on hold. Then she had faced off with the master and burned down the school gym which in turn had gotten her expelled. She had looked for the girl a few times after her expulsion but when her parents had finally decided there was nothing left of their marriage to salvage and her mom had decided to move them onto a hell mouth she had eventually forgotten about the whole thing, along with just about everything else that had happened back in L.A. _

Finally realizing where the girl was from caused a smile to form on her face. When she noticed the girl was still hiding behind her hair she reached up and pushed it behind her ear causing the blonde to look at her with curious eyes. "Sorry. I never did get your name." Buffy whispered feeling a warm buzz pass through her at the brief contact. Not believing that the girl that had haunted her dreams for weeks was now standing before her.

Shining blue eyes rose to meet hers and her breath caught. The girl she admitted to herself was still breathtakingly beautiful.

"T-Tara" the girl murmured without breaking eye contact. "S-so you r-remember…"

"Yeah." Buffy breathed squeezing the hand she still held gently "It took me a moment but yeah." She looked at the taller blonde concerned "How come you pulled the disappearing act on me?" she asked just speaking the first thing to come to mind. "Sorry that's none of my business."

"N-No it's o-okay a-after I left-" she was cut off as Anya burst into the store, followed by a blushing Giles.

"Buffy!" Anya yelled running into the store and pulling Buffy out of her trance, "Go find orgasm buddies elsewhere, this is a business. Try to be professional will you!" Giles just groaned whipping his glasses off, cleaning them against his shirt.

"Anya please." He begged. Buffy looked down and realized she was still holding Tara's hand and quickly dropped it wanting to smack herself in the head for being so stupid.

"She didn't scare you off did she?" Anya asked addressing Tara who was blushing terribly now and looking at the floor. "Giles do something we might lose her." Anya stage whispered to Giles, the thought of loosing out on a sale making her fearful.

"Anya if anyone has scared the poor girl off I would have to say it would be you." Giles commented returning his glasses to his face.

"Buffy do you think you could unload this order, it's rather heavy and I don't think my conscious would let me leave this girl alone with Anya." Buffy smiled at Giles attempt at humor.

"Actually I think Tara was looking for you." He looked at the taller blonde and smiled.

"Yes dear what can I do for you?"

"P-perhaps we c-could speak in private?" she asked glancing nervously at Buffy and Anya. Seeing Giles raised brow she quickly added. "Lucinda sent me." The older man's eyes lit up.

"Ah yes Tara, I'm sorry Lucinda had told me your flight wouldn't get in until later this afternoon." He reached over to shake the girl's hand. "It's good to see you, I trust you had a decent trip?" he questioned.

"Y-yes it w-was fine thank you." She glanced at Buffy who was looking at the two of them confused. Giles caught the girl's line of vision and remembered that he still hadn't had a chance to inform Buffy of the girl's arrival.

"Ah yes," he released Tara's hand and looked at Buffy "This is Tara Maclay…an old friend of mine suggested that she may be of some help to us concerning the hellmouth and its recent activity." Buffy nodded for him to go on. "She has been recommended and highly advised by many of her predecessors to come here where she might be able to make use of her powers." That last sentence caught Buffy's attention.

"Powers?" Buffy questioned looking at the girl before her and remembering how they had met. "She's not another slayer is she…Because unless I died and simply don't remember…Oh god Faith! Did Faith die?" she questioned getting antsy thinking of something happening to her sister slayer who had been placed on a smaller hellmouth in Cleveland. Tara turned shocked eyes on Buffy when she had mentioned the word slayer, then something seemed to dawn on her.

"S-so that's w-why?" Tara said more to herself, but Buffy caught it and taking it the wrong way began to pace which caused Tara to stare at her in surprise.

"Buffy calm down please." Giles attempted levity on the girl. "Not quite sure what had gotten in to her.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?!! Giles, how did it happen?" Buffy paused for moment thinking. "No never mind I don't want details?" Buffy rubbed her face then looked up sharply. "Wait I take it back yes I do! How? When? And more importantly why wasn't I told?" She ran her hands through her hair roughly then whispered to herself. "I knew we shouldn't have left her there to fend for herself…I just wish-"

"BUFFY!" Giles yelled over the slayers ranting finally catching onto what Buffy was getting at. Buffy looked at him sadness written across her features. "Nobody died." He said more calmly after having gotten the slayers attention. The look of relief flooding her face eventually turned to one of embracement, than aggravation.

"What were trying to do? Give me a heart attack?" she looked at a giggling Tara than back at Giles. "I can't believe I just went on like that." She said blushing then turning an icy look on Giles. "I can't believe you just let me go on like that."

"I actually thought it was quite funny watching you make an idiot of yourself in front of the new girl." Anya offered indicating Tara. Buffy groaned.

"Thank you Anya." Buffy said tightly, Anya quickly becoming one of her least favorite people at the moment.

"Sorry but I was only stating the obvious." The ex vengeance demon said trying to defend herself ducking behind the counter.

"Quite." Giles added to himself then quickly shut his mouth and tried a different approach catching the slayers glare. "Perhaps we should get back on topic?" Giles offered.

"Go on." Buffy growled still not happy with how they all seemed to be ganging up her.

"Anyway as I was saying Tara is a very powerful-" Anya piped up enthusiastically.

"Witch."

"Sorceress." Giles corrected. Buffy cast a surprised look at Anya then looked at Giles questioningly.

"There's a difference?" To her knowledge they were one of the same. Potato, Patoto she thought.

"Yes there is and quite. Had you read the handbook you would have known." Giles reprimanded still annoyed at Buffy's refusal to do so.

"Hey I read some of it." Buffy shot back at her watcher.

"Despite common belief the cover does not count." Giles countered making Buffy blush.

"M-Maybe I should explain." Tara offered trying to ease the tension. Buffy looked at Tara to go on "A-A witch is taught or l-learns on her own time…" "Tara tried to explain. "W-While a sorceress is s-someone w-who is taught from the time she is born the magic already existing in her b-blood." She smiled at Buffy who still didn't seem to quite understand the difference. "A sorceress is m-more powerful b-because the magic in her b-blood holds the power of her a-ancestors and is passed down to her." She grinned as Buffy returned her smile in understanding then watched as the slayer frowned thinking about the night all those years ago.

"So how come…?" Buffy caught herself mid sentence catching a nervous look from Tara. "…You've decided to join us in SunnyHell?" Buffy said quickly "I mean sure the weathers nice, but really that's about it." She joked hoping no one noticed her falter. Tara nodded her appreciation at Buffy's diversion from her original question.

"L-Lucinda the head of the coven I was a p-part of suggested I offer my services here since there w-wasn't much more she thought the c-coven could offer me in t-terms of expanding my abilities." She looked at the slayer slyly. "P-plus r-rumor about a girl called the s-slayer caught my interest." She gave Buffy a knowing look which caused the Slayer to flash her a brilliant smile. The thought of being one of the reasons Tara had decided to come to Sunnydale making her stomach flutter.

"Really?" Buffy asked still smiling Tara nodded.

"Tara?" Giles asked catching the look passing between the two girls. "Have you met Buffy before?"

"Y-yes…" Tara stammered being caught off guard. Buffy saw the quick change in expressions and looked at her watcher surprised he had put that together.

"See I told you they were orga-" Buffy shot Anya a look daring her to continue. "Never mind." Without missing a beat Buffy turned back to Giles.

"We met in L.A. one night when I was on patrol." Tara found her voice.

"I-I w-was out t-too l-late and a vampire a-attacked m-me…Buffy s-saved me." She looked down knowing not likeing lying to the older man, though it wasn't a complete lie. A vampire had attacked them. Giles looked at Tara thoughtfully then back at Buffy who confirmed what Tara had said.

"Yeah she had gotten a little roughed up so I brought her to my house and let her stay the night. The next morning she left before I had a chance to wake up and see her off."

"It w-was actually because of Buffy t-that I began my training. M-My m-mother had taught me some b-but…I never s-started to really take it s-seriously until a-after our meeting" Giles ran the information through his mind seeing it to be rather prophetic, knowing that Tara was now possibly one of the strongest sorceresses he had ever met and also knowing that even she probably had no inclination to the powers that she truly held and for them to be reunited at a time like this and on the Hellmouth?

"I see well perhaps a meeting of fate then?" he offered trying to recall if he had read anything pertaining to this in one of his texts.

"P-Perhaps." Tara agreed loosely, looking back over at Buffy who seemed to be off in her own little world and smiled lovingly at the slayer. "B-Buffy do you thing y-you could show me around later?" she paused then stuttered out "T-that is i-if you w-want to…"

"I'd love to." Buffy piped up eagerly then stopped to think remembering Tara's flight had come in earlier than expected.. "Have you had a chance to get settled in yet or are you going to need to take care of that first?"

"I'm actually g-going to be a student at the college out here." She glanced at where the slayer had left her Calculus book. "Maybe we'll have some of the same c-classes t-together?" then quickly looked down blushing when Buffy flashed a huge smile. "I-I ugh d-dropped my things off there e-earlier…" watching the very obvious adoring interaction between the girls made Giles smile. He hadn't seen Buffy so genuinely happy in months, not since Faith had been deported to Cleveland and Angel finally leaving for L.A.

"Buffy perhaps you could show Tara around while I put away the new shipments it'll take a few hours to tally the accounts?" he watched as Buffy grinned eagerly practically bouncing on her toes.

"Did you still want me to unload the car?"

"No go ahead I'm sure I can manage it on my own." Buffy looked at him questioningly.

"Are you sure?" She pointed towards the car, "It would only take a second?"

"No go on Buffy I may be old but I'm not crippled." Giles added somewhat offended. Buffy turned to look at Tara.

"So would you like to tour the magnificent Hellmouth to which I call home?" Tara giggled at Buffy's pour attempt at an English accent then covered her mouth in attempts to muffle it. "Well I thought it was pretty good?" Buffy added pouting.

"It was." Tara agreed still giggling. "Really." Anya and Giles both snorted causing Buffy to blush.

"Hey!" she narrowed her eyes on the watcher. "I hope you're planning on wearing the body suite today, cuz I'm gonna totally womp on you later." Tara laughed at Giles mock terror already knowing Buffy wouldn't hurt the older man.

"B-Behave." She whispered in Buffy's ear sending a chill down the slayers spine.

"I'd rather not." Buffy whimpered out then realized as she heard Anya try and muffle her laughter with a cough that she had said that out loud. "Maybe we should go?" she suggested blushing hard knowing the ex demon knew exactly what she had meant by that particular comment and not wanting to stick around to hear her voice it. She looked at Tara who just smiled and followed her to the door. "Giles we'll be back in a few hours." She held the door open for the blonde letting her exit first.

"Alright Buffy have fun." Giles said turning to look at Anya who was still laughing. Buffy just groaned and let the door close as she heard a snorted "yeah" come from inside.

(okay first chapter here what do you think?) Feedback is a beautiful thing ya know...hint hint


	2. when I'm blind ur my eyes

Now for those of you who never watched a lot of Buffy you may be at a loss. In Buffy's junior year because her vampire boyfriend (with a soul) turned evil she couldn't bring herself to dispose of him quickly. In result a lot of people died and despite Buffy's seemingly pleasant façade the guilt eats her up…And since I forgot to mention this in the first Chapter I better say it now. I own none of these character their strictly Joss's. I'm just having fun. Okay I'm done now enjoy. TTFN.

(Thank you shadow high angel for being my first reviewer person thingy YOU ROCK!)

(Thank you zigpal also…and begging though not necessary is appreciated. LOL)

CHAPTER TWO:

"So…?" Buffy asked looking at Tara motioning them to start walking towards town, "Anything particular you'd like to see? Do?"

"A-Actually I was hoping…I-I really j-just w-wanted to talk to you…" Tara quickly looked down blushing. "I m-mean it d-doesn't really matter w-whatever y-you want to do is f-fine." Buffy frowned noticing her stutter worsening.

"Okay well how about we compromise." That got Tara to look up at Buffy questioningly.

"Since you obviously know where the campus is and the Magic Box the only two really hot spots left are the Bronze and the Espresso Pump."

"Coffee shop?" Tara questioned referring to the Pump.

"Yup." She nodded towards the shop they were approaching. "The Bronze I can show you another time it's a dud during the day anyway."

"I t-take it that's not a tanning salon then?" She asked grinning crookedly making Buffy laugh.

"Hardly." she opened the door to the Espresso Pump allowing Tara to proceed in front of her. Tara nodded her thanks and approached the small line leading to the counter. "the vampires wouldn't be so keen to visit if it was…then again they are kind of pale…" She looked at Tara thoughtfully. "Can vampires tan…?" Tara shook her head no while laughing loudly causing a few of the patrons to look their way. Buffy smiled as the blonde calmed down some then clarified. "Actually it's a more of a night club, dance club teen thingy."

"S-So that would explain their attraction to the place than I take it." Buffy nodded.

"Yeah but aside from the occasional bloodsucker it's not too bad. The majority of my junior, senior year was spent there." She frowned, instantly missing Willow and Xander who she'd hardly seen since summer had ended and made a mental note to plan a day for them to get together.

"W-What's wrong…b-bad memories…" Tara questioned noting the change in Buffy's demeanor.

"No not really it just reminded me how much I miss Xander and Willow." Tara quirked a brow at that wondering if perhaps Buffy was dating Xander or anyone for that matter. "We've been through so much in the past couple years, and between Willow and her massive schedule this year and Xander getting a job at a construction sight we don't see each other as often as we used to." Tara looked down at the floor trying not to blush.

"A-Are you and X-Xander…t-together?" Buffy turned a pair of incredulous eyes upon the taller blonde and snorted out loud which eventually evolved into a full blown laughter. "W-What's so funny?" Tara asked not sure how to take Buffy's reaction.

"Hardly…no make that a when hell freezes over type thing…I love Xander but he's like my little nerdy brother so no…definitely no." Buffy sighed finally getting her laughter under control. "You'll meet him soon enough and you'll see what I mean…" there conversation was put on hold as they approached the counter.

"Hello ladies and what can I get you?" the young boy behind the counter asked taking a long moment to stare at Tara before raking his eyes over Buffy. Tara stiffened noticing how the teenager was practically ogling the shorter blonde while she scanned the menu.

"Buffy I'm g-going to find a s-seat." She reached in her pocket and pulled out a five not understanding why she was getting so upset over something so innocent. It wasn't like Buffy belonged to her. "Here j-just get me whatever y-you're getting." Buffy looked at Tara then over to the quickly filling tables than back to Tara who was now holding out a five. She just assumed that the blonde had wanted to nab a seat instead of having to stand the whole time. Shaking her head she pushed the blonde's hand gently back towards her refusing the money.

"I've got it." She smiled at Tara who was about to offer her the five again. Pointing to a vacant table she motioned for Tara to grab it before someone else did. Finally giving up she smiled at the slayer and turned towards the newly open table towards the back. Buffy unconsciously licked her lips watching the blonde walk away, and then turned her attention back to the boy at the counter.

Tara sat at a nearby booth watching as Buffy made their order and tried to get her feelings under control, she took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair letting it fall in her face, not knowing why was she getting so upset, why she felt so drawn to the slayer so protective so entranced, she laughed at that. It wasn't anything new, she had felt it since the day they'd met, it's what had brought her here. She'd felt compelled to see her ever since their first meeting, the thought of seeing her again keeping her going after her mother's death

She felt her heart warm and the anger dissipate as Buffy moved towards the table carrying two mochas and what looked like two blueberry muffin in the other hand. "Is this okay?" Buffy asked setting the hot drink in front of the Wicca followed by a muffin before sitting down herself. "If not I can get you something else." Tara shook her head no and smiled gratefully.

"N-No this is fine thank y-you." She reached for the muffin and broke off a piece. "I l-love blueberries." Buffy smiled happy that she had picked something the girl would like.

"So?" Buffy asked after taking a sip of her drink. Tara looked up into a pair of playful eyes. "You like blueberries?" She smiled at the slayer.

"Y-Yes my mom used to make blueberry pancakes when I was younger." Her eyes saddened briefly causing the slayer to frown. "She passed away a little over a year ago." Tara filled in sensing the question coming.

"I'm sorry." The admittance took Buffy by surprise. To know that this beautiful woman could have had to deal with something like that at so young made her stomach tighten she couldn't be much older than herself. "How'd it happen?"

"Cancer." Tara sighed letting her hair fall in her face to cover her moistening eyes. "I-It wasn't sudden, she had been diagnosed a few years before…it w-was just a matter of time b-before…" she shuddered a breath recalling her mother's last words to her. _Find the lighted path that shines in align with the calling of your own daughter. Find your soul, find your way, find the light_. "S-She was ready I think? I-I just wish I-I could've been." Buffy reached over to grasp Tara's hand in her own, letting the warm buzz they share permeate throughout their bodies calming the older girl considerably. "S-Sometimes I just w-wish I could have known what I know now…then m-maybe I could have s-saved her."

"Would she have wanted that?" Buffy questioned. Seeing the truth in Tara's eyes before the Wiccan spoke.

"N-No she taught me better than to interfere with the natural course of life…it's just I-I felt so helpless at the time…" She ducked her head down again tears streaming down her face freely now. "S-Still do sometimes when I think a-about it…"

"It doesn't matter how many vampires I slay or how many demons I kill" Buffy whispered her own pain surfacing, the guilt from her junior year rising "…there are still those that I can't save." She sighed whipping some of the gathering tears in her own eyes. "So many lives I could have saved if I had only known, been a little faster, a second quicker, stronger…but I can't" She forced a laugh. "You think with all these super powers they'd have given me something more useful like a time machine." Tara smiled weakly at the slayer seeing the haunted expression and wounded aura coveting the girl's eyes despite the light tone to the slayers voice.

"Y-You can't be everywhere at once Buffy." She squeezed the slayers hand tighter. "And you shouldn't blame yourself for that. Just with you being here fighting, risking you're life every night, think of how many lives you have saved. H-How many people are still alive because of you."

"But there are so many I should have saved!" she said harshly looking down at the table "…my junior year…I was so wrapped up in myself…so many people could still be here if only I had done my job." Tara's heart went out to the Slayer at hearing the self loathing in her voice.

"I know you can't save everyone and you can't change the past, the same way I can't with my m-mom." She took a breath trying to find away to explain this to the slayer, make her understand, make the hurt lessen "B-But I do know that we all make mistakes and unfortunately that may weigh heavier on you than on m-most but…no one should carry the sadness I see in your eyes. No one!" She whipped a falling tear from the slayers eye with her thumb. "No one should have to drown in the what if's this world offers…including you." She looked at Buffy seriously almost pleading her to understand "I-I know part of you will always carry the guilt but try to see past that…see what you have saved and know that you are responsible for not just the death but also the life."

"But…"

"No." She touched the slayer's face. "L-Look around Buffy" she looked around the room for emphasis than back at the slayer. "Every person here is alive b-because of you….I'm alive today because of you!" Buffy's breath caught in her chest at the seriousness of Tara's words and depth of honesty in her eyes and couldn't control the fresh tears now freely falling from her eyes. Tara sighed as the slayers aura seemed to lighten slightly at that and waited for the tears to stop, occasionally running her fingers over the slayers hand in a comforting gesture.

"How can you do that?" Buffy asked seriously, whipping the last of the tears from her face.

"D-Do what?" Tara asked taken aback.

"Take away the hurt," Buffy croaked interlocking there fingers more tightly and locking her eyes with Tara's.

"I-I just showed you what you were blinding yourself to Buffy." She said seriously reached for the slayers other hand. "and I can see that the pain is still there, lingering at the edges and I wish I could make it go away but I can't and unfortunately I don't think it will ever completely leave you." Buffy nodded her head looking at their hands clasped tightly on the table as their coffees sat forgotten growing cold. "B-But that doesn't mean it should be allowed to consume you." Tara added meeting Buffy's eyes.

"I think that's exactly what it was doing..." Buffy murmured in agreement noticing how light she was feeling now, not aware at how much the guilt had been weighing her down, how heavy she had felt the last couple years. "Consuming me. And I think you're right, I don't think it will ever completely disappear…and" she was thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think I'd want it to." She smiled sadly at the Wiccan noticing the confusion there "How can I hope to make the future better if I can't remember the past?" she clarified. Tara smiled encouragingly at the slayer. "I know I can't change what has happened but at least I could learn from it…and for that thank you."

"I-I didn't do anything." Tara said not knowing what Buffy was thanking her for.

"For making me see." Buffy whispered letting her eyes show her sincerity. Tara was struck by Buffy's words and didn't know what to say. Here was the Slayer. No. Not just the Slayer but her savior. The warrior of light, a girl who was fighting the world with all its evils thanking her. She just shook her head.

"Buffy you saved my life and probably hundreds more since than. And I don't think I could…or anyone else for that matter could really understand or comprehend what you have done or have had to sacrifice. What you're thanking me for has little comparison to that."

"I don't know how to make you understand but it's just as important." She glanced at her watch and looked at the Wicca sadly. "We should get going." Tara nodded and released Buffy's hands after one final squeeze and moved to help her clean up the trash.

"Are you d-done or did you want to take it with you?" Tara asked looking at the slayers cold coffee.

"No I'm done it's no good cold anyway." Tara nodded in understanding and threw away both of their hardly touched coffees along with the remnants of their now mutilated muffins while Buffy stacked their plates on the pick up counter. "Ready?" Buffy asked moving towards the door. "Did you want anything else before we leave?"

"N-No I'm fine but thank you anyway. D-Did you want something?" Tara asked.

"Nah I'm fine." She held the door open for the Wicca and followed her out. When they had nearly approached the Magic Box and no one had said anything Tara finally broke the silence.

"B-Buffy…what is it?" she asked thinking that perhaps she had upset the shorter blonde in someway. "A-Are you m-mad at me?" Buffy stopped and looked at the witch.

"Tara…" she searched her mind for the words to express what she felt. "I don't know how to make you understand." She sighed and they continued walking. "I meant what I said before." She sighed and stuffed her hands in her pockets. "I don't know how you did it but you helped me see past the destruction…and not just that but offered me a hand to pull myself out from under it." She looked at Tara pulling them to a stop outside the entrance of the Magic Box. "No one has done that before, I feel this huge weight lifted," she kicked at the ground nervously before looking back up meeting shy eyes. "You were my eyes when I was blinded." She began to open the door to the Magic Box and looked back at Tara. "And for that thank you." Tara could see the gravity in the Slayers words and simply nodded blushing slightly letting her hair fall in her face. Buffy reached forward and pushed the hair behind her ear. "I really mean that. Even Slayer's need saving sometimes." Their eyes locked.

"I can be you're eyes." Tara whispered feeling the buzz travel through her whole body where Buffy had touched her face.

"Promise?" Buffy asked seriously not understanding why she felt so comfortable with the Wiccan or the need to keep her near.

"Y-Yes." Tara said knowing that she'd do whatever it took to help Buffy.

"Good, because I'm going to hold you to that." They both smiled at that before Buffy opened the door fully for Tara and they both made their way back into the Magic Box.

Okay so that was the end of chapter 2. Sorry it's so short. But I had to get it out. Chapter 3 will be coming soon promise. And always feedback is appreciated…and wanted…and needed…and I totally think you get the point.


	3. of swords and feathers

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed especially shadow high angel, you're feedback is always inspiring so yay to you and can't wait to read some of your stories. (-**Giddy face-)**

Oh and thank you Christine and Justin for listening to me blather on like an idiot! You know I love you guys…lol.

**CHAPTER THREE**: of swords and feathers

Buffy and Tara entered the Magic Shop only to find Giles hunched over with a large ice pack in place against his lower back while Anya unpacked an opened shipment that had obviously been dropped on the ground, judging by some of the spilled contents littering the floor.

"Giles what happened?" Buffy asked seeing her watcher bent over in obvious pain.

"Well if you must know, I found out the hard way that I'm not nearly as nimble as I once was or thought." Buffy looked around the room and it clicked. The shipments he had asked her to bring in earlier. He must have strained himself carrying them in himself. She sighed in relieve, momentarily thinking that maybe they had been attacked in her absence.

"Giles I would have brought them in." she scolded "You could have just waited until I got back."

"And leave them for someone to steal?!" Anya piped up from behind one of the shelves she was stacking. "Oh no! Back injuries take a lot less time to heal than bankruptcy. And speaking of which, Buffy you're strong why don't you hurry up and bring in the last two boxes." She said as if an after thought. Buffy stiffened and shot her a look. "What?!" The ex Demon exclaimed in surprise. "It's not like I just left them out in the open for someone to steal." She said as if it were obvious. "They're locked away nice and safe in the trunk like all good little money fairing goods should be, don't worry." Anya smiled sweetly at her own little measure of precaution rather proud of herself.

"Anya do you ever think of anything besides money?" Buffy questioned quickly loosing her patience at how Anya seemed to care less about the fact that her watcher was hurt and more about something as trivial as money.

"Of course." Anya said quickly, picking a vase out from one of the boxes to set on the shelf. "I think about sex too," she turned to Buffy smiling "but a wise person will put their money before pleasure. Why do you think prostitutes never…" At this point everyone was starring at Anya slightly open mouthed. "What? What did I say?" She couldn't figure out why the room had grown so quite. She was only being honest. She looked at Buffy who had her fists scrunched into a pair of tight balls and a deeply blushing Tara. Perhaps they had a hard time facing the truth, but that wasn't her problem. She turned her back on the fuming group and continued unpacking the shipment.

"Giles if you don't do something, I will not be held responsible for my actions." Buffy growled to her watcher beginning to loose patience with the ex demon.

"Yes quite," Giles agreed whipping off his glasses to clean them vigorously. "Anya, why don't you take the rest of the day off?" He suggested not knowing what else to do. Anya turned around and eyed him suspiciously from around the shelf. "Please I beg of you." He added under his breath.

"Why, you want to weasel out of paying me for a full days work because you can't face the facts? Because that isn't going to happen. I hear that's against the law in this country…"Giles quickly cut her off.

"No Anya you may still get a full days pay, just please take the rest of the day off." The ex-vengeance demon seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"And I will still get paid?" she questioned considering. At Gile's quick nod she produced a pen from the counter. "Can I get that in pen please."

"Yes, yes just please take the day off." Gile's breathed out in relief. Glad that the girl was being so cooperative.

"Well that's very nice of you Giles, I haven't had a day off in a long while." She smiled handing him the pen and a blank check. "I'm sorry for thinking you were becoming grumpy in your old age and that your cloths were rather old fashioned and stiff looking and…" Anya said beginning to feel guilty for all the evil thoughts she had been feeling towards the older man, and wanting to get them off her chest. Buffy cut her off loosing her patience.

"Giles I'm going to bring in the shipment now before I do something I might regret." Giles sighed half wishing he could do the same.

"Perhaps that would be best, the keys to the trunk are behind the counter." Buffy not trusting herself to say anything else simply grabbed the keys and made a beeline for the door motioning for Tara to join her. She couldn't believe how rude the woman was being, though it wasn't really anything knew…but in front of Tara? She could have killed her.

"Ah yes well…" Giles said after hastily filling out the check and handing Anya her pen along with her weekly pay. "There you go. And might I add that my cloths suit me just fine thank you." Anya took the check and shoved it into her purse. "Not that it's any business of yours but they're seen as quite respectable by most people, not old fashioned."

"Respectable?" Anya scanned him up and down as if trying to figure it out. "Perhaps some might find that allusion sexually arousing but personally I do not." She smiled at her signed check and completely missed Giles look of bewilderment. "Thank you Giles and I hope your back heals quickly." At Giles nod she headed out the door thinking of what she could do with her day off. When she came close to where Buffy and Tara were standing by Gile's car she stopped. "Tara it was nice meeting you." She offered Tara a smile putting up her greatest sale's pitch. "And if you ever want to spend your hard earned cash here feel free, your money will always be welcomed and appreciated." Feeling that she had made a good enough impression she turned to leave. "Okay, goodbye you two, I'm off to find Xander and have orgasms. Have a nice night." As she left Buffy groaned a sigh of relief and closed the trunk adjusting the shipment under her arms.

"W-Well she's certainly interesting…" Tara commented trying to lighten the situation and holding the door open for the Slayer who had her arms full.

"Interesting? Try insane." Buffy corrected dropping the last of the shipments on the counter. "I really don't know what Xander sees in her, I mean aside from the obvious sex addicted behavior…and oh god I'm starting to sound like her." She turned to Giles trying to change the subject. "How's your back Giles? Is the ice helping any?" Tara couldn't help but giggle at this. Buffy shot her a look but smiled as Tara turned away blushing.

"It is yes, but I'm afraid I will not be much help in you're training today, though if you feel up to it you could work the bags instead." Buffy audibly groaned. She had never openly admitted this to anyone but she hated beating on anything for long periods of time that didn't move let alone fight back, something about it just gave her the wiggins.

"Giles I hate bag work, can't I just go on an extra long patrol or something…" Tara cringed at that, thinking about Buffy putting herself in even more unnecessary danger. She couldn't place why and knew that it was the Slayer's 'sworn duty,' but it just made her stomach turn.

"A-Actually…" she began, thinking of a possible alternative. "I-I've had a little training in hand to hand combat." Tara hesitantly offered catching a surprised look from Buffy and Giles. "W-We were taught at are c-coven to not to fully rely on magic's to be our only defense."

"Really?" Giles asked shocked at the girl's obvious extent of knowledge. "Lucida hadn't mentioned you having other training as well." He pulled his glasses off and tapped them against his chin. He supposed Lucinda really was advanced, usually the coven stuck to the old ways. No wonder hers had grown so quickly and caused such controversy.

"I-It's really not much…" Tara continued "but I know a little." She blushed catching Buffy's stare "B-Basic sparring, but I could interrogate magic within some of the attacks if it wasn't challenging enough," she saw Buffy's expression change as she looked over to her watcher expectantly, "n-not that we have to it was just a s-suggestion…" she finished nervously.

"Well…" the watcher began. "Now that I think about it…" he smiled at the fidgeting Wicca "that sounds like a good idea, Buffy hasn't had much experience in that realm. Perhaps it would benefit her. What do you think Buffy?" He turned his attention to a now fully grinning slayer. "It might pose as a challenge?" he warned noting her obvious enthusiasm.

"Challenge, shmallenge I'm all for it, hundred percent. It beets bag work by a lot." She looked at Tara who was still beet red. "And besides, I'd like to see what kind of power you really got hiding under there." She rubbed Tara shoulder affectionately "Just promise not to zap me to much alright"

"I-I wouldn't do that" Tara murmured that being the least of her worries. She frowned thinking of all the power the slayer held and grimaced. All of her growing up she had been taught to fear that type of power and now here she was putting herself at the forefront of it. What was she thinking?

"You know I wouldn't hurt you right?" Buffy asked guessing that's what was making the witch's mood plummet. When nervous blue eyes rose to meet hers she knew she had hit the nail on the head and offered the frightened witch a soft assuring smile. "Slayer's honor, promise." She whispered taking the witches hand and letting the odd connection they shared travel through. "Besides I need you to be my eyes." She said reminding Tara that she wasn't like the people she had grown to fear as a child, but was a caring, loving, and not to mention beautiful woman. With those thoughts Tara felt her worries ease and offered a lopsided grin to the slayer.

"S-Sorry for being s-stupid…" the slayer put a finger to her lips silencing her.

"Don't be." She turned to her watcher who was conveniently cleaning his glasses at the time and turned back to Tara whispering "Now you're positive, because I want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt you," She glanced at the floor away from the eyes that seemed to pierce through her soul. "But I also don't want you to feel like you have to do this for me." Tara thought about what Buffy was saying and shook her head. She did trust the Slayer and wanted desperately to get past her own fears and be apart of the Slayer's life.

"N-No Buffy I trust you. H-Honest it's just that s-sometimes my past likes to pop up and make m-me doubt would I-I already know." She ran her thumb along Buffy's hand. "A-And I already know that I trust you." Buffy glanced up and saw the trust in Tara's eyes.

"Alright then," She turned to her Watcher. "Okay Giles we're ready."

"Excellent." He put his glasses back on and motioned the two of them towards the training room. "Buffy why don't you show Tara into the training area while I get myself situated. I'll join you in a few moments." Buffy simply nodded and sadly released the witch's hand, instantly missing the contact and led them through a pair of double doors toward the back of the room.

"And this is the training room, where I have conveniently been taught to beet on all the little dust bunnies that go bump in the night." She motioned around the room, at the different mats and weaponry lining the walls. "Feel free to look around, there isn't much, but feel free." Buffy looked down at her jeans and sweater and internally debated on whether she wanted to leave the witch to go change or possibly smell and be a sweat ball for the rest of the day. Sighing she apologized to the witch "I hate to leave you alone in here, but I really need to change and have a spare change of cloths in the back." Tara nodded seeing why Buffy would want to change. "I'll be back in a minute" Buffy called as she trotted away, Tara continued to watch the retreating Slayer until she turned into a small room towards the back. When the slayer had disappeared she allowed herself to glance at the assortment of axes and swords lining the walls and frowned thinking that perhaps she was in a little over her head with this. But when she thought of Buffy and how she had assured her that she'd be gentle, her worries softened. She knew Buffy would never intentionally hurt her and the thought made her smile. Yes she would always fear that kind of power because of her past but she could never fear Buffy. She couldn't explain it but she trusted her completely. When the door opened she turned to look at the smiling slayer and blushed. She was clothed in a pair of wind pants and a tight wife beater that clung tightly around her stomach. Tara's heart began to speed up at the sight, she begged her body to calm down and looked for some type of diversion. She quickly turned, prying her eyes from the slayer.

"D-Do you use these?" Tara pointing to the assortments of weaponry not really interested but looking for something to say instead of starring stupidly "O-Or are they j-just for show?" Buffy grinned at Tara not missing the slight look of interest and pulled one of the swords from off the wall to twirl in her hand casually.

"It depends." She said setting the sword back and pulled down a shorter sword that had definitely seen better days and touched it fondly. "Most of the weapons here are for training but I have a few favorites" she smiled setting the shorter blade back in it's place. "The items I use for patrol are usually kept at my house or in the crate over there." She pointed to a large wooden box in the corner. Tara looked over at the large wooden crate then back to Buffy.

"S-so most of the weapons here are strictly for training?" Tara questioned now noticing how most of the weapons didn't look to be very worn, in fact some of them even looked new.

"Basically. Giles likes for me to experiment with different forms but would rather me fight with something I'm more accustomed to. So he keeps the others here." Buffy began to lead them into the center of the room. "Besides all Slayers are different," at Tara's raised brow she continued. "For example I'd rather fight with that short sword than one of the longer ones, I feel more in control." She laughed remembering training with her sister slayer. " And Faith preferred the battle axe above all else." She sat down on the mats and began stretching . "The first time she tried out that axe up there." She looked up from her position on the floor and pointed towards one of the grungier axes. "She took out three vamps in one blow and after that it was love at first slay." She groaned twisting from side to side. "Said she liked the power." She stretched back, then put her legs together and leaned forward. "Personally I don't like them, I feel like I'm being thrown around with every swing."

"S-So you like a-a m-more controlled attack t-then." Tara stuttered trying to avoid looking at the slayer as she stretched and her muscles flexed. She was failing horribly and could feel her face becoming more flushed.

"Yeah." Buffy groaned as she felt the stiffness leave her body. "Something like that." She looked up at a very red Tara and grinned. Maybe her interest wasn't just one sided after all. "So are you about ready?" Buffy asked standing up to roll her shoulders before stretching her back.

"Y-Yes w-whenever you are." They both turned sympathetic eyes to the door as it opened and Giles hobbled in with a chair in one hand and his ice pack in the other. Tara thankful for the distraction quickly walked over to the watcher followed by Buffy who helped the older man down in the chair while Tara relieved him of the ice. When the watcher was finally situated Tara reluctantly handed the ice back to the man thinking of a spell her mother had taught her long ago. "I-I could put a healing spell into the ice if y-you would like," she offered. "I-it won't take the pain away completely but it'll help it to heal faster?" Gile's looked at the young witch surprised and nodded his head gratefully. Tara quickly whispered a few words before running her hand over the ice pack concealing the power within it. Buffy watched Tara in fascination.

"Definitely keeping you around," Buffy said thinking of all the nicks and bruises she accumulated on a regular basis, making Tara blush.

"Thank you my dear" Giles said taking the ice Tara was handing back to him so he could put it on his lower back. "That feels much better." He commented shifting in his seat. "Is that something Lucinda taught you?" he asked curious at how quickly Tara had performed the spell and at how fast it seemed to sooth the sting.

"N-No my m-mother." Tara supplied satisfied that her heart had begun to calm down to a somewhat normal pace and her stutter wasn't so noticeable. "She said that we should never deprive the body of its natural healing properties but there was nothing wrong with helping them along when we could." The Watcher nodded his approval.

"You're mother was a very wise woman may I ask what her name was?" he asked in wonderment thinking that perhaps they had met.

"N-Not at all," Tara looked at Buffy whose face flooded with sadness. "Caroline Maclay,"

"Really?" Giles looked at the woman as if trying to figure something out. "I think I had the privilege of meeting her once. A very wise woman if I recall, tall, light brown hair fair complexioned, and very." He looked at Tara then at Buffy who was looking at him sadly. "I'm sorry I never had a chance to get to know her better." He finished, obviously bringing up bad memories and treading on dangerous territory. "Shall we begin?" He said offering a diversion, which both girls seemed to be thankful for as they swiftly made their way back towards the center of room.

"So." Buffy started trying to bring a smile back to the obviously pensive witch. "How would you like to kick my ass?" Tara offered a half smile towards the Slayer knowing that she was trying to cheer her up and decided to play along, easily falling into a banter with the shorter girl.

"I d-doubt that question is even up for debate slayer." She responded, following the Slayer with her eyes as she began to circle.

"Really? Cuz from what I've heard you're pretty powerful?" Buffy said as if it were obvious. "I'm just hoping you don't turn me into a toad." She said half jokingly.

"I-I wouldn't do that." Tara confesses easily seeing the Slayer shift ready to attack.

"Really?" Buffy questions as she throws a phantom punch towards Tara's head, Tara easily caught the punch and whispered something under her breath that cast the slayer back a good ten feet.

"R-Really." Tara said winking at Buffy who was looking down at were she had landed than back up towards her. Shock written across her features.

"That wasn't very nice of you." Buffy said in mock anger after her surprise had worn off, standing quickly.

"Sorry." Tara said innocently. Buffy just snorted and decided something a little less subtle might work to her advantage and began to rush forward, hoping to tackle her down. When Tara understood Buffy's intentions she chanted "_Sensus confundomtor_," and momentarily dissipated before appearing behind the Slayer making Giles laugh, as his slayer looked around the room confused. When Tara tapped her on the shoulder she whipped around and rolled her eyes at Tara's satisfied smirk.

"You are so gonna pay for that." No longer worried about if Tara would be able to defend herself she began to swing a little more freely.

"Okay," Tara conceited smiling as she caught Buffy's arm mid-swing. "I'll behave." She sent a kick at Buffy's midsection that the slayer easily dodged. "For now." She whispered deciding to lay off the magic for a little while and ducked a deep right hook. As she hit the floor she reached a leg out and made a swing towards the slayer's legs.

Buffy jumped back surprised at the witch's speed. She had said she had known basic sparring but from what the witch had demonstrated so far her knowledge went beyond that of just simple sparring. She glanced at her watcher who seemed just as stunned.

"I think you know more than you've let on," Buffy commented sending a series of punches at the witch who was now backing away while still deflecting each blow and offering a couple of her own in turn. "It's not fair to hold back that kind of information on an unsuspecting slayer."

"S-sorry." Tara said again this time narrowly missing a round house to her side. "B-But I don't have the p-power you have s-so…" She jumped back from a sweep at her legs.

"True but you're magic easily makes up for that." She saw an opening as the witch tried to balance herself and lunged. "Good thing for me that you decided to play fair then huh?." Buffy said knocking the witch to the ground and effectively pinning her. "I win." She stated easily looking down into a pair mischievous blue eyes. Before she could say anything else the Wicca had begun chanting something that sounded almost Latin and then found herself looking up at a now laughing Tara, who was now effectively pinning her to the ground. She groaned at the triumphant look on the witches face. "That wasn't fair." She looked over at her chuckling watcher. "Hey this isn't funny Giles."

"Actually it is rather and quite." Buffy pouted at that. "Just be thankful she only used simple defensive spells against you." He looked at Tara pointedly. "I have a feeling Tara could have damaged a whole lot more than your pride had she tried," Buffy gulped at Gile's warning, knowing it to be true. She hesitantly looked up at Tara who was still pinning her and noticed the warm buzz passing through where Tara had her hands pinned at her sides.

"You wouldn't go hurting lil'ol me now would you?" Tara smiled down at the Slayer and shook her head, blushing at the feelings coursing through her body not to mention their compromising positions.

"Good." Buffy breathed pushing her hips up to toss the witch off of her. Tara's breath caught at the action and she found herself on the floor looking up at a smiling Buffy who was offering her a hand. She took the hand gratefully and allowed Buffy to help her up. When she was standing Buffy backed away and fell into a defensive position. "Cuz I'm not gonna hold back now." Tara shook her head trying to get her hormones under control and tried to focus as Buffy was beginning to circle once again looking for an opening.

"N-Now who's not playing fair?" Tara asked as Buffy began to swing wildly at her forcing her to back up. There was no way she could have effectively blocked the slayers attacks, they were too fast, and even if she had she would have probably been knocked down by the force of them alone.

"Hey if you're gonna use all that witchy mojo I should at least be allowed to tap into mine." Tara smirked as she caught Giles inspecting Buffy's movements calculating, trying to figure out if she was holding back at all. Tara knew she was but also knew she really didn't have a chance in hell to match any of them held back or not, and needed to make a move and fast. She couldn't just keep backing up.

"I-I guess that's fair." Tara conceded, beads of sweat beginning to line her brow as she still attempted to get some space between her and the slayer who just kept coming forward. "_disolvo_." She finally shouted, giving up on the idea of simply backing away from the slayer's assault and sent a blast of blue light crashing into Buffy, making her stager slightly.

"Hey!" Buffy growled rubbing at her stomach "what was that?" she looked at her watcher who was studying Tara closely. "And in what dictionary was that fair?" She turned back to Tara with a pained expression on her face.

"A-Are you okay?" Tara asked concerned. She hadn't thought she had put enough power behind the spell to actually hurt the slayer, just enough to catch her off guard so she could put some space between them. But based on Buffy's actions she was beginning to second-guess herself. She reached out to the slayer "I-I'm s-sorry I-I didn't m-mean f-for…" She was cut off as Buffy's look of pain disappeared and she was once again pinned by a laughing slayer. She looked at Buffy's face and smiled glad she obviously hadn't hurt the slayer, but than narrowed her eyes. "A-And you say I-I don't play fair?" she questioned wiggling to get out from under the slayer. Buffy shut her eyes in pleasure at the movement then forced them open at hearing Tara's whispering. Catching the beginning sounds from the reversal spell that the Wicca had used earlier she quickly covered the witches mouth with her hand.

"Nuh-uh not gonna happen this time." Buffy stated seriously trying to ignore the heat working through her body. "I won." Tara shook her head no and smiled from under Buffy's hand, silently levitating one of the swords from off the wall towards them. Buffy just laughed at the witch's stubbornness. "Gile's common, I won right." The watcher looked confused but than started to openly laugh as he began to see what Tara was doing. "What is so funny about me winning?" Buffy asked not understanding her Watchers behavior.

"I'm sorry Buffy but I'm afraid Tara has bested you." He snorted "Again." Buffy turned a pair of annoyed eyes on her watcher.

"And how exactly do you figure that?" She looked down at Tara. "Hello I'm pinning her…sure I was a little sneaky but…hello I'm the one on top here, doesn't that usually mean I win." Buffy was beginning to get a little flustered. What was she doing wrong. She had won hadn't she?

"Perhaps you should pay a little closer attention to your surroundings Buffy?" Giles suggested seeing the sword resting just behind Buffy's head, poised to strike. Buffy just looked at him as if he were nuts and began grumbling about how her surrounding should have nothing to do with the fact that she had clearly and had undeniably won. Finally giving in she briefly looked to the left and than the right, and not seeing anything she turned her head to look behind her.

"Holy shit!' Buffy hissed lunging off the witch. The blade had been eye level with her when she had turned. No wonder Giles said she hadn't won. She rolled up into a standing position and looked over at Tara who was on the ground laughing hysterically at Buffy's reaction along with her Watcher. "What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?" Buffy asked trying to catch her breath while deciding right than and there that she could fall in love with that laugh.

"I think you've been bested Buffy." Giles said his laughter dieing away. "Good show Tara." He looked at the witch thoughtfully wondering at what spell level she was ranked. "What level are you at if you don't mind me asking?" Her laughter softened as well as she sat up thinking about what the man was asking her.

"H-Honestly I don't really know," she shrugged "I left the coven b-before anyone had a chance to put me through my paces." Buffy was only half listening as she glanced at the still levitating sword curiously.

"Would you mind if I tested you?" he tapped his chin. "I'm curious as to how powerful you really are and I need to test Willow sometime soon as well." Tara nodded at the watcher but turned to look at the unusually quite slayer who was slowly inching toward the floating blade. She looked back at the watcher and winked.

"T-Thank you Mr. Giles, I-I never really thought about it b-before but yes that would be nice of you." She focused her energy more closely on the sword as Buffy got closer. "I-If you want I could even help pay for some of the materials."

"No that's not necessary but thank you." Tara just grinned at the watcher indicating Buffy; Giles covered his smile with a cough. "Very well I'll keep you up to date then." He smirked and watched as his slayer reached a hesitant hand out to the blade and smiled as it jerked away and rose to swing. Buffy jumped back in surprise and Tara grinned before proceeding to chase the slayer with the sword around the room, laughing as Buffy stumbled about trying to get out of it's reach.

"Giles!" Buffy half whined half laughed dodging as the sword swept again towards her head. "Make her stop!" The watcher just shrugged.

"I'm afraid this is your problem to sort out with Tara." He smirked at the witch thinking he really hadn't seen Buffy this jovial in quite some time and hoped the witch decided to stick around.

"Well you're no help!" Buffy screeched jumping away from a playful jab at her stomach. "Tara stop, this is kind of creepy," She rolled away from another sweep. "You're doing for swords what Psycho did for showers!" she screamed leaping back and trapping herself against the wall. "And I really don't think I can recover from another one of those so please…" She glanced at the witch who just smiled at her and winked playfully. Than faster than Buffy's eyes could follow the sword was flying towards her. She held her breath as the blade came closer to it's target, then almost collapsed in relief as at the last second the blade transformed into a feather, that was to float harmlessly toward the ground barely an inch from Buffy's heart. A little wearily Buffy reached a hand out to the feather and smiled as the blade materialized in front of her, her hand on the hilt. She gave Tara an award winning smile which was returned.

"See I knew you were a good witch." Buffy declared trying to catch her breath and jogging towards the witch who was smirking at the still chuckling watcher.

"My dear I think you gave our Slayer quite a fright with that." Giles said noticing Buffy's quickened breathing.

"Hey I knew she wouldn't have really hurt me…" Buffy said defensively to her watcher. "But if you had a floating sword aiming at your head I'm sure you wouldn't go all 'Bugsy' and sit around to ask 'what's up doc?" Tara giggled at that and Giles just looked at her confused, "Oh never mind." She looked over at Tara "You wouldn't have actually hurt me right?"

"N-Never." Tara stated deadly serious. "B-But I was wondering…t-that is I-if you don't mind…if I-I could m-maybe go with you on Patrol sometime?" She didn't want to crowd the Slayer but she would feel better if she could be there in case Buffy needed her, she just had this deep down need to keep her safe and do whatever she could to help her. Buffy simply grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

"I was actually thinking the same thing but wasn't sure how comfortable you'd be with it." She looked at her watcher. "Giles what do you think? Think she could be a honorary Scooby?"

"Buffy if this young lady can pin you, something even Faith had only ever done twice, and on her first try? How can I say no?" He looked at the young lady with a hint of awe, who also seemed a little shocked at this information and let her hair fall forward to hide her blush. "Besides I think she's good for you." Buffy beamed at this and hugged her watcher who winced a little in pain.

"Buffy, my back it's…" Buffy quickly let her watcher go and gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry Giles." She turned her attention over to Tara who was once again hiding behind her hair. Frowning at this she leaned forward and pushed some of the veiling hair back behind the witch's ear and locked eyes wit the witch "Well than it's settled." She said touching Tara's face, loving the warm buzz that was passing between them. "You're in." Tara couldn't help but grin beautifully at the slayer. She had wanted so badly to be a part of Buffy's life and now here she was with the slayer giving her free access. She almost cried out in happiness but instead pulled Buffy into a firm hug which the slayer quickly returned.

"T-Thank you Buffy." She whispered into the girl's hair taking in the soft sent of vanilla & almonds. "Thank you." Buffy was a little surprised at the action but figured the witch's life hadn't been too pleasant before this point and found herself more than willing to do anything she could to make it better. She pulled the Wicca closer against her and smiled softly, knowing that she would do everything and anything to keep that smile on her face.

14


	4. The talk

CHAPTER FOUR: the talk

"Mom I'm back!" Buffy shouted as she hurried through the door and up the stairs. Joyce looked up from the book she was reading to see a blur of her grinning daughter breeze past her. Curious as to what had obviously pleased her daughter she set her book down and began to head upstairs.

"Alright spill. What happened?" Joyce asked stopping outside of Buffy's room and noticing her daughter rummaging through her cloths obviously looking to please someone. If the accumulation of cloths already present on the bed was any sign, "No I take that back…who happened?" She asked pulling Buffy out of her oblivious state of delirium.

"Huh?" Buffy asked stupidly trying to play it off, but deep down knowing her mother would see through that act instantly. She always did.

"You heard me." Joyce said good naturedly. "So who is it?" she asked sitting on the edge of Buffy's bed. "Do I know them?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Buffy sing songed, pulling down a beige pair of pants and a blue crop top. Joyce plucked up one of the skirts Buffy had discarded on the bed.

"Yes I suppose you're right." She said dejectedly, causing Buffy to look at her confused. She smiled at her daughter. "Skirts are rather formal for a first date." She squealed as Buffy tossed a pillow at her head.

"It's not a date." Buffy mumbled quickly heading towards the bathroom to take a shower. The grin she had been wearing never once leaving her face. Hearing the shower start, Joyce laughed lightly and headed downstairs to make a cup of coffee.

"Whatever you say Buffy."

A few minutes later after all the sweat had been cleaned off her body, Buffy changed and headed downstairs. She looked at her mom nervously as she came into the kitchen knowing that she was going to be pumped for info. Joyce just smiled knowingly, allowing her daughter to take her time and passed her a cup of coffee, waiting for her to begin. But after a few moments of silence and seeing her daughter's eyes glazing over more than once her resolve finally cracked.

"Oh come on! Who is he Buffy?" she finally asked setting her cup down. Buffy nearly choked on her own sip of coffee._ He_? She hadn't even thought about that, it never really occurring to her that that might be an issue. All she had been thinking about since she left the Magic Shop was a pair of mischievous blue eyes and a crooked smile that she swore took her breath away. She blushed realizing that the blonde Wicca had been the only thing she had been thinking about since she had left the shop. She looked down at her cup of coffee avoiding her mother's playful smile. Seeing her daughter's face fall put Joyce's mom-dar on full alert.

"Buffy, honey what is it?" she said pulling her chair closer to where Buffy was sitting and stroked her hand through Buffy's hair. "You know you can tell me anything right?" Buffy looked at her mom sadness written across her face.

"Have you ever met someone," she started dropping her gaze to her hands. "And when your were with them everything seemed to click." She rubbed her hands against her still semi damp hair. "Like it was supposed to happen," she looked up at her mother pleading her to understand, "you were meant to meet that person and just seeing them smile makes your heart beat that much harder that much more stronger and something about them…they just pull you in?"

"Like Angel?" Joyce asked unsure of where her daughter was going with this.

"No." she shook her head. "Definitely not like Angel, opposite in fact," she took a deep breath thinking "and if the feelings I'm having right now are any indication, Angel is looking to be more and more like a high school sweetheart rather than a lost soul mate." She groaned seeing her mother's look change "Mom when they look at me, smile it's like time freezes and it's just them…and it's amazing! I've never ever had that with anyone. Including Angel. Or any other guy for that matter," she said fading away. Joyce raised her eyebrow at this trying to figure out exactly what her daughter was saying, and possibly not saying.

"So you're saying this _said person_ isn't like Angel at all? Better even?" she asked wondering how the love of her daughter's life, someone who she had nearly ended the world over, suffered for, almost died for, could be tossed off as a silly high school crush and after just one day? Not that she was particularly fond of the vampire, by no means. But who could have breached that shell of a heart Buffy had been carrying around since her junior year, in less than one day? Then something occurred to her. "Buffy when did you meet this person?"

"Right before we moved here from L.A…" she paused not sure how to continue. She chanced a glance at her mother who seemed to be trying to remember something. Buffy figured she was trying to remember one of her later boyfriend's names before they had left and decided to put that thought at rest. "It wasn't Pike if that's what you're thinking." Buffy shook her head thinking about it, he had been a mistake. "Shortly before the school year ended I was out on patrol and I heard a scream." Joyce gave her an odd look never realizing Buffy had patrolled in L.A. "Long story short they were hurt, nobody was home…so I brought them back to the house and cleaned them up…the next day they were gone." She couldn't help smile when she remembered the first time she heard that laugh, something she swore could make her melt, or the way her hand seemed to buzz at the slightest contact when she was cleaning the girl's arms with the antiseptic. "But even then…for as little time as we spent together, it just felt right…it…" Joyce quickly turned to her daughter something finally beginning to click.

"You said it happened a few months before we finalized the move?" Joyce asked slowly. Buffy shook her head yes not quite sure where her mother was going with this, "And you brought them back to the house after they had been attacked right?" Another nod. Finally putting the pieces together Joyce turned to her daughter realizing this could be a very delicate situation. "Correct me if I'm wrong…" she took a deep breath "Buffy what is_ her _name." At that comment Buffy's jaw dropped. "I thought so." Joyce said wrapping her arm around Buffy, trying to give her daughter support.

"Wh-What?!" she stared at her mother in disbelief. "How did you...when I didn't even…" Joyce patted her daughter's hand comfortingly and decided she should explain.

"Buffy aside from the pronoun game you were just playing with, remember that shirt I found all wrinkled, torn and stained in the garbage when I came home that Sunday?" Buffy nodded blankly. "and you said the red stains where paint?"

"Yes but how did you figure out abou-" Joyce cut Buffy off before she fell into babble mode, compliments of Willow.

"Let me finish Buffy. And also I'm assuming that wasn't paint than after all?" Buffy shook her head no, still trying to wrap her mind around how her mother could have figured it out, when she was still having a hell of a time with it herself. "Buffy that was the last vacation I went on, the last weekend I was gone." Buffy stared at her mom in disbelief signaling her to go on. "That shirt I found wasn't yours. I didn't recognize it… but…that shirt was a woman's shirt Buffy." After blinking a few times shocked at how her mother put that together she almost didn't notice that she was still talking. "and then there were all the phone books lying around, unknown calls, not to mention the news paper articles." Joyce smiled at her daughter. "You said they were research projects" she said as if an after thought surprised that she hadn't put two and two together back than. Buffy looked down at her coffee and too another big sip trying to clear her throat "…you were looking for her weren't you." The older Summers said softly

"Yes." Buffy whispered feeling her heart pounding in her chest. "But than she was gone." She felt her heart constrict at the thought of the blonde disappearing again like that. "And I tried and I tried, but she was gone." Joyce rubbed her daughter's back soothingly. "I didn't think I'd ever see her again." And than we moved here, and I-I…than today she just walks into the store and…"

"The feelings were all still there." Joyce offered finishing the thought for Buffy and taking her daughter's hands.

"But Mom." Buffy said trying to point out the problem "She's a girl! And hello!" She waved a hand towards herself "Me girl!"

"Yes Buffy I gave birth to you, I'm aware." Joyce said smiling. "But is the fact that you're both female really that big of a deal?" Buffy stared at her mother in shock.

"You're okay with it?" Buffy asked almost in awe. Joyce chuckled.

"Buffy I'm you're mother, the mother of a Slayer who could die at any given time." She paled slightly. "And as much as it scares me to think that, I know it's possible. It's something that I am slowly beginning to come to terms with." She ran a hand through Buffy's hair again. "But it's a part of who you are." She sighed trying to find the words to tell her daughter. "You have never had it easy Buffy and I know part of that is my fault, but these past couple of years we've all noticed you slowly backing away, loosing the light in you're eyes so to say." What her mother was saying Buffy realized was pretty much what Tara had said. "Yet today you come running in here grinning from ear to ear. You can't know how happy that made me." She stood up and refilled her cup of coffee. "And if it's a woman that can bring that light back in your eyes when you smile, then I will gladly welcome her with open arms."

"But she's a…" Buffy paused, the fact that Tara also being a girl seemingly not a problem, "How are you taking this so well? I can barely wrap my head around it."

"Buffy I work with gay and lesbian clients all the time, the fact that they were gay had never bothered me. In fact they are probably some of the nicest people I have ever met." She sat down again and held Buffy's eyes. "Everyone deserves and needs love Buffy. It has no gender. Love has no gender, and you deserve to be loved and to be happy. So if a girl or guy, black white, gray or in-between, make you happy than just go with it honey, we only ever live once."

"You have got to be the greatest Mom ever." Buffy said pulling her mother into a hug, the fact that her mother was completely supportive finally cementing.

"I wouldn't say all that." She said laughing, hugging her daughter back. "But the fact that this person has a pulse is definitely working in your favor." Buffy laughed with her mom at that and released her from the death grip she had on her.

"Thanks mom." Buffy said wiping off a stray tear.

"So does she have a name?" Joyce asked very curious about the girl who had obviously stolen her daughter's heart.

"Her name's Tara, and…" Joyce watched the glazed look come over her daughter's face again.

"And?"

"God!" she stared at her mom snapping back, "I have never had it this bad before."

"This really hit you hard didn't it?"

"Yeah," Buffy whispered lost in her thoughts.

"So it is a date then?" Buffy blushed. "Come on girl, details!" Joyce said poking Buffy in the ribs playfully.

"No I don't think it is. At least I don't think so." Buffy said. "After training at the Magic Shop we both decided to go get cleaned up and meet for lunch." She glanced at the clock figuring she still had a couple of hours to spare. "Plus she said she needed to unpack some of her things and told Gile's she'd bring some of her books over to the Magic Box so he could look at them."

"Mr. Giles knows her?" Joyce asked confused.

"One of the Covens in L.A. sent her here to help with the Hellmouth." Buffy clarified.

"Covens? Like witch's Covens?" Joyce asked thoughtful.

"Yeah and she's really powerful, much stronger than Willow no offense to her. She even beat me in sparing today when Gile's hurt his back unloading one of the newer shipments." Buffy said the thought of being bested by the witch making her groan. "She could have wiped the floor with me today."

"She beat you?" Joyce asked in surprise.

"Yeah, twice." Buffy mumbled putting her cup in the sink. "And that's something that Faith only ever did a couple of times and she's a slayer." Buffy smiled remembering the feeling of the witch being pressed against her. "She even asked to come on patrol with me."

"I think I like this girl already." Joyce said still stunned that her daughter had been bested.

"HEY!" Buffy grumbled. "Why is everyone so happy that I got my ass kicked?" Joyce laughed at that.

"No it's not that Buffy, but if she could best you in sparring and she was with you on patrol…" She faded away thinking of the possibilities.

"And it's not just her strength though," Buffy went on. "she's really kind and funny and not to mention beautiful." Buffy quieted a little. "And she makes me see things that I wouldn't let myself see before." Joyce watched as Buffy grew quite.

"Like what honey?"

"That everything isn't my fault and that I shouldn't continue just hating myself for the things that I never could have changed…" Buffy's mom also grew silent in contemplation realizing that those must have been the type of thoughts that had been pulling her daughter away from them. She was blaming herself. "She has a way of putting things in perspective that I wouldn't have seen on my own."

"Buffy, she sounds wonderful." Her mother said softly thinking about how a girl that barley even knew her daughter could see that type of pain Buffy kept locked away and help her with it so quickly. "Did you talk with her about these things at the Magic Box."

"No I was showing her a brief tour around Sunnydale and we stopped for coffee and got to talking." Joyce grinned wickedly at her daughter.

"Oh so this is going to be like a second date?" she joked making Buffy blush.

"I don't even know if she likes me like that or not. For all I know this could be completely one sided." She mumbled self degradingly.

"How could she not?" Joyce said, though knowing it was a partially biased opinion. "Think of it this way, she knows you're a slayer and wants to help you, one of you're biggest problems overcome already. Plus you said she was a very perspective person, not to mention a witch. And if my Hellmouth knowledge serves me correctly lesbianism is very accepted in that practice." Buffy's eyes widened. "Why don't you just get to know her and see?"

"How do you know that?" Buffy asked, personally not knowing that much about magic herself, and definitely not expecting her mother to know anything concerning it.

"My daughter's the Slayer, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't do a little research now and then." She smiled at her daughter encouragingly. "Just get to know her and see Buffy and if you want to, perhaps you can bring her to dinner sometime." Her daughter brightened at this "Because from what I've heard, I would certainly like to meet her."

"You really are amazing you know that?" Buffy said beginning to think back to how Tara had been looking at her earlier. "And I think you're right about the whole witch theory, though I don't want to get my hopes up, just in case."

"That's all you can do." Joyce looked at the clock. "What time did you say you were going to be meeting up with her again?"

"I'm going to have to leave in about forty-five minutes." She smiled at her mother, standing, needing to start getting ready. "You really are the best mom ever."

"Okay Buffy." Joyce said laughing as Buffy pulled her into another hug. "Go on go on, but I want details later alright!" Buffy just grinned not believing how well and excepting her mother was being with all of this and ran to the bathroom to start getting ready.

I know it's short and there really isn't any B/T action going on, but it needed to be done and I hoped you guys all liked it. And as always I live for feedback. Chapter 5 is coming soon. And thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far.

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	5. fluxing forces and old friends

CHAPTER FIVE: fluxing forces

Buffy sighed happily as she made her way towards the Magic Box. She couldn't believe how understanding and supportive her mother was being about the whole thing. She had no idea what it would have been like had she been against it. Buffy grimaced thinking about when her mom had found out about her being the slayer. That hadn't exactly gone over well. As she got closer to the shop she began to feel a soft humming, her breath caught as she saw Tara through the glass. The taller blonde was bent over a book with Giles, talking about something in the texts when her head perked up from the book and she turned to look out the window at the slayer.

Giles noticed the quick move and turned to see what had caught the witch's attention and noticed Buffy standing outside the shop. He looked back to Tara who was smiling shyly at his Slayer. Tara must have sensed Buffy coming, her back had been turned to her so there was no other explanation. "Very interesting," he said thinking out loud.

"I-I'm sorry?" Tara said turning back to the watcher.

"Oh!" Giles said not realizing he had said that out loud. "These books are very interesting Tara, thank you." He glanced back down at the Magical Texts in his hands. "I'll have to call Lucinda for some of the translations but they should prove to be very interesting." The bell rang over the shop door as Buffy stepped inside. They both turned to greet the slayer.

"H-Hi Buffy." Tara said, unknowingly staring at the slayer, who was clad in a pair of tight kaki colored pants and a blue crop top with a black blazer.

"Hey." Buffy said pulling a chair to the table and sitting down close to the witch, "You get your stuff all unpacked?" at the witches nod Buffy continued. "So what are you going for?" she asked curious about anything concerning the girl before her.

"Psychology and a minor in business." Buffy stared at the witch a little surprised.

"God first Willow and now you," she groaned banging her head on the table, "I'm not majoring let alone minoring in anything. Soon you're goanna see how stupid I really am and go running in the other direction." Tara giggled at this.

"I-I doubt that Buffy, a lot of students go into college and have to feel around for awhile before they find what really suites them." Buffy gave Tara a sad smile.

"Not like I'm going to have a ton of time to figure it out let alone do anything with it." Buffy said thinking about how slayer's rarely made it to their eighteenth birthday let alone their twentieth. Tara looked at Giles questioningly.

"I'm afraid she's right Tara," Giles said sharing the same sad look Buffy was wearing "It's rare for a slayer to live past her eighteenth birthday. As of up to date Buffy is one of the longest living slayers." Tara sucked in a breath at that, it never really having occurred to her that the slayer had to live with that knowledge since her calling, she knew slayers didn't live very long, but to have to live with that knowledge? That had to be a lot to stomach. Buffy seeing Tara's mood change decided to try and lighten things up.

"But hey let's think on the bright side, I've already beaten the prophecy twice." She touched Tara's hand. "And if you can kick my but in training think of what an asset you'd be in battle or on patrol for that matter?" Tara smiled at Buffy than looked quizzical. She knew Buffy had beaten the prophecy by living past her eighteenth birthday but what about the other. Buffy caught the look. "What is it?"

"Y-You said you beat the prophecy twice…" Tara said.

"Not exactly Buffy." Giles corrected.

"Well…" Buffy said annoyed with her watcher, "Kind of. Maybe beat was the wrong word, it was more like a loop hole type of deal" Tara motioned for her to go on. "You see in my sophomore year there was this prophecy that I would die." Tara paled.

"B-But you didn't." Tara offered feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of Buffy dieing. Buffy grimaced wishing she didn't have to tell this part.

"Um well I kind of…did" Tara gasped.

"K-K-Kind of?"

"Well he drowned me in a pool of water and Xander brought me back with CPR." Tara looked at her shocked. "So see I was only kind of dead…for like a minute" she glanced at Tara who was still a little pale but seemed to be calming down a bit. "Okay enough about me and dieing." Buffy finished lamely.

"Good idea." Giles said also falling into a grave mood, thinking about how close he had come to loosing the girl he thought of as a daughter. Tara just nodded, personally not wanting to think about how close Buffy really had come to dieing. She had just found her and didn't want to think about it..

"So Tara." Buffy said trying to change topics, "What are you in the mood for, we have fast food, Mexican, Chinese, Pizza, and…" She looked at her watcher. "Giles is there anything you want specifically?" the watcher shook his head flipping through a couple of the book's pages.

"No Buffy I'm fine thank you, I think I'm going to see if I can decipher any of this while you're gone." He glanced down at a page that looked to behalf torn. "Perhaps it'll explain some of the recent activity going on in the Hellmouth" He glanced up from the page to look at Tara. "I don't suppose you can understand any of this…it looks to be a mix between Gaelic and" he looked closer at the scripture. "Ancient Greek perhaps?"

"S-Some…but Lucinda w-would be much more inclined to help you with that."

The witch looked down at her shoes "S-Sorry I can't b-be of more help." She mumbled reddening. Giles shook his head.

"No dear it's alright, I'm a bit rusty but I'm sure I can manage." He closed the book and slowly stood. "I need to phone Lucinda as it is though. You two run along and have fun."

"Giles are you sure you don't want anything?" Buffy asked as she pointed towards the street. "I could grab you something." Giles shook his head no.

"I ate a sandwich earlier while you were gone, so go on." He said moving towards the counter and picking up the phone. "I'm going to call her now and see if she can tell me what dialect this is in." Buffy grinned turning to Tara. "Yes can you connect me to Los Angelus please?" he said into the phone.

"Ready?" Buffy asked.

"Y-Yes." Tara said grabbing her knapsack off the table.

"Okay." She turned back to her watcher. "Giles we'll be back in a few hours to get ready for patrol." She glanced back at Tara. "That is if you still want to go?" Buffy asked thinking that perhaps the Wiccan may have changed her mind.

"N-no Buffy. I still want to go." She smiled at the slayer. "I didn't come this far just to read books and sit around uselessly. B-Besides I want to help."

"Alright. I just wanted to make sure." She touched the blondes arm. "And I'm glad. It'll be nice to have someone to talk to other than myself." She winked making the Wicca blush. "Giles we'll be back in a few hours for patrol."

"Alright Buffy, goodbye and thank you again Tara." The older man said looking up from the phonebook.

"Y-You're welcome Mr. Giles." Tara said as her and Buffy turned to leave.

"So where to?" Giles heard Buffy ask as her and Tara left the store. He shook his head thinking about the two then focused his attention the phone as he became connected.

"Hello?" Giles said into the phone. "Lucinda?"

"Giles, hello I wasn't expecting you to call until later." The older woman said into the phone. He smiled at the voice of his old friend. "Did Tara make it in alright? Her plane wasn't due for another hour or so."

"Yes she made it in just fine." He said.

"Has she had a chance to meet up with Buffy..." She asked knowingly. He chuckled.

"Yes, yes she did. And I have a feeling you know more than you're letting on old friend. It would seem that they had met in L.A. shortly after Buffy was called." He smiled to himself. "Something I suppose you already knew."

"Well there was no way to know for sure." She paused. "But I had suspicions when Tara's mother told me about a girl that had saved her daughter's life." She paused not sure how to say this. "Giles, from what little I've heard and what I've seen, Tara didn't have an easy time growing up…I don't know the details, not to mention that her mother just recently passed on, be easy with her" Giles frowned thinking about Tara's stutter and seemingly low self esteem, though it did seem to improve around Buffy somewhat.

"Was she abused?" he asked already guessing the woman's mother had passed away judging by the way the girl had reacted to his questioning earlier.

"I think so…and I also think Buffy might have saved her from more than just a vampire that night." She breathed into the phone. "Tara was already fairly powerful when she came to us, one vampire I'm sure she could have handled on her own" Giles nodded his head thinking of the witch's powers.

"I think you might be right in thinking that…she is very powerful." He said thoughtfully then smiled. "She even outmatched Buffy in sparring." He said on a lighter note.

"She sparred?" Lucinda asked surprised. Tara had only ever actually participated in one of the classes, than had fled the room before having a breakdown, another event that had tipped her off that perhaps she had been abused. The class was completely optional and was mostly filled with males. She had just simply thought that perhaps Tara had a crush on one of the other students when she continued to attend. She knew better now of course but at the time it had puzzled her. "And she won?" she asked thinking that perhaps Tara had been teaching herself by watching the other students.

"Yes." Giles said confused. "She said that she had only known the basics, but proved to be very versed, of course she couldn't out power Buffy, but between what she had learned with you're classes and magic… she did."

"Well that was something I didn't see coming."

Why do you seem so surprised by this?"

"Tara has never been one for violence and only ever participated in one of those classes, she came to the others of course, but strictly as an observer." She took a breath. "And she was comfortable with sparring with Buffy?" she asked trying to figure out how someone so fearful of physical power would agree to sparring with a slayer. "She didn't seem troubled by it when you had asked her?" Lucinda asked. Giles was a little surprised as well at the fact that what Tara performed today was self taught and that she feared physical power. But then he thought back to Buffy's promising to be gentle and caring nature towards the girl. He shook his head.

"Actually she was the one who had originally offered to spar with Buffy since I had hurt my back earlier."

"This is an interesting turn of events…" Lucinda said thinking. She knew Tara preferred the fairer sex but she also knew the woman feared the type of power that made the slayer. "Giles how does Tara act around the slayer, in general I mean?" she asked trying to remember something she had read once pertaining to the slayer.

"I'm not sure what you're asking." The watcher said confused.

"I mean does she seem comfortable around her, or does she seem to be more on the skittish side?" Lucinda clarified. Then he realized something Tara had only ever gotten the courage to offer to be Buffy's sparring partner when he had suggested her going on a longer patrol.

"Well she definitely doesn't seem to be frightened by Buffy presence, if that's what you're asking." He thought back to how Tara acted around Buffy. "If anything she seems to be quite protective of her." He chuckled. "and Buffy of her."

"Interesting." Lucinda said trying to think back to what exactly had been in that book she had come across years ago.

"Dare I ask what you are talking about now?" Giles said making the older woman laugh.

"Nothing you need to worry about Rupert." She said using the watcher's first name. "At least not for now." She frowned as once again something in the air made her skin craw. "Giles have you sensed any recent change within the Hellmouth and its recent activities?" she asked feeling a very strong flux within the spiritual balances. Giles frowned deeply.

"So you've felt the darkness strengthening as well then?" he asked, also sensing the balance of good and evil shifting.

"Yes and it seems to be growing stronger, especially now that Tara has arrived." Lucinda shivered never having felt something this powerful. "Have you talked to Buffy about it?"

"Briefly yes, but we haven't been able to find anything pointing to it's causes, and there is absolutely nothing in any of the watcher's books, that give cause for concer, if anything it eludes to it being nothing out of the ordinary." He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Buffy said she had felt it shifting recently as well but her patrols have remained in realms of norm." Lucida sighed.

"You know I feel about the council, but I'm not here to argue." She groaned. "I don't know what's all inside those books Giles, I hadn't had much chance to read through them myself…but I have a feeling they will help you find the answers you're looking for." Giles nodded his understanding.

"I hope you're right," he sighed feeling the energies shift again. "Thank you Lucinda I'll start on it tonight and keep you up to date on anything I find."

"Good and you won't be the only one doing some book work tonight." She said already looking through her own books.

"Pardon?"

"I don't know why exactly but from the moment I've met Tara I've had an inkling that she may be a part of something much larger than I or anyone could have imagined."

"Really?" Giles said also getting that impression but not wanting to say anything.

"Yes, that being one of the reasons I agreed to take her on as my student."

"Do you think she has something to do with what is happening with the Hellmouth?" he asked trying to guess at what the woman was talking about.

"I'm not sure, but there was something I came across ages ago. I can't recall where I read it or what it contained specifically, but I…I think it may help." She said flipping through another book. Giles pondered this for a moment.

"Do you think them meeting was prophetic?" he rubbed his neck. "I may be off with this but-"

"To tell you the truth Giles, I don't know." She tossed the book she was just looking through to the floor. "What I do know is that Tara is one of the most powerful sorceresses I have ever had the privilege to teach and we both felt the draw for her presence in Sunnydale. Prophetic…perhaps…fate…maybe, but as we stand now there is no way to tell."

"So I suppose all we can do now is try and find out all that we can?" He asked starring at the books Tara had brought to him.

"Yes, for now that is all we can do. I'll call you if I find anything to be of use."

"Alright Lucinda, take care." Giles said.

"You too, we'll be in touch."

"Alright, goodbye." He frowned hanging up the phone. He didn't know if Tara being here was prophetic or not, but he knew she would be of help. What was really bothering him was the fact that Lucinda was feeling the fluxions all the way in L.A. That by no means could be a good sign. Moving back to his seat at the table he began flipping through the pages of the first book, hoping to find something…anything. He glanced outside watching as the sun was beginning to set. Buffy would be back soon he thought, before turning back to the texts before him.

(okay please don't kill me…but I was tampering with the idea of expanding this story beyond just their relationship and thought it might be more challenging…I'm open to suggestions here. Tell me what you think. Should the story be solely revolved around the two's budding relationship or should it have a little more depth to it? Thanx.)


	6. foreboding

CHAPTER SIX: foreboding

Giles looked up from the texts he was reading as the bell rang over the shop. He smiled at the red head thankful for the distraction. Even after an hour he still hadn't found anything.

"Hi Giles," Willow said glancing around the room looking for her friend. "Is Buffy around, I checked her house and her mom said I could probably find her here."

"No she isn't here at the moment." Giles closed the book he was reading knowing the red head would want to know that Tara had arrived. "Do you remember that girl that I mentioned Lucinda would possibly be sending." Willow nodded.

"The sorceress? She is still coming right?" Willow asked desperately wanting someone to help her expand upon her training.

"She stopped in earlier today-" Willow beamed cutting Giles off.

"She did?" she asked excitedly, at Giles's nod she fell into a full on babble. "Really? Goddess I was really beginning to think that maybe she wouldn't be coming at all. I mean it'll be so cool to have someone to do spells with, that is supposing that she would want too..." She paused taking her own words into consideration. "Do you think she would…?"

"From what I've seen of her I'm sure she would." Giles encouraged sending Willow into another hyper induced rant.

"I hope so…I mean I love Buffy and know she tries but she's a little dense in the magical realm, and trust me when I say Buffy and Magic so not a good mix." She was thoughtful a moment. "Kind of like Buffy and cooking…not that it really matters because she's the slayer and all and doesn't need to get all Martha Stewart magicy…and well never mind" Giles shook his head.

"Willow I know you're eager to meet other practicers but Oz helps doesn't he?" Giles offered, remembering the aspiring musician helping his girlfriend many a time with spells in the past.

"Not lately…kind of…I mean well yes, I guess he does…but with the candles and the dim lights…" she said dreamily, instantly missing her boyfriend, "It gets kind of distracting." Giles groaned not liking where this was heading

"Willow." Giles said trying to get the girl back on track.

"Oh sorry…I meant he helps…a lot…but it's not in the way that is really useful, magic wise I mean," she blushed deeply. "Anyway…and since Amy went and turned herself into a rat last year, she has a hard time with the chanting," her brow creased, "not to mention the understanding for that matter…and well it just going to be nice to have a person to do bigger spells with and…" she took a deep breath. "Sorry. Oz usually stops me when I get like this." she said referring to the babble. Giles just shook his head surprised that he had caught most of what the girl had even been saying, she had been talking so quickly.

"Well…it was certainly…enlightening." The red head's blushed before her eyes lit upon the ice pack.

"Giles! Oh my god I am so sorry, I didn't even notice, what happened?"

"It's quite all right Willow." Giles said motioning for the red head to sit down. "I hurt it earlier while unpacking some of the newer shipments." He consciously rubbed his hand over it and decided Tara's little serum must be working as he was hardy feeling any pain at all, but he left the ice pack there not wanting to tempt fate. "As for Buffy and Tara, they won't be back for a while they just left for patrol about an hour ago." Willow gave Giles a sympathetic look while taking the offered seat. She had been hoping to maybe spend some of the seriously needed quality time with one of her best friends, but was easily distracted by the new turn of events. Especially since Oz was away practicing for next weeks gig.

"So?" Willow asked barley able to stand the suspense and excitedly clasping her hands together. "What's she like? Do you know what rank she is? If she's a sorceress I bet she's high. Not like drugs high…like magical herb high…um I think that came out wrong…oh never mind you know what I mean." She waved her hands in the air dramatically causing Giles to almost laugh at the giddy look on the girl's face.

"Well from what I've seen she seems to be a very nice young lady." He paused. "As for her rank I am not so sure. Apparently she has never been tested." He smiled slightly "Considering she bested Buffy though I'm assuming it to be quite high." Willow's smile turned into a look of shock and then disbelief.

"You're joking right?" Giles shook his head no. "Beginners luck?" Willow asked.

"Perhaps, but I don't think so. At least not after she bested Buffy the second time-"

"By bested you mean by magic right?" At Giles's nod Willow nearly fainted. "Wow" she said in aw thinking about the power Tara must have. "She must really be powerful…" Giles nodded agreeing. "WAIT! She beat Buffy!" the red head grinned. "Buffy is so never gonna live this down! Teach her to call magic stupid. HA!" she grinned thinking back to how Buffy had called magic stupid after she nearly singed her eyebrows off during a simple remembrance spell back in high school.

"Pardon?" Giles asked confused.

"Oh just Buffy calling magic stupid." Giles also grinned knowing that his slayer had never really taken magic seriously before now and could see why Willow was pleased. "Hey do you think she would know how to make Amy human again?"

"I'm afraid I don't know for sure, but perhaps." Willow shook her head dejectedly.

"Because I keep trying…"she faded away a little. "But last time she turned pink and well…I don't know if me experimenting in glamour spells is the answer and I'm afraid to try anything else on my own…"

"Willow," Giles said interrupting the red heads thoughts as something occurred to him.. "Has Buffy ever mentioned Tara to you before?" at that Willow scrunched up her brow.

"No. Why would she? I thought one of your friends was sending her over from a Coven in L.A.? As far as I knew they don't even know each other. At least not before today?" Giles shook his head no.

"Yes that's what I had been thinking, but it turns out that they had met once in L.A. Before Buffy came to Sunnydale." The red head frowned at this.

"Really?" Willow searched her memory. "I don't remember her mentioning it," she paused. "Actually Buffy practically avoids talking about anything that had happened in L.A. all together. She calls it her Cordelia era." Giles also frowned.

"Yes I've noticed that as well, but I had hoped perhaps she had spoken to you about their meeting."

"Not a word." Willow said dejectedly feeling once again out of the loop. She chanced a glance at Giles who seemed to be deep in thought.

"Giles if it's about Buffy not telling us about it," Willow said quickly, defending her best friend, "we both know Buffy is a little secretive. I mean hello slayer here, it's like…well I'm not exactly sure what it's like but they practically go together, slayer and secrets, secrets and slayers, secret identity and all. But isn't them meeting before a good thing? Gives them something in common…well besides the obvious fight against evil?" She paused. "Unless they hate each other? They don't hate each other do they?" she said nervously remembering how Cordelia used to treat them in high school and hoping Buffy hadn't done that to the sorceress.

"No they don't hate each other," Giles said ceasing the girl's worries, "quite on the contrary actually,"

"Well that's a relief." She looked at the texts littering the table. "Hey are these new?" she asked pulling one into her lap, not recognizing the text.

"Yes, Lucinda had Tara bring them to me in hopes of helping us to decipher what is happening on the Hellmouth." Willow nodded blankly while slowly reading through where the watcher had obviously left off, then cringed as another sickening wave passed. Giles noted the girl's reaction as he also felt the shift.

"You've felt the balances shifting as well then I take it?" Willow looked up from what she had been reading surprised.

"You've felt them too…" she asked. "For a while there I thought I was just getting sick or maybe ate something not so Willow friendly."

"We've all been feeling them Willow." The watcher said simply "The balances are truly fluxing." After getting a confused look from the red head he quickly explained, filling her in on the details and relaying what he and Lucinda had discussed concerning the rising darkness.

"So do we know what's causing it?" she asked worriedly after he had finished.

"We're not quite sure…" He said begging to feel the hair on his neck prickle as he felt the darkness swell again in the atmosphere. "But hopefully we'll be able to find something of use in here." He said indicating the books. "And soon. I myself have never felt the balances shift to this extent." Willow simply nodded and turned back to the book in her lap. "For now all we can do is hope to find some sort of explanation for all of this." With that said they both quickly submerged themselves into reading.

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"You know I looked for you when you left." Buffy said seriously as they continued down Restfield cemetery. Tara raised her brow at this. "Yearbook, phonebooks, missing people profiles. The whole nine yards."

"R-Really?" Tara asked surprised that Buffy would have looked around for her, but also knowing the slayer would never have found her. Lucinda and her mother had made sure of that. "D-Did you ever find anything?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"No! And that's what bothered me so much." Buffy said scanning the cemetery, "It was like you had disappeared off the face of the Earth," she shook her head. "I asked around of course but…well after realizing I didn't even have your name to go on I kind of lost hope." She sighed deeply "Then my mom was going through a divorce and my watcher was killed," Tara sucked in a breath "things just began to spiral out of control."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know." Tara said feeling for Buffy's loss.

"It's not your fault Tara." Buffy said stopping to look at the Wicca seriously. "It's just that shortly after you left, things kind of fell apart for me." She frowned feeling her senses pull her over to a new grave. She walked over to it and waited for the vampire to rise. Tara followed also feeling the slight tug. "By the time we moved to Sunnydale I just wanted to start over." She slammed the stake into the vampire as he rose up and motioned for her and Tara to keep going as he fell to ashes. "I even tried to deny the fact that I was the slayer." Buffy said lightly thinking about how naive she used to be. Tara grinned at the slayer.

"I-I take it that didn't work?" Buffy just laughed.

"Obviously." She said flatly. "And it was just my luck to land on a Hellmouth right?" she winked at the witch knowing that she had also sensed the other vampire approaching from behind. She whipped around catching the intruder off guard and quickly disposed of him.

"Fate works in strange ways." Tara said grinning at the Slayer's victorious smile. "At least that was what my mother always said."

"You don't say." Buffy said smiling than frowned as she felt a shiver run through her body, it didn't feel like a vamp and she couldn't get an exact location on it either. Tara looked behind them and whispered to Buffy.

"Do you get the feeling we're being followed?" Buffy looked at her seriously and gave a sharp nod.

"Let's keep going." She whispered back and smiled at Tara, not wanting whatever was out there to know that they were aware of their presence. At least not yet, she thought to herself. "About what you said concerning fate?" Buffy asked trying to get back on topic and discuss something that had been bothering her.

"Y-Yes?" Buffy looked at the ground avoiding curious blue eyes.

"When you showed up today, at first I couldn't help feeling that I didn't try hard enough to find you." She took a deep breath. "But now I wonder if maybe I wasn't supposed to?" she looked at Tara who was also frowning slightly. "I don't know maybe I'm just rambling here…" she died away starting feel a little self conscious.

"B-Buffy." When she knew she had the slayer's full attention she went on. "I know for a fact that had you not found me that night I probably wouldn't be here today." She smiled at the slayer. "And if that isn't fate I don't know what is." Buffy blushed at that. "As for you not finding me…let's just say my mother and Lucinda took care of that."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked causing Tara to sigh.

"T-The day after we met, the morning after you found m-me," she clarified. "My mother cast a temporary spell to make people forget that we had ever lived there. S-she had said it was past time for us to leave. After that she packed our things and left to find Lucinda." She let her hair fall in her face. "After we arrived at the Coven the first thing they did was cement the spell." She offered the Slayer a smile. "Had you even had known my name, I don't think you would have been able to find me. Let alone find someone to remember me or where I had been leaving to." Buffy looked at the blonde shocked.

"So that's why no one seemed to know who you were…"

"Well," Tara said, "and the fact that I wasn't exactly popular." She grinned at the slayer. "At least not like some people I know." Buffy glared at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Buffy said hoping that perhaps Tara hadn't really known what she was like at Hemery.

"Uh-huh?" Tara said just as sarcastic. "You're not the only one who had a yearbook you know. N-Now lets see," she held up her fingers ticking off what she knew. "F-First we have Cheerleading squad captain, Home Coming Court, student council, Gymnastics team, Debate team," Tara laughed at Buffy's reddening face, "Shall I go on?"

"Please don't." Buffy said quickly. "I try not to remember my air head days thank you, and work very hard to deny that I was ever that self involved whenever possible." Tara just chuckled. Then Buffy realized something.

"How did you know all those things about me if I didn't even know your name?"

"Buffy, everyone at Hemery new about you. Even when you were at your meanest they still worshiped the ground you walked on" Buffy cringed wishing Tara had never seen that side of her.

"God I hope you know I'm not still like that…" Tara nodded and touched Buffy's arm.

"I know you're not Buffy." Buffy shook her head confused.

"Until now I hadn't even thought you had gone to Hemery," she sighed "At least your picture wasn't in the yearbook." She looked at the ground. "How could I not have remembered you?"

"W-well for one I've never been one for picture day at school…and usually had to miss them anyway." She didn't want to get into why though. "And plus I was a grade ahead of you anyway and was more often than not at a different end of the school building. If you did see me it was more likely than not just in passing" She smiled at the Slayer. "Besides I told you about the spell. N-No one remembered me when I left, and I honestly doubt they would have remembered me anyway." Buffy raised her brow at that. "I-I more or less stayed to myself in school." Buffy thought over what Tara had said.

"If everyone else forgot about you…and I hardly even knew you…how come I was still able to remember?"

"I-I still have the tweedy-bird shirt you gave me." Tara said simply, making Buffy laugh.

"You're kidding right?" Tara shook her head no.

"L-Lucinda had directed us to burn everything that anybody had given to us or just simply l-leave it behind." Buffy looked at her confused. "It was part of the spell, anything someone had given as a gift would create a type of life line or connection to their memory."

"Oh." Buffy said understanding, then she looked at Tara quizzically, "So how come you didn't destroy it?" Tara looked down blushing deeply.

"Because it was yours." She said seriously not able to look at the Slayer. Buffy was more than a little taken back by the admittance and wasn't really sure what Tara had meant by it. Of course she knew what she wanted it to mean but she had no way of knowing. Quickly gathering as much courage as she could she pulled them to a stop.

"Tara…" Buffy began getting the Witches attention. "Um…what did you-" her thoughts were cut off as something materialized in front of her. The sight making her freeze in her tracks.

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Willow's eyes widened as she ran the words over in her mind again, not sure if she was reading it correctly. But as the words sunk in she looked at Giles, paling considerably, "Giles I think we should find Buffy." The older man looked up from the book he had been researching to see a pair of frightened green eyes staring at him

"What is it?" he asked as Willow pushed the book over to him. He quickly read over the page and felt his stomach drop. "Dear Lord."

Okay sorry for the delayed update and short chaps, but hey between school and whatnot it's been kind of tough. Thanks to all those who have reviewed and I am thoroughly looking forward to hearing what you think so far.


	7. the danger in past dealings

CHAPTER SEVEN: the danger in past dealings

Buffy stared in shock at the figure standing before her and unconsciously stepped in front of Tara. "What are you?" Buffy asked her voice trembling at the sight of her former watcher.

"I'm disappointed in you Buffy, have you forgotten everything I've taut you?" The figure asked in broken English.

"B-Buffy?" Tara asked not seeing anyone but feeling a large collaboration of power rising around them. "Buffy what is it?"

"Tara, stay behind me." Buffy whispered stepping forward. She tensed as the figure stroked his goatee in thought. A move she was all too familiar with. The figure grinned as Buffy paled.

"I-I don't see anything." Tara said again, looking around frantically for the source of the power.

"Protecting your friend I see," he sighed then narrowed in on Tara. "I'm disappointed, I had hoped you would have taken my teachings more seriously." Buffy snarled her lip as the figure approached her and Tara. "Bringing the innocents into the slaughter?" he frowned "It's a shame really" He eyed Tara up and down. "And such a pretty little creature, it's almost a shame to have to kill her..." he shrugged. "Well almost."

"I don't know what you are." Buffy said flatly regaining her composure and allowing the anger she was feeling to flow freely. "But what I do know is one, you are not Merrick and two you will not touch her."

"Tsk, tsk." He chided circling the two. "I always knew you were a little on the slow side." He said turning his attention to Buffy. "And to be quite honest after I kill you I will do as I please," Buffy growled.

"Big talk for someone who is dead." Buffy snarled as she took a defensive position and began to circle with the image of her dead watcher.

"Ahhh…of course," the man said lightly and winked. "And you know all about death don't you Buffy?" Buffy winced and froze as it felt like something was slammed into her. "You killed me…or don't you remember." Without warning the memory of his death began to unfold.

The scene began out fuzzy but quickly cleared as everything took form. At first came the feelings, the same feelings she had felt all those years ago. Then the sights, as things began to materialize, then the sounds. Sounds of a broken carousel in the background and her own thundering heartbeat. And finally the smell of blood, his blood of him dieing. She closed her eyes trying to block it out but it was useless. She was powerless to watch as the scene played out, watch again as the vampire slammed a stake into her watcher's chest.

"Buffy!" Tara stepped forward wrapping her arms around Buffy as the slayer's legs began to buckle. She grabbed hold of her more tightly as the far away look on Buffy's face began to deepen and her body went lax. "Buffy!...Buffy!" Thinking quickly she tried casting a barrier spell to help Buffy get a head start on whatever this thing was, help her get hold. But as she felt the spell dissipate into nothingness she was forced to think of another option.

His voice lightened a note and his figure changed to that of a woman. "And me Buffy." Buffy opened her eyes to see Kendra standing in place of her former watcher. "You let them kill me." Another memory buzzed through her mind. A scene she had not witnessed. This time she watched as the former slayer was ambushed within the old Library while she had gone looking for Angelus. "You killed me Buffy." She said simply, calmly. Buffy cringed as she witnessed the brief fight before seeing the light drain out of the dark warrior's eyes as her life was taken by Drusilla. The voice shifted again this time an octave higher.

"And me Buffy." She cringed as she heard the echoing sound of a neck being snapped.

"Ms. Calendar…" the slayer barely choked out. The image of Giles's girlfriend killed off at the hands of Angel being all too clear. The chase, her running down the hall, and him breaking her neck like it was nothing.

"Had you not been so foolish with your feelings it would have never have ended like this for me." The teacher spoke calmly. "Mr. Giles and I could be happily married right now. If you had only listened." Buffy crumpled down to her knees head in her hands crying as Tara was no longer able to hold her up.

"B-Buffy, listen to me!" Tara said not sure what was going on but trying to get through to the slayer "We need to get out of here." She lifted the slayer to a standing position again and stood in front of her touching her face. "I d-don't know what you're seeing. B-But I can feel it. And it's strong." She shook Buffy as the slayer continued to stare horrified at something she couldn't see. When she still got no response she grabbed the slayers face forcing her to look at her. "Please, Buffy…" Tara said trying to get through. "You need to fight this thing. Whatever it is, it's just trying to mess with you." Buffy shook again violently causing Tara to wrap her arms around the slayer preventing her from falling down. "Buffy! Please try to fight this I need you to fight this." She said tears welling in her eyes. "Please Buffy…I need you…" she didn't know what else to do. She couldn't leave and wouldn't leave her there and magic was doing absolutely nothing. She had already tried a few other spells but they had all evaporated like the first. "Please." She whispered resting her forehead against the slayer's. "Please Buffy!"

"T-Tara…" Buffy said, the woman's voice finally breaking through the horrors of the past. She shook her head trying to ignore the haunting figure in the background of the schools councilor Mr. Platt. The only teacher she had ever really admired. She tried not to shudder as his throat was ripped out. "H-How does it know all these things?" Tara pulled her into a firm hug trying to sooth the slayers shudders and prevent her from falling away again.

"I d-don't know how Buffy." She sighed, "But we'll figure it out alright. It just r-right now we need to get out of here…" Tara said firmly feeling the darkness rising to an all time high. Buffy nodded, tears streaming down her face freely as she closed her eyes desperately trying to block out the crescendo of cries from all the people she was unable to save and focus on the comforting voice trying to keep her grounded.

"P-Please Tara I-I…" Buffy began to struggle again over the static and squeezed her eyes shut trying to stay balanced. "I-I-I…" she tried to focus on Tara's encouraging words then stopped, as all but one of the haunting voices plaguing her ceased. The one that remained rang true and cut Buffy to the quick.

"You deserve to die." Buffy's eyes shot open at hearing the foreign sound of her own voice. "I mean haven't you caused enough pain already?" Tara tightened her hold on Buffy feeling her stiffen considerably. Buffy watched in horror and mentally fell away again as the mirror image of herself paced before her eyes. The figure as she watched on she noticed was a few years younger though. Her legs weakend again as she saw that the figure was holding the same sword she had slammed through Angel's stomach two years ago. The same sword that she had damned him to hell with. "Really you would think by now you would have just given up?" with slow purposeful strides the figure was moving closer to where they stood. "All those people dead because of you." The figure laughed as Buffy was unable to speak. "Wow, all that guilt must really just eat you up inside huh?" the cries and voices started up again.

"Shut up!" she screamed not able to stand it anymore. "Shut up, shut up shut up!" she covered her ears.

"That's not going to save you." The voices said inside of Buffy's head in unison. "Nothing's going to save you." It smiled. "Not from yourself at least." The figure made a few slashing motions "Hmmm…" it glanced back to Buffy and laughed. "I wonder how that had to feel?" the lone voice said twirling the sword a few times testing the weight. "Being cut down like a piece of meat." Buffy cringed as the memory of sending Angelus…no, Angel to hell resurfaced in detail. The figure ran a finger down the edge of the blade and slit her finger on the tip. She smiled at Buffy as the blood began to pool. "Bet it felt good…" Buffy watched unable to speak as the wound healed almost instantly. The figure looked down at the unmarred flesh of her hand. "Though it's kind of hard to tell." The figure turned to lock identical hazel eyes with Buffy's "good thing there's a way to test the theory huh?" Buffy's eyes widened as the figure drew the sword back, waste level.

"Buffy try to stay with me here." Tara said knowing that she was loosing the slayer again. Buffy, snapping back turned her attention back to the Wicca who was still supporting her. That's when she realized Tara was still holding her up her head turned to the carbon copy from hell and unaware of the blade inches from her back. Without thinking she shoved Tara to the ground and out of the way just as the sword plunged into her own stomach. Her voice was momentarily stolen as the cold metal passed through her flesh.

"T-Tara…" Buffy gasped feeling as the wound bled down her shirt and onto the ground but not seeing any sign of the sword. Instinctively she glanced around for any sign of the haunting figure while she put pressure to the opening where the sword had embedded itself within her. Satisfied that whatever it was had gone and not feeling anything nearby to threaten Tara she allowed the darkness to overcome her and she hit the ground loosing consciousness.

Tara looked up surprised at the force in which Buffy had shoved her down then up to Buffy. What she saw made her freeze. Buffy stood there blood running down her shirt. She glanced her way once then fell to the ground.

"Buffy!" Tara screamed finding her voice. She scrambled over to where the slayer had fallen and turned her over. There was so much blood it was already beginning to trickle on the ground. "Buffy…" Tara sputtered as she put her hand over the wound trying to slow the flow. It wasn't helping. She closed her eyes a spell coming to mind. "_Concealatorund" _she whispered between shaking breaths. She opened her eyes and watched as small wisps of blue light left her hand and traced the wound. She breathed in relief as the blood flow ceased. Sighing she touched her hand to Buffy's head where a thin sheet of cold sweat was beginning to accumulate, "Hold on sweetie." She said grabbing hold of the Slayer's hands. "We need to get you out of here." Taking a deep breath she forced herself to calm down and prayed for the spell she was about to perform to also work. She closed her eyes and began to chant tears running down her face.

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"Shouldn't they be back already?" Willow asked beginning to grow worried. "And if what that book said was true…"

"Willow try to stay calm." The watcher said quickly as he waited for the line to connect to L.A. "As for Buffy…" the line connected. "Lucinda hello it's Giles." The watcher said into the phone.

"Hello, well that was fast, what is it?" the older woman said lightly.

"Yes well I think I may have found something." He reached for the book. "Um… I came across something in one of the Books you had sent me and it's a bit worrisome." He paused. "I was hoping perhaps you could clarify the meaning…" he proceeded to read the entry. When he had finished the line was silent for a while.

"Giles, where are Buffy and Tara?" the woman asked seriously. Giles frowned.

"At the moment on patrol why?" he asked. "Do you think they are in trouble?"

"I don't know, perhaps it's nothing…" she shivered getting a sickening feeling. "But I have a feeling…."

"GILES!" Willow screeched pulling the Watcher from his conversation. Giles quickly looked over to what Willow was staring at. On the table lay a bloodied version of Buffy and Tara.

"Good lord!" He sucked in a breath. "Lucinda let me call you back." Giles said hanging up the phone and hurried around the counter. "What happened!?" he said to Willow as he examined first Tara then Buffy. Both girls out cold but still alive.

"I-I don't know" the red head said tears starting to well in her eyes at the sight of her best friend. "I turned around and they were just laying on the table…and the blood…Giles there is so much blood."

"Yes Willow I know." He said frantically, checking Tara over for any signs of wounds. Not seeing any he set Tara down gently and moved to Buffy, lifting her shirt up to where the majority of blood seemed to be present. "Willow bring me the first aid kit immediately!" He could feel his throat tighten as he observed the damage. The incision was deep and cut all the way through, he could tell Tara must have done something to help the healing process along but it needed to be stitched. He looked over at Tara thanking whatever gods had sent her. With a wound like this, had she not been there, Buffy would have died. That he didn't doubt.

"Here." Willow said handing him the first aid. He took it and pulled out the antiseptic. "Is there anything I can do?" Willow asked regaining some of her composure reminding herself that this isn't the first time she had seen Buffy hurt.

"Make sure Tara is okay." He said beginning to wipe away some of the dried blood and applying aneceptic to the wound. "I think she probably used up whatever strength she had left teleporting them back here and is just exhausted but check just the same. With all the blood it was hard to tell." He said while turning Buffy over to clean the other side of the incision. Willow nodded and began to check Tara over. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary she turned back to Giles.

"No she seems to be okay aside from being out." She paused not sure if she wanted to know the answer. "Giles…is Buffy going to be okay?" Giles looked at the red head pain written across his features.

"At the moment it's hard to tell, she's lost a lot of blood." He pulled a needle and thread out from the box. "Thankfully the wound seemed to have missed all of Buffy's main organs. But the quicker we get her stitched the better off she is going to be." He made quick work of threading the needle and looked back up at Willow. "Call Joyce and tell her what has happened." He said knowing the older Summers would want to know what is happening. "Ask her if she'll be able to come pick Buffy up to take home and if perhaps Tara can maybe stay with her as well." He said preparing to push the needle through Buffy's skin and draw the two sides together. "I don't know where Tara is staying and she'd probably feel more comfortable if she woke up in the presence of someone she knew." Willow nodded her head understanding and went to make the call.

Okay chapter seven is up. Feedback is always motivational. Don't be shy. You know you want to, and besides I'm not getting paid for this ya know.


	8. friends are ever helpful

CHAPTER EIIGHT: friends are ever helpful

Joyce rushed into the Magic Box a coat over her nightgown. When she saw Buffy sprawled out on the table covered in blood her breath caught.

"Oh my god." She turned to Giles. "What happened?" she quickly set her purse on the ground and moved over to Buffy. Giles rubbed his neck and set his cup of tea on the counter feeling his back tighten slightly.

"We're not exactly sure really, though we have suspicions it may have been caused by something called the First or something similar to it." Joyce nodded on auto pilot and ran a hand through Buffy's hair. Frowning as she felt the intense heat of a fever coming on.

"Giles she's running a fever…do you have a…" Joyce looked around the room frantically for something to cool her down with. Giles looked down at the slayer and frowned. She was beginning to look very clammy.

"Willow could you bring a cold rag over here?" He called out to the red head. "Her fever is rising." Willow nodded and scurried to the back of the store to fill a basin of water up.

"Thank you." Joyce said going back to running her hands through her daughter's hair. Giles nodded.

"Shouldn't we take her to a hospital or something?" Willow asked as she handed Giles the rag. Both Giles and Joyce shook their heads no.

"No at this point she would be better off with us instead of the hospital, plus there isn't much they could do for her." He handed the rag to Joyce who applied it to Buffy's head. "We've already stitched her up, and it looks like she'll be fine after the fever breaks. So there is really no point in it at this moment in time." Joyce released the heavy breath she hadn't known she had been holding. She had been afraid to ask, though now that she examined Buffy a little more closely she could tell that most of the blood seemed to be old.

"Besides." She said to no one in particular. "Buffy hates hospitals. She made me promise never to send her to another one. Not after that whole fever incident." Willow nodded remembering how Buffy had to fall into a deep fever in order to kill a demon who had been attacking the children in Sunnydale hospitals.

"Yeah well after that who could blame her?" Willow added thinking back to Buffy's high school days than shrugged. "I haven't been to keen on the pharmaceuticals Sunnydale has to offer after that either." She grabbed a few of the books that had been tossed to the floor and put them on the counter to go through later.

"Indeed." Giles said knowing the Slayer had avoided hospitals at all costs after that. "I would imagine she wouldn't have been terribly happy waking up there." Joyce smiled a little and nodded.

"I'm just glad she was able to make it back here and is going to be okay." Joyce said dipping the rag in the water again since it had begun to get warm.

"Well she definitely came close this time." He said lifting Buffy's shirt just slightly so Joyce could see the stitches. She put a hand to her mouth in surprise.

"And she walked back here?" Joyce asked not knowing how Buffy would have been able to walk with a wound that severe.

"No not exactly." Giles said turning his attention to Tara. Joyce followed his line of vision. "If I'm correct I think Tara may have teleported them here."

"Yeah." Willow said nodding her head. "It was like one second they were gone and the next BAM they were on the table." She shook her head. "She is extremely powerful. I couldn't teleport if my life depended on it. Plus she did it with a counterpart over a pretty good distance. That in itself is major."

"Teleported?" the older Summers said surprised and looking at the taller blonde in a new light. "I think I'm beginning to like this girl more and more." Giles raised his brow.

"Pardon?" Joyce blushed and shook her head.

"Buffy had mentioned the young witch earlier when she had come home to change." She shrugged not about to go into details but seeing what her daughter had seen in the woman, she was beautiful. "And from what I heard she sounded like she would be of help." She finished lamely.

"Giles's, do you mind if I make a call?" Willow asked. The watcher shook his head no and motioned for her to go ahead. "Thanks."

"Well I think it's fair to say that this young lady saved Buffy's life tonight." Joyce just lowered her head already knowing he was right judging by the wound. And also knowing that she would forever be in debt to this young lady.

"Willow said something about Tara needing a place to stay over the phone?" She asked remembering the call that had woke her from her slumber. "Speaking of which, is she alright?" she said referring to the witch who also seemed to be asleep.

"Yes she seems to be fine, I think she's just worn out from the spell." Joyce smiled slightly at the younger woman sending her thanks. "I think she mentioned something about staying on Campus but I wouldn't have a clue as to where, and thought it would be easier if perhaps she stayed with you for the night." He glanced at the clock and rubbed his eyes. It was already past one in the morning. "If it would be easier I could take her to my apartment but I thought she would be more comfortable waking up with someone she knew better." He said offering the older Summers a second option.

"No Giles it isn't a problem." She didn't miss his glance at the clock. "Perhaps we should get these two home. It is rather late."

"I think that may be a good idea." He said standing then winced as his back caught.

"Are you alright?" Joyce asked seeing the look of pain cross the older man's face. He waved a hand at her.

"Yes I'm fine. I pulled my back earlier is all and I think I've over worked it too soon." He gritted his teeth and attempted to straighten. Joyce offered him a hand.

"Willow if you need a ride home I can drive you." Joyce said as the red head walked back into the room.

"No thank you. Oz should be here soon, I just called him a little while ago and he said he was on his way…" as if on cue the young guitarist walked in. Giles and Joyce both said hello to the quite boy, he nodded his reply then frowned as he caught sight of Buffy. "She's going to be okay." Willow said reading her boyfriends thoughts. "Joyce's going to take them both to her house for the night." He raised his brow at this. "Tara, the sorceress I told you about." Willow explained. He glanced at Giles who was leaning over again in pain.

"Do you need help getting them into the car?" He asked concerned. Giles looked at the young man surprised. Usually Oz was quite stoic and all together mute.

"Yes that would be lovely, thank you Oz." The guitarist shrugged saying in his own way that it wasn't a big deal. Willow beamed at her boyfriend and squeezed his hand. He smiled at his girlfriend then moved to where Buffy was lying. It was the least he could do.

"Oz do you think you could follow us to the house in your van and help get them into the house as well." Joyce asked. He nodded again as he picked the slayer up. "Thanks that would be a great help to me." Joyce said leading them out to where her Jeep was parked. There was no way she would be able to carry them up the stairs by herself. When Buffy was situated in the back seat they gathered Tara and put her in the car also. After she was sure that each girl was fastened in securely she headed back into the shop and gathered her purse. "Thank you again Giles." She said as the man moved to hand her her purse.

"Your welcome my dear. I'll call in the morning to see how they are doing." Joyce smiled her thanks taking her bag and wished him a goodnight before leaving. Giles watched her leave then moved to the phone to call Lucinda.

The group pulled up to Buffy's house and made quick work of getting the two inside and into where they would be sleeping. When they had finished Oz left and waited out in his van while Joyce and Willow worked to get Buffy out of her bloodstained cloths and into a T-shirt and shorts. And after tucking Tara into the spare bedroom and doing the same the two moved outside.

"Have Buffy call me when she gets up." Willow said after they had both girls tucked

away inside the house.

"I will and tell Oz I said thank you again for all his help." Joyce said thankful that the young man had shown up when he had.

"I will, though I don't really think he minded all that much. He's usually happy to help." Joyce smiled at the girl and gave her a hug.

"Just the same tell him. And you two be careful on the way home alright." Willow smiled into the hug and returned it.

"We will. Goodnight Joyce." She said making her way to her boyfriend's van. Joyce waved the two off than headed inside to get some much needed sleep.

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Later that nigh Tara woke with a start. She glanced around the unfamiliar room than down at herself. She was clad in a pair of sweat pants and a Bugs Bunny t-shirt. She smiled sensing the slayer in the fabric and throughout the house. She looked around the room her eyes adjusting to the dim light and frowned as she spotted her cloths from earlier folded and bloodied.

"Buffy." She said to herself remembering what had happened earlier that night and shivered. "Where are you?" She said to the empty room and stood sensing the slayer nearby and needing to know she was okay. "_Aradis, hear my words"_ she whispered into the dim room and smiled as the little firefly like creature began to glow, lighting the room with its pale blue light. "Lead me to Buffy." She said to the creature. The creature buzzed for a few minutes as Tara tried to picture Buffy the best she could hoping to give the spell a little more incentive. After a few minutes the little ball of light began to move.

Tara followed as it led her out of her room and into the hall. She closed the door behind her and continued to follow the creature as it bounced down the narrow hallway looking for the Slayer. She followed the creature until it stopped abruptly then began to buzz again outside of door at the end of the hallway. She looked at what it had found and smiled as she was able to read the illuminated metal plate that read 'BUFFY' hanging outside the door. "Thank you." Tara said to the little creature than whispering a few words dispersing the spell. As the nymph completely disappeared she took a deep breath then slowly, cautiously opened the door and peeked in. What she saw made her gasp. Buffy lay there motionless, the moon accentuating her features and almost setting her pale skin aglow. She released a shallow breath and let herself into the room praying Buffy didn't wake up and catch her staring at her like some stalker idiot. That's the last thing she wanted her to think.

She was just coming to see how she was doing, but seeing her lying there, looking so at peace. All she wanted to do, if she was being honest with herself, was curl up next to her and follow her into sleep. She shook her head trying to rid the thoughts from her head, she didn't even know if Buffy felt that way about her. Sighing she kneeled by the bed and examined the Slayer a little more closely. Saw for the first time the tiny scar she had by her eyebrow, the few freckles she had across her face. Everything about the girl before her was beautiful she thought.

Then without thinking she touched her hand to the Slayer's face and smiled feeling the slight warm buzz that passed there, it gave her chills but in a good way. Deciding she should probably go before the Slayer woke up she began to stand and moved to leave when suddenly Buffy reached out and grabbed her hand.

"T-Tara?" Buffy said catching the witch off guard. Tara stiffened for a second at the quick action then turned bright red knowing full well she had been caught.

"S-s-sorry…"she whispered, "I-I just wanted to m-make sure you were ok is all." She tried to look away from the Slayer. "I-I'll leave." She moved to leave but Buffy hadn't loosened her hold on her hand.

"Stay?" Buffy asked not really wanting to be alone and also not wanting Tara to leave. Tara looked at her confused. "Please?" she asked again feeling comforted just by the warmth passing through their hands. Seeing the pleading in the Slayer's eyes made the decision for her.

"O-Okay…" she said smiling down at the slayer. Buffy smiled back and slowly scootched down to make room, never once letting go of the witch's hand.

"Thank you." Buffy whispered as Tara crawled under the covers and adjusted herself so she was facing the Slayer. Tara was too dumb struck with the notion that she was in Buffy's bed. And more importantly that Buffy had suggested her being there to say anything. So instead she just nodded hoping she wasn't blushing too terribly. "Goodnight Tara."

"G-Good n-night Buffy." She said watching as the Slayer began to dose off then slowly after she knew the Slayer was asleep followed her into slumber.

Thanks for all the reviews guys. And I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far!!!! And hey if you keep giving me such nice reviews I might acctaully finish this little tid bit.


	9. Conspiracies within

CHAPTER NINE: Conspiracies within

Tara awoke to the sound of whimpering. She instantly turned to Buffy whose eyes were clenched shut a thin layer of sweat lining her brow. "B-Buffy." She whispered trying to get the slayer's attention. "Buffy." She glanced at the clock that read five am then down to where Buffy was holding her stomach and noticed blood beginning to pool. "Ohh Goddess. JOYCE!!!!" she yelled crouching down next to the slayer and adding additional pressure against the now bleeding wound. She attempted a healing spell but it just faded into nothing she couldn't focus and felt drained. Tears began to prick her eyes. "B-Buffy!"

"T-Tara…?" Buffy's eyes opened weekly while blood began to trickle out of her nose.

"W-what's happening to you?" Tara asked trying to hold back her tears as Buffy lurched crying out. She attempted the healing spell again with the same results. "JOYCE!!!" she screamed out again pulling the slayer into her lap.

"What is it?" Joyce asked rushing into the room. When she saw her daughter curled into a fetal position saturating the sheets with blood her stomach lurched. "What's happening?!!!"

"I-I don't know! She j-just started bleeding…and I-I can't h-help her…" Tara said, now freely sobbing.

"G-Get Giles…." Buffy choked out between gasps.

Joyce just nodded blankly and ran out of the room and down the steps. As she reached for the phone the doorbell rang. "It Giles! Is anyone there?" he rang the doorbell again. Joyce quickly put the phone back on the hook and darted to the door.

"Giles!" she said opening the door her relief barely masking the fear written on her face. "She-she…"

"Is Buffy alright?" he asked hurriedly.

"No!" she bellowed finding her voice "She just started bleeding and is shaking and was asking for you and I think she's dieing…" Joyce began to shake. Giles set the bag he had in his hand on the table and grabbed her shoulders firmly.

"Where is she?" he almost screamed, terrified knowing the slayer's time was limited if they didn't act quickly.

"She's upstairs with Tara." Without a word Giles grabbed the bag and ran up the steps two at a time. He could have no idea how much time he had lost already.

"Tara?" he called out. An answering sob resonated from one of the first rooms on the left. When he entered the room he was caught off guard. The blood was sliding down Buffy's face and Tara was covered.

"G-G-Giles…."Buffy stammered. Tara looked up from where she was holding onto the Slayer.

"What's happening to her!!" she screamed between sobs. "She was fine!!!" he looked at her squarely.

"I'll explain it later but right now I need your help." Tara nodded blankly, watching as he set three candles in the shape of a triangle on the floor.

"W-What are you going to d-do?"

"There is no time! I need you to set Buffy on the ground, to where her head is lying between the candles." She quickly did as was told watching helplessly as Buffy's body twitched on its own accord. After lighting the candles he handed Tara a piece of paper.

"W-What is this??" she asked not recognizing the spell.

"It's a Disintaglement spell, similar to an Extrication but only temporay. It would seem that whatever attacked her earlier is harvesting itself within her and trying to kill the Slayer's essence form the inside. We need to disengage the Slayer's hold." Tara wiped at her eyes quickly trying to follow. "On my count I need you to start reading this." He handed her a piece of paper that looked to be torn out of a book.

"Aren't Disentanglements dangerous...I m-mean" He looked at Tara seriously.

"If we don't do this she will die." Understanding the severity of the moment she nodded her understanding and began to prepare.

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Buffy's eyes blinked open tiredly. She couldn't remember ever feeling so tired or sore in her life. Slowly she moved to a sitting position.

"Your awake." Giles said awakened by the sound of her movement. "Thank God." He set down the book he had been reading and adjusted his glasses. "How do you feel?" she yawned looking around the room it must have been around noon.

"Tired. Where's Tara?" she asked sensing that she wasn't in the house, but knowing she couldn't have been gone that long.

"Buffy we have a problem." He started beginning to stand. Buffy paled then sat up straighter.

"Giles? Where is Tara?" she asked again. "Is she okay?" she said getting worried.

"Yes, yes she's fine." He rubbed his brow. "Scared out of her wits for you but she is fine." He sighed. "She's hardly left your side since you've been out."

"What do you mean since I've been out?" she asked starting to get scared. "What's going on?!!" He pulled off his glasses and started cleaning them.

"Buffy I don't know how to say this, but you've been in and out for the last day or so." He took off his glasses. "Whatever that thing was that attacked you…it's done something that even I don't know how to handle."

"GILES! What is going on." She yelled getting frustrated.

"It's hard Buffy!" he said almost choking up himself.

"I need to know what is going on." He looked away. "And I want the truth."

"There is a war going on inside of you Buffy." He said forcefully..

"What?" she said that being the last thing she would have thought to come out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"The slayer is an immortal being that chooses a host. It collaborates the soul of a host with its own." He said quickly. "Sometimes sharing insight and history that usually aspire as dreams or visions. This knowledge or strength is protected by the host and the Slayer uses the host to fulfill destiny and keep the balance between good and evil." He sighed. "But whatever attacked you has been able to tap into the Slayer and has targeted its very essence."

"I don't understand...the other night…" she grimaced thinking about the pain. "But I feel fine."

"We've been able to contain it so it is no longer affecting your health physically…but the battle is still raging." Buffy shook her head.

"But what does it all mean. I understand that the slayer and all the pasts slayers are connected with me, and I understand the sharing of the histories, but what exactly are you saying."

"What I'm saying Buffy is, something has been able to get through to the Slayer side of you, it shouldn't have but it did. It has been able to get through to the Slayer and is waging a war against her. And because her essence was coiled as one with your own the physical implications were rising and becoming present in the slayer's host."

"You mean this?" she touched the freshly stitched flesh beneath her shirt.

"Yes, when the wound you endured opened a new it refused to heal. Your strength has dissipated and will continue to do so. Initially whatever we are dealing with was and still is killing you from the inside out." Buffy just stared too shocked to reply. He turned to finally look at her. "Buffy…"

"Are you saying I'm dieing?" she barely whispered.

"Not exactly, no. Tara and I both performed a spell to hold the external damage at bay. And temporarily disable the Slayers hold upon you. You won't suffer from it, but along with doing that, your speed, strength, and power have also been lowered drastically and will continue to decrease with time. But the spell is only temporary, the war is still raging within you."

"Giles…How do I fight something inside of me?" the watcher shook his head solemnly.

"I really don't know Buffy." He sighed. "Things like this the Slayer usually is able to fight off on her own without the host being aware...perhaps something is broken between the two of you…making it impossible for you to combat this and allowing whatever this entity is to continue inside of you. But until we learn more about it we have no way of knowing"

"So we just need to fix something that's all?" she asked confused.

"Initially yes if you want to put it that way…but it's not that simple." Buffy nodded to herself affirmatively.

"So what do you suggest?" she said feeling detached from the whole situation.

"Pardon." Giles said shocked at how well his slayer seemed to be taking this. She rolled her eyes at him.

"If I can't fight than I'm an open target and so are all of you." She said simply "I'm putting us all in danger. Not to mention Tara just being here…" her head perked up. "Giles where is Tara?"

"We realized the danger in having a disabled slayer on the Hellmouth and think that it would be best if we start the cleansing rituals in L.A. at Lucinda's Coven."

"Cleansing rituals?"

"We need to find out why the slayer was unable to defend herself against this and fix whatever gap there is…if there is one." She stood on shaky legs. "And hopefully find something that can help us prepare ourselves for what is to come."

"So your saying there is a way to fix this or might be a way?" she said clinging to the possibility.

"Yes there is a chance." your mom is gathering some last minute items and Tara is packing her bags as we speak." Buffy's eyes lit up.

"Tara's going to be coming?" Giles scoffed at that then grinned never having imagined Tara being angry.

"She wouldn't have had it any other way." He put his glasses back on his face. "She actually put up quite a fight when I suggested that perhaps she should stay on the Hellmouth…"

"You did what?" Buffy said twisting on him. "why would you go and do something like that?" Giles raised his brow at Buffy and just shook his head not really knowing how to take that.

"I was simply giving her the option Buffy that's all." Then something occurred to her.

"Well who's gonna be here?" Buffy asked indicating the Hellmouth. "We can't just leave it when things are becoming so chaotic. That's probably what this thing wants us to do."

"I have already contacted Faith and explained the situation. She said she'll be in touch and will be catching the first flight in." Buffy sighed in contemplation, she trusted Faith with her life and knew she would take care of things, she just hoped she would be able to do the same, hoped she would beat this thing.

"Well that's a relief." Both their heads turned as Joyce and Tara stepped into the house chatting casually. Tara spotted Buffy first and froze. "Tara?" Hearing her daughter's voice caught Joyce's attention.

"Buffy you're awake…"she looked back to where Tara had been standing "Tara Buffy's…up?" That's when she realized Tara must have already known because the young Wicca was already halfway across the living room floor. Joyce just shrugged at Giles's look of bewilderment.

"Y-You're here right?" Tara said touching the slayer's face, the tears she had been holding back for almost two days coming to a rise. "I-I'ts you right?" Buffy nodded quickly grasping the Wicca's hands. "I-I thought I was g-going to loose you…" Without thinking she pulled her to her. Needing to feel the security of being near her because if she wanted to admit it or not she was so much more frightened right now than she would ever let on.

Okay well this is what I got and I know I haven't updated in ages (a month) but I've been crazy busy with the enemy aka (life)…now I know this chap may seem sketchy but I promise it will work out in the end. It all comes together. As always thank you everyone who has reviewed! Especially people like shadow high angel, and stama I hope I didn't disappoint you. Lovings coming soon…P.S. "squid-ward" ILU!"

7


	10. A safe haven

CHAPTER TEN: a safe haven

Buffy looked solemnly out the window as they passed out of Sunnydale. She had made quick work of packing her bags trying to drive out the fear that was shaking her core. Xander and Willow had been given a dilute version of what was happening and the two had eagerly offered to house sit until they returned. She had tried to act casually in front of them, as if it was no big deal, 'just a little glitch in the Slaying system' she had said. But when she sat in the car after hugging her two long time friends, her brave façade fled.

"So what you're saying is there is an entity trying to destroy the Slayer that lives in Buffy's body?" The older Summers asked as they pulled out of Sunnydale "Am I getting this right?" Giles nodded adjusting his seat belt not used to riding in the passenger seat.

"In truth yes. But the reason for why it is happening is much more complex." He glanced at Tara who was watching Buffy intently. "This is something that usually the Slayer fights off on her own accord the host not even aware of its happening."

"Really?" Joyce asked in surprise. "then how come…Giles what's the exit ramp again?..." Buffy let their voices drown out. She just couldn't handle it anymore. They had discussed and questioned it for hours already and always wound up at the same place. 'Why'. She just couldn't deal with it. Couldn't deal with the fact that everyone acted as it was all going to be okay. But how could it. How was she supposed to fight something inside of her? How? Everyone was so used to her having all the answers, waiting for her to save the day. Everyone just expected it. Everyone.

She felt eyes boring into the back of her head and turned to lock hazel eyes with blue. No…she took that back not everyone. She could since the fear and worry in the blue eyes that seemed to pull her in. The truth and severity of the situation she felt was shined back at her. No not everyone. Not everyone just assumed she was okay. Tara knew…knew the isolation she felt, knew she had been putting up a front so they wouldn't worry, knew she was scared. Those blue eyes could see it all and offered a silent promise. She would be there for whatever was to come, wouldn't just pretend everything was okay because it was easier. Wouldn't just expect her to be strong just because she was the slayer, wouldn't let her suffer alone. She offered the Wicca a sad smile. If she was honest Tara was the only thing keeping her grounded when everything else seemed to be falling apart. She felt a warm hand interlock with her own and that familiar warm buzz pass between them, calming her. She squeezed back resting her head back on the seat content with just staring into the eyes that seemed to know her soul, to understand.

Tara watched as the slayer seemed to calm slightly and relaxed some herself. She couldn't imagine what she must be going through but when she saw Buffy act as if she was okay and as if nothing was wrong in front of Xander and Willow her heart broke. She knew Buffy felt as if she had to save everyone, like the world was her responsibility alone. But it wasn't. She frowned watching as Buffy started to dose. This really must be taking a lot out of her she thought watching as some of the strain seemed to lessen on the Slayer's features. Quickly adjusting herself to a more comfortable position. She tugged gently on the hand that still held hers motioning for Buffy to lie down. Buffy not about to argue let Tara lead her down. Tara sighed as Buffy relaxed against her lap and began running her fingers through the slayer's hair. She smiled sensing Buffy's aura soften.

"Thank you." Buffy mumbled wrapping her arms around Tara's legs soaking in the comforting warmth emanating from the witch.

"Shhhh…" Tara whispered running her free hand in slow circles around the slayer's back. "Sleep." Buffy just nodded and allowed herself to succumb to the exhaustion that seemed to overtake her.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Tara touched Buffy's cheek gently with her hand as they pulled into the winding dirt driveway. Not really wanting to wake the peaceful girl resting in her arms.

"Wow." Joyce said looking out at the expanse of gardens they were passing through. "This place is magnificent." She said in almost a state of aw.

"Ah, just another one of Lucinda's hobby's." Giles looked around at the spread of floras and vegetables. "Though I must say she has greatly expanded since I was here last. But her real masterpiece is her house" Giles laughed "Just wait until you see the inside" Buffy stirred as the car came to a stop. She had been awake for about the last fifteen or so minutes but didn't want to give up her spot. But as the doors started opening she knew she was going to have to. Slowly sitting up she looked at Tara then smiled.

"H-How do you feel?" Tara asked noticing that Buffy wasn't looking so pale. Buffy smiled at her.

"Despite the situation I'm actually feeling pretty good." And she did. "I should sleep with you more often." Tara blushed deeply. "I mean 'on' you." Buffy corrected then wanted to smack herself. "Ummm...what I mean is." Tara started laughing as Buffy continued to stumbled over her words. she looked down at there still clasped hands. "Ahhhh…." Thankfully she was saved by her mom knocking on the door.

"Are you two gonna come out of there or what?" Buffy just groaned.

"We're coming." Buffy shouted then blushed. She looked back at a still laughing Tara. "Oh just laugh it up why don't you." Tara grinned at her then opened the door to get out. She couldn't explain how or why but she felt good. Really good. Sure she felt a little weaker than usual but something about the blonde Wicca, just being near her was calming. Shaking her head she got out of the Jeep and followed Tara around back to get their bags. When she got out of the car and looked around her mouth dropped. "Wow!" Tara looked at what Buffy was talking about and smiled. She handed the Slayer her bags then grabbed her own small duffle. Most of her things were still here as it was so she didn't bother to pack much.

"Impressive isn't it." Tara said noting Buffy's agape look at the landscape. Buffy just nodded blankly.

"Mom wasn't kidding." Tara quirked a brow at her, recalling Joyce's comment. "What?"

"I thought y-you were sleeping?" Tara said jokingly.

"Well…" Buffy shrugged knowing she had been busted, "I was _really_ comfortable." Tara blushed then let her hair fall in her face. "Hey now." Buffy said stepping closer pushing the hair away and tucking it behind the witch's ear. Tara locked eyes with Buffy her heart picking up at the small act of affection. Buffy let her hand linger near Tara's face stroking her hair softly. "Don't do that. I like it when you blush." She barely whispered out. "Please don't hide."

"B-Buffy I-I…." she took a breath not knowing how to say what she felt. Buffy's own heart beat began to speed up.

"Tara I think I…"

"TARA!" They both turned pulled out of the trance they had fallen into. Lucinda stood on the front porch grinning. She hated ruining the girl's moment but they had work to do. "I hope your not planning on staying out there all night, without even a hello." Tara shook her head catching Lucinda's meaningful look. She groaned trying to clear her thoughts then smiled at Buffy.

"Common Slayer lets get you situated before Lucinda has my hide." Buffy nodded quickly gathering the rest of their things then following Tara inside a grin on her face. Maybe she thought thinking about Tara. Just maybe.

"So this is the infamous Buffy?" Lucinda said offering out her hand having already met Joyce. "It is truly a pleasure to meet you." Buffy smiled at the older woman. "I've heard a lot about you." Buffy grimaced throwing a glance at Giles.

"Good things I hope?" Lucinda just grinned winking at Tara and Joyce. Buffy turned to look at Giles. "And what type of things have you been telling her if you don't mind me asking." Giles whipped off his glasses and pretended to be very absorbed in cleaning them. "I can't believe you…" she groaned putting her hands on her hips.

"She's just playing with you Buffy." Tara said lightly in her ear sending chills down the slayer's spine.

"Oh." Buffy said a little lost. Lucinda couldn't suppress her smirk. "Um yeah…" She looked back to Lucinda a blush creeping over her face. "Sorry what were you saying?" Even Joyce raised her brow at that. She had known her daughter had it bad. But this was really bad.

"Don't worry it was nothing important dear." Lucinda said leading the group further into the house and up a winding staircase. "First let's get you all situated in your rooms and then we'll get down to business." Buffy just nodded the feeling of Tara's breath on her ear still leaving her momentarily impaired. "Giles this will be your room." She motioned to one of the first rooms on the right. He opened the door and laughed.

"Well how very English, I see you haven't lost your touch." He said admiring the antiquity of the room. "Thank you Lucinda." Lucinda nodded knowing the room would suit his fancy. "We'll meet in the study after you finish unpacking. Giles's nodded setting his bag on the floor. She continued down the hallway a little further and stopped outside a large oak door.

"Joyce I hope this room suites your needs." She motioned for the older Summers to proceed into her room. "I don't know how long your stay will be so if for some reason you find this room does not suit your needs, feel no hesitation in saying so and we will search for another. Joyce hesitantly opened the door and gasped. The room was an ornate design of Indonesian art and decor.

"This is exquisite." She said eyeing some of the tapestries lining the walls. Dating them back to around the early fifteen hundreds.

"I take it then that it is to your liking." Joyce nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes very much so." Buffy glanced into the room and shook her head.

"Just out of curiosity," Lucinda turned her attention to the questioning Slayer. "Are all the rooms in this house…so…so."

"Unique?" Lucinda supplied.

"Yes and intricate?" The older woman just laughed causing Tara to smile.

"The majority of them are not and are occupied by other coven members, how they decor their cubicles is entirely up to them." She shrugged. "The ten guest rooms on this floor though are all very different though yes." Buffy's mouth dropped.

"How many rooms are there?" Joyce asked.

"Twenty-four." Lucinda supplied easily. "Not counting the Study, Dining room, Kitchen, Basement, Bathrooms, and a few others. By the way there is a bathroom at the end of each floor. But there will be more time for exploration later."

"Good heavens." Joyce said taking in the hallway and the winding staircase leading up to yet another floor. "This place is enormous, how do you do it."

"Oh don't give me so much credit, this is a community not just an extravagant house. I'm not alone in the upkeep trust me I'm too old" Joyce nodded setting her bag on her bed. "We'll leave you to unpack. When you have finished head to the Study. It's down the stairs and to the left. Giles should be there by the time you have finished.

"Thank you." Lucinda nodded and closed the door behind her. Tara smiled at Buffy's wide eyed expression.

"A-Are you really that surprised Buffy?" she asked. Buffy just looked at her as if she was speaking another language.

"To be honest yes and no. What I'm trying to wrap my head around is why you'd want to leave all this, "she motioned around their facility, "For some small hick town that is demon infested." Tara blushed not ready to answer that specific question. At least not yet. When they started moving up the staircase again Buffy froze. "Um I think we skipped my stop." Lucinda turned to look at her.

"And why would you think that." Buffy looked back down the hall to where her mom's room was then back to Lucinda.

"I thought this was where the guests were placed?" Lucinda winked.

"Yes but you my dear aren't just any guest." Buffy looked at her confused. "You're the Slayer, to anyone of Magical use you are Eternal and should be treated as so. You have always had a room here and always will." Buffy looked at her perplexed. "Many Slayer's have been to this place at some point in there life. Mostly for spiritually healing but I'm getting ahead of myself." Buffy looked at Tara questioningly and she just simply smiled. They started walking up the staircase again.

"Waite. So you mean I'm not the first Slayer to ever come here for help?"

"Of course not…but for the last forty or so years the council has neglected to inform the Slayer of this haven or of many of the others like this one spread out across the country. Why I'm unsure but I have my theories. Of course many of the other Covens have dispersed or spread themselves thin but there are a few still in existence." Lucinda sighed. "I'm sure this is a lot to take in. We'll have plenty of time to talk later. First and for most though we need to get everyone settled so we may begin to unravel the truth to what has happened." Buffy nodded her agreement barely able to take it all in. They passed another off ramp. "That hallway leads to Tara's room and my own along with a few other Coven Members. But this room. She motioned to the double door they were approaching at the end of the staircase "Is yours."

"But there isn't a hallway?" Buffy noticed.

"Trust me Buffy I'm aware." She stepped aside waiting for Buffy to open the door. Buffy raised her brow at Tara. Tara just stood waiting patiently. She herself had never seen the room.

"There isn't a handle." Buffy said looking at large doorway curiously.

"The door will open for no other than a Slayer and for myself." Lucinda explained." She chuckled as Buffy gaped at her without inhibition. "Go ahead Buffy." Hesitantly Buffy reached out to the door. She had all but touched it when the door began to open for her. "Of course." Lucinda added knowingly. "You are welcome to any of the other rooms if you choose." Buffy stepped into the room, feeling the essence of past slayers in the walls and the floors. The power of the room struck her before the rest of it set in. It was exotic and raw like small jolts of energy existed in the very air. It calmed and excited her at the same time. When she was able to look past the initial shock of the rooms feeling and actually saw the room she gasped. It took up the whole floor upper floor. The walls were lined with weapons dating back as far as she could imagine. There was a large fire place in the corner and torches lining the wall. A king sized bed set in the center of the room. Red drapes draped over as a canopy and draped around the lining and ceiling putting the room into a crimson glow and accented the room's wild feeling. She looked up and nearly fainted. The entire ceiling was made of glass and showed the skyline perfectly. She glanced down at her feet and realized she was standing on stone and as she looked closer she realized there was also grass peeking up between the seems. "Don't worry there isn't any bugs." Lucinda assured watching as Tara looked around just as spell bound. There was a Porcelain bathtub imbedded halfway into the floor that was large enough to hold seven people easily. In another corner there was a shelf covered in book after book. In the next corner was a large punching bag and what looked like an intense training area. Anything and everything she could think of was there.

"Goddess." Tara said looking up at the ceiling. "I've never seen anything like this." Buffy looked at her surprised, she would have thought Tara had known about this room.

"You didn't know?" Buffy asked turning in circles trying to take it all in.

"N-no…I've always wondered but could never have imagined this…"

"I don't know what to say." Buffy said seeing something new at every turn. "Words cannot express."

"It is beautiful isn't it?" Lucinda said also enchanted by the room's beauty.

"Why isn't this your room?" Buffy asked wondering why the woman would give her stay at such a place, admittedly feeling unworthy.

"This is a sacred ground for the Slayer. It was made to suite the needs of a Slayer. Each room in this house holds enchantment, molding itself to what is needed for the occupant. My room is suited for myself, as was Giles and your mother's. This is what the Slayer in you seeks and is what the room supplies. It wasn't created for me or for my ancestors. It was created for a Slayer and her alone." Tara nodded seeing the truth in Lucinda's words. As grandeur as the room truly was it would not suit her alone, it was meant for a Slayer. Buffy just nodded dropping her bag to the floor. "This will be your home for however long you choose to stay." Buffy turned to her tears in her eyes.

"I don't know what to say." Lucinda took her calloused weapon worn hands in her withered ones.

"Words aren't needed dear, just accept it as an offering. Despite what you have been taught we aren't that different and are tied to the same bloodline. You just need to accept that and it's yours." Buffy just nodded too stunned to speak. "Very well, now perhaps we should join the rest of the group in the study while daylight is still on our side."

"Thank you." Buffy blurted out as they made there way back to the study.

"Thanks while appreciated is not necessary, like I said this has and will continue to be a home for you whenever needed." Tara finally finding her voice mentioned that she needed to drop her things off. "Alright then we'll see you in the Study when you have finished then. Tara nodded and quickly got off on her floor. Secretly Buffy wanted to follow her but Lucinda was right they would have time to look around later. Business first, play later. She smiled to herself at that. "Buffy?" Lucinda said pulling her from her thoughts. They were at the end of the staircase and moving towards what she assumed was the study. "Be careful with her."

Okay so that was the end of Chapter 10. I hope you all enjoyed it. And hopefully I'll have chapter eleven up soon. Thanx to all who have reviewed so far, You guys are my inspiration.

8


	11. the missing piece

CHAPTER ELEVEN: the missing piece

"So you've fractured the hold of the Slayer then?" Lucinda noted when they had become settled in the study.

"Initially yes," Giles sighed pulling off his glasses. "But it is only temporary." Lucinda eyed Buffy closely trying to read into the girl's aura. Admittedly Tara was better at this than her but the destruction was extensive, to the point where she didn't have to look hard. She grimaced as she saw the damage there. The split down the center, the fractures. She sighed, breaking that type of tie could be deadly especially for a slayer.

"It's a miracle she's still alive…a spell such as that is like removing a limb, a piece that is very much a part of the whole." Giles shook his head as Tara shot the older man a look.

"So you knew the implications of such a spell?" Tara spat out angrily.

"Yes…but we had no other choice…she was dying…" Tara shook her head not wanting to think about it.

"Well what's done is done. Now we are left to find the solution." Lucinda said trying to smooth the edginess in the air.

"Agreed." He said still feeling an icy gaze coming from Tara.

"Did the books I sent you say anything about how it happened?" Lucinda asked not missing for a second the way Tara acted concerning Buffy. Giles was right she was quite protective of the Slayer. Tara rarely ever spoke out against anyone let alone an elder. She also noticed that the girl's stutter had disappeared when she had addressed Giles about Buffy. She laughed to herself thinking that they would be good for each other.

"No…there was nothing specific, just that if something was able to get through it could destroy the slayer from the inside out. It did not mention how it was able to get through though." He said pulling her from her thoughts.

"I see." She said hoping the books would have been more helpful. "But…perhaps this can be of help to us," she pulled a book from one of the shelves that lined the walls. "I came across this the day you called me to tell me what had happened…" she paused to open the book and began turning to find the appropriate scripture. Smiling when she found it with little trouble she passed it to Giles. "It says here that the slayer and host may become severed from each other, when the host refuses to accept the Slayer to her."

"So this has happened before?" Joyce asked leaning to read over Giles's shoulder.

"It would seem that way." Giles mumbled turning the page. "It says here that when a host is unable to connect with the Slayer within her the two instead of complimenting each other conflict and eventually wither away into nothing." He rubbed his hair. "It's rather interesting really." Tara looked from Giles to the book than to Buffy. "It would seem that there have been multiple Slayers in the past that have died from the lack of cooperation, there are even some dates marking the day of their calling to when they had died…" he paused looking at the dates more closely. "Huh?"

"So this is it then?" Joyce asked. "This is what's happening?"

"Perhaps." Lucinda said pointedly. "But it's more important to find why the tie was broken in the first place…if that is what has happened we need to know why." she broke off as Tara began to speak

"S-so what you're saying is Buffy just needs to accept the Slayer as p-part of herself?" she put her head in her hands. "I-It sounds too simple?" Buffy shook her head thinking the exact same thing than pulled the book from Giles's hands and began reading.

"That can't be right!" she said eyeing the book more closely. Giles looked at her bewildered.

"What do you mean?" the older watcher said. Himself thinking that it had made sense.

"I'm afraid she has a point." Lucinda said sadly, the group turned their attention back to Lucinda who was now standing and walking over to where Buffy was sitting on the floor. "More often than not these types of conflicts seem to take place at the beginning of a slayer's calling." Buffy nodded her head in agreement as she filtered through the pages. "Buffy on the other hand is in her forth and now almost fifth year."

"Buffy what is it?" Tara whispered scotching closer to the Slayer. Tara read the page Buffy was staring at. There were only a few names on it but she could easily see why Buffy was looking troubled. Not only had all the past slayers been considerably young, none of them had survived the separation. She looked to Lucinda pointedly. "H-How are we to know that this is what has happened? Most of these dates are showing to have happened within the first year of a Slayer's calling."

"We can't…but" Lucinda began then stopped as Buffy's eyes grew big. She became silent knowing Buffy had just found the lone exception.

"This one is different." She announced. "It says that about a hundred years ago _a slayer and her host's ties began to unravel_…" Buffy looked at the group "she wasn't a newbie either, she had been a slayer for nearly two years." she paused as she continued reading to herself. Tara took up where Buffy had left off.

"_But unlike the other slayers this one was able to find her missing half and could retain the damaged to a whole._" Tara looked up from what she had read and looked slightly perplexed.

"What does it mean by missing half?" Joyce said unsure.

"The slayer and host are meant to be as one, when they fall apart they must find each other again." Giles filled in assuming that to be what the text had meant.

"Perhaps." Lucinda commented pulling the book from the now silent Slayer.

"Well it does seem to fit doesn't it?" Giles said thoughtfully. "Does it say how or why it had happened though? Or how the Slayer was able to find and reconnect to her other half."

"No, unfortunately it does not, but it is something." Lucinda said having already read the text thoroughly. Giles nodded agreeing and the group grew silent in contemplation.

"What about the fluxations?" Tara asked noticing they had become less frequent since Buffy had been put in submission. "Did the books say anything about those and if the two were at all related?" Giles looked up having been thinking that they might be. Joyce raised her hand confused.

"What do you mean fluxations?" Giles blinked a couple times surprised he had forgotten Joyce would not have been able to feel them herself.

"I'm sorry my dear, let me explain. As you know there is a balance in this realm of good and of evil, of light and dark." Joyce nodded not unfamiliar with the term and motioned for him to continue. "The Slayer and those of us who fight, balance out the darkness that exists. But lately the powers have shifted and the scale has become unbalanced. In essence the darkness has grown stronger and just recently increasingly so."

"And all of you have felt this?" Joyce asked staring at the group in surprise.

"Yes." He said darkly, "In the book that Lucinda had sent me it described the imbalance and the threat it held against the slayer." He paused. "It said that if the scale became unbalanced the darkness would lash out and if it could get through to the slayer it could destroy her from the inside out. Though under normal circumstances that shouldn't be possible." He added as an after thought.

"Wait. So you knew before hand that this could happen?"

"No not exactly. Ancient texts are very cryptic and before reading that particular book everything in the Watchers diaries described the fluxations to be normal." Lucinda threw her hands up.

"Leave it to the Council to leave us to hang, bunch of useless bollocks."

"I think we are getting off topic here." Giles warned sharing similar feelings for his former employees but also wanting to stay on track.

"You're right." The older woman said. "This isn't the time. As you were saying?"

"Until then we didn't really know what the fluxations had meant. But after finding Buffy in the state she was in, it was obvious that the attacks had begun."

"Forgive me if this is a stupid question…but how did it become unbalanced and why now?" Joyce asked.

"We can't be sure but considering there are two slayers roaming the earth the scale has tipped towards the light considerably…meaning the darkness will rise as well. I may be off with this though because the fluxations hadn't begun until about a few months ago and have in the past week or so really heightened. So that theory doesn't seem to match up." He caught the puzzled look coming from Joyce and clarified. "First Kendra was a slayer for about six months before Faith. And she has been a slayer for nearly two years now, so you see it doesn't completely add up." Buffy finally spoke out, something finally clicking.

"No Giles I think you're right on target or at least close to it." She took a deep breath not knowing how to explain what she had just figured out. "Kendra was only on the Hellmouth for a short period of time...I don't think anyone even realized it was possiable to have two slayers. So perhaps she didn't have as great of an effect because she hadn't been active for that long and went unnoticed?" Lucinda nodded her head realizing that Faith had gotten much more notice than the previous slayer had. "But shortly after Faith was called remember what happened to Angel?" Tara raised her brow recognizing the name. "Faith was around when he was locked in that hell of a dimension…" she took a deep breath trying to keep herself together. Tara grabbed Buffy's hand offering her support, recognizing the anguish in the Slayers eyes. "But still everything was normal."

"And you're saying he's on the right track with this notion?" Lucinda asked confused.

"Yes in a way. Let me explain. Before Faith had been called Angel was an asset to us all, he fought for the light. And in that time the powers remained balanced correct."

"But Faith had been called at the end of your junior year hadn't she, the powers would have become unbalanced then if the two were connected." Joyce commented understanding why Giles felt this theory was unlikely. Buffy shook her head no.

"Not necessarily. Yes, Faith had been called," she turned to Giles, "but wasn't her first year as a Slayer an inactive one." Giles was thoughtful for a moment than realized Buffy was right and nodded for her to go on. "The council hadn't found Faith until almost a year after she had been called right?"

"Yes you do have a point…but are you sure the two are connected. After she started fighting the powers were still balanced?" Buffy put her finger up signaling that she needed a minute more to explain.

"When Angel went evil…" she paused trying to calm herself. "Faith had begun her training and was fighting off the darkness while Angel added to it, and yes at that point the powers were still balanced. And when he was in hell and Faith came to Sunnydale nothing had changed."

"Go on." Giles said realizing that Buffy very well might be on to something with this. So far it made sense.

"But when Angel came back, his soul intact do you remember what happened?" she asked pointedly.

"Oh my dear lord!" Giles exclaimed understanding. "You're right! This is remarkable Buffy." Buffy grinned at Tara.

"Just call me Nancy drew." She said lightly surprised herself that she had figured it out.

"I think I've missed something, because you've just lost me." The older Summers said while Tara nodded her agreement. "What happened to Angel?"

"The First made an attack on his mind?" Lucinda filled in remembering Giles telling her what had happened. "This is very interesting indeed, I'm surprised I hadn't thought of it."

"The First?" Tara said thoughtfully.

"The ultimate Evil, or the core for lack of a better word. Though because it has no physical form, is known for playing into a person's fear. It uses the forms of those who have perished to haunt its' victims. More often than not leading to the person it's attacking to go mad or commit suicide whichever comes first." Tara frowned. That being exactly what Buffy had described happening. She hadn't gone in detail and Tara wasn't about to push, but it added up.

"But what attacked Buffy must have had a physical form if it was able to stab her right?" Joyce asked.

"That's the problem." She paused. "But Buffy does have a point, the dates match to when the fluxations began." She looked to Buffy. "As for what attacked you, you said they were all people who have passed away correct and Tara you were unable to see the apparitions?" Tara nodded her head confirming what Lucinda said to be true.

"Yes." Buffy said shaking at the memory of what that thing had shown her. Tara tightened her grip on Buffy's hand. Buffy smiled at the gesture and squeezed back.

"Everything adds up…except for the wound." Lucinda's brow creased. "But if something like the First was able to penetrate the mental walls of the Slayer who knows what could happen. What it would be capable of." Joyce sighed rubbing her face.

"This is a lot to take in."

"Indeed…" Giles grew silent "Do you suppose if the powers became so imbalanced the First could muster enough energy to take on a physical form…for a short period of time at least?"

"I suppose it's possible." She also grew quite. "Perhaps something else has happened to deepen the imbalance." All eyes turned to Tara who was paling exceptionally. "Tara…" the older woman began knowing what the aspiring sorceress must be thinking.

"I-I think I need to be a-alone r-right n-now. E-Excuse me." Tara said abruptly standing tears coming to her eyes. "S-Sorry." She whispered fleeing from the room. Buffy looked from Tara's retreating back to Lucinda.

"What just happened?" Lucinda sighed, realizing if Tara cared as much for Buffy as she thought the woman was probably taking the possibility that she was the missing piece pretty hard.

"I'm thinking she is feeling to blame right now." Lucinda said softy.

"To blame?" Buffy shook her head. "For what she hasn't done anything…"

"But that's not how she feels…she thinks she's to blame for what happened to you?"

"To blame?" Buffy said then realized what the woman had meant. "You think she threw the balance?" Lucinda sighed then nodded. "But what happened isn't her fault. It wouldn't have been able to get through if the tie between me and the slayer part of me hadn't been damaged. It isn't her fault." Lucinda smiled weakly at Buffy glad she saw it that way.

"That poor girl…" Joyce said her heart aching for the shy woman. "She's probably torturing herself over this." Buffy growled standing up.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." She began to leave the room when Lucinda called out to her.

"Buffy." Buffy turned already halfway through the door and looked at Lucinda urgency written across her face. "Remember what I told you." Buffy gave a sharp nod, and sprinted up the stairs after the blonde.

Once again thanks everyone who has reviewed! Especially shadow high angel! I think the last review you had sent me was the best I have ever gotten. You are an extremely insightful reader. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint anyone and hopefully I'll get another up soon. TT4N


	12. the walls between us

CHAPTER TWELVE: the walls between us

Buffy sprinted down the hallway Lucinda had pointed out only a few hours earlier. She could sense Tara was near and narrowed in on a small pine door. She felt the warm buzz emanating from the room, something that was entirely Tara and paused. She didn't know whether she should knock or just barge in. She wanted to comfort the blonde but how could she make her see it wasn't her fault, she was coming to care for the blonde too much to let her think these things. She wouldn't let Tara blame herself. But it was obvious by Tara's actions that she believed it was and even in the short period of time that Buffy had known her she knew this wasn't going to be an easy task. Nodding to herself she raised her hand preparing to knock.

"P-Please…" a voice said causing the Slayer pause. "B-Buffy I know y-you're there…and I know what y-you're trying to do…just d-don't okay."

"Tara…" Buffy whispered lowering her raised fist and placing her hand against the door. Her heart was pounding at the Wicca's cracking words. She was obviously crying. "Tara I need to talk to you."

"B-Buffy…" Tara started again. "I-I'm sorry I just…I c-can't…" she took a shuddering breath that gnawed at the Slayer's insides. "I-I should h-have never h-have come to S-Sunnydale." Buffy frowned and reached for the door handle instinctively. It was locked. She put her head against the door helplessly the woman's words cutting her deeply.

"Tara please open the door…" she sighed knowing that with the tie broken with her Slayer side she couldn't very well brake it down her self. "I need to talk to you." She didn't know what she was going to say…or how she was going to say it. She just knew that what she felt for the Wicca surpassed all that she had thought was possible to feel for another person, and when Tara said she had wished she had never come to Sunnydale… something cracked inside of her. She needed to be honest with herself and to Tara, she realized now without a fraction of a doubt what she was feeling. "And what I have to say shouldn't be said with a wall between us so please?" she didn't know how Tara would react to what she had to say but considering the circumstances she thought that Tara should know. And know that she could never blame her. "Please Tara?" Buffy said tears beginning to rise to her eyes. She shook inwardly when she got no reply.

On the other side of the wall Tara was clenching her eyes shut trying to block out the slayer's desperate words. By not opening the door she was fighting every fiber of her being that screamed for the Slayer's nearness. A few minutes passed and still nothing was said. She knew Buffy was still outside the door, but what could she say. Sorry I didn't know that you might die if I loved you? She shook her head. That was not even an option.

"Tara! Please talk to me?" Buffy said falling to her knees in front of the door. She didn't know what to do. "I need you…" she whispered. Tara's body quaked at the words but she refused to give in. she couldn't. Couldn't hurt her anymore.

When Tara had come to Sunnydale she hoped to find Buffy, hoped she would remember her, and prayed she'd be would accept her into her life if only as a friend. She had told Buffy that it was what Lucinda that had suggested she come but that wasn't true. She had begged Lucinda to let her go, countering the older woman's questions with the fact that she could be of help and that she was more than capable to handle herself. Not to mention could go to college right there in town.

Secretly though, she had been keeping tabs on supernatural activity since she had met Buffy. Before she knew it she was following the demonic activity in L.A. to a fault, hoping to find traces of what Buffy was, where she was, who she was. She had even returned to Hemry against her mother's wishes hoping to find the blonde that had saved her, she even went to her house but with no luck. The girl was gone. Before she left she retrieved one of the school's yearbooks. But the picture in the yearbook wasn't the girl she had met that night, the girl she had met was so much more.

To be honest her search for Buffy almost verged on obsession but something about the girl had awoken something inside of her that she couldn't explain. When she was near her, her whole body seemed to hum. Like she was only just then truly alive, she made her feel like she was worth something. The way she looked at her with such care and gentleness pulled at her core. She didn't know why or how but something inside of her cried out for her even then, cried out to protect her in return. All she knew was that she needed to find her again.

She could hear Buffy whimpering on the other side of the door and gripped her pillow tighter trying to muffle her own tears. Even when her mother became sick the thought of finding Buffy kept her going.

But now after almost four years of training and searching and finally finding her…only to put her in danger? She couldn't help but think it was her fault. Yes it pained her to know the Slayer was hurting, pained her so much she could barely stand it, but it was knowing that she was to blame that was really killing her. She didn't deserve her and never would. She closed her eyes and allowed the exhaustion of tears overtake her.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Lucinda sighed setting the books her and Giles had been looking through away. There was still no word from Buffy or Tara and it began to worry her.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Joyce asked remaining in the Study after Giles had returned to his room. Lucinda sighed.

"Too be honest with you Joyce I'm not sure." She sighed not knowing how much she should voice her thoughts with the older Summers. "Tara cares for Buffy a lot. That much I am sure of." She sighed sitting in a chair across from the woman. "And she feels that by seeking Buffy out she is now to blame for what has happened."

"But wasn't it you who sent her to help on the Hellmouth?" Joyce asked wondering why the young girl would blame herself for it if it wasn't her idea. Lucinda raised her eyebrow confused.

"Is that what she told you?" Joyce nodded and she frowned realizing something. "I think she is going to take this harder than you and I could both imagine."

"What do you mean?"

"Joyce. I'm going to be honest here, Tara practically begged me to let her go to the Hellmouth in Sunnydale. I of course was against it to begin with. I promised her mother I'd look after her and sending her to a demon infested region hardly seemed like the way."

"She asked to come?" Joyce said surprised. "You mean she wanted to fight." Giles had said that Tara was against violence, so why would she want to come. Lucinda continued reading the look on Joyce's face.

"Yes Tara for the most part is pretty much against violence all together, that is why I was surprised that she asked. Of course she was powerful enough to hold her own. Since she came here she's focused on honing in on her own abilities as a sorceress and has succeeded beautifully." Lucinda shook her head remembering how Tara was always going above and beyond her teachings as if powered by an outside force. "Surprisingly though her mother had said she had never shown that great of an interest in expanding her powers before, but admitted her daughter had changed a great deal since she had encountered the Slayer." She paused taking a sip of tea. "When her mother got sick I thought maybe she was hoping to save her and that was why she kept expanding her powers, but Tara knew that's not what her mom would have wanted. Plus when Caroline passed on Tara continued training, and now with what has happened I can't help but question why."

"Is it possible that she just wanted to do some good for the world?" Joyce asked not understanding why Lucinda didn't grasp that herself.

"No, I didn't mean why she trained, I meant why so hard and why the Hellmouth specifically?" She hoped the Joyce would get what she was trying to say without actually saying it. "There are places to fight all over California, on top of which Tara wanted to go to college there and why I'll never know, her credentials could get her in anywhere." She sighed. "What was in Sunnydale that Tara would work so hard to get there for? Had she been a fraction weaker I would never had given my consent for her to go and she knew that. Which is why I think she trained so hard. But the question remains as to why."

"You think she came for Buffy?" Joyce said filling in what the woman wasn't saying. "But they had only met once." Lucinda shrugged thinking about how Tara looked at Buffy. Sometimes once is all it takes.

"I know and that's why I'm worried she is going to take this hard." Joyce pondered this for a moment trying to understand what Lucinda was getting at.

"But why do think she did it?" Joyce asked wondering if Lucinda had picked up on the two's budding relationship. Lucinda grinned to herself that Joyce realized what she was really saying.

"Well what's the only human emotion known to drive us to do things we never thought were possible, give us the strength to keep going despite the odds?"

"You think she loves her don't you?" Lucinda smiled glad that Joyce had finally voiced it.

"If I said yes would you feel any differently towards Tara?" She thought of Tara like a daughter and hoped Joyce would respect that.

"Not at all." Joyce said quickly, in reality being quite pleased that her daughter's own feelings weren't just one sided. Though after talking with Tara while Buffy was out and getting to know her she could easily see the depth at which Tara cared for Buffy. It was clearly obvious the Wicca harbored more than just friendly feelings towards Buffy she was just glad that she wasn't the only one to recognize it. "Tara is a beautiful person and I would never think any lower of her if that's what you are asking." Lucinda nodded glad to hear that that is how Joyce felt on the matter.

"Well in that case I can confidently tell you that at this point I'm sure of it." She sighed rubbing her hands together absent mindedly. "But with her feelings conflicting with what has happened…she could take this bad. Not to mention we have no idea if Buffy returns her feelings." Joyce just grinned. "What?"

"Let's just say that Tara's feelings are definitely not just one sided." Joyce laughed at Lucinda's incredulous look. "Trust me when I say they aren't. She told me herself."

"She told you?"

"Well…" Joyce winked. "With a little bit of prying she told me." Lucinda smiled. "God you should have seen her, she was star struck."

"Well this is an interesting turn of events…" she paused something about this whole situation sounding eerily familiar.

"What is it?" Joyce said noticing the woman had become quiet. Lucinda stood and began scanning a shelf of books. She shook her head not finding what she was looking for.

"I'm not sure…but I think it's important."

Okay thanks again to all who have reviewed I hope you have enjoyed this story so far. I also have a picture that for the life of me I can not get up on here so you all can see it. Its a B/T pic if you were wondering. But if anyone would be interested in seeing it I can send it to you. I dunno I think its pretty cool but I could be biased since I did it. Alright well I hope you enjoy what's still to come and once again thank you thank you for reviewing, I love you people.


	13. not your fault

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: not your fault

It was late when Lucinda began to make her way to her room. When she rounded the corner she caught a glimpse of someone huddled outside Tara's door. She sighed to herself recognizing the form to be Buffy. As she approached the Slayer she frowned. Buffy was sleeping against the wall, her hair matted to tear strained cheeks. She supposed Tara was in much the same state.

"Buffy?" she reached out and touched the girl's arm. "Buffy?" The slayer's eyes blinked tiredly open.

"T-Tara?" she murmured beginning to come to. Lucinda smiled sadly.

"No. I'm afraid not." Buffy sighed leaning her head against the wall. "Have you been able to talk to her?" Buffy shook her head and wiped at her eyes.

"No she won't open the door, I don't know what to do…I could never blame her for any of this but she won't listen…I lo-" she stopped catching herself mid sentence. "I just don't know what to do." Lucinda nodded not for a second missing Buffy's slip.

"Just give her some time sweetie, she'll come around." Buffy set her head in her hands dejectedly.

"That's the thing…how much time do I even have?" her voice began to crack. "A week a month? How long? The book we read earlier wasn't exactly descriptive on what I had to do, how long I had…we don't even know if it's the same thing. What if it doesn't work…what if I can't beat this…" she began to shake. "Tara's been the only thing holding me together and now she wishes she had never come to Sunnydale?" she began to sob. "She thinks it's her fault! She thinks I blame her." She wiped at her face "But I don't! I could never. But without her I don't think I'm gonna be strong enough to face this, not on my own." Lucinda's heart went to the girl breaking before her eyes, she glanced at the door and sent her wishes forward. She could only hope Tara would follow.

"Buffy come with me." Buffy looked up at her taken back by the woman's firm tone. "There are things we need to discuss. Things you need to understand." Buffy took at last look at Tara's door not wanting to leave then back to Lucinda. "It won't take long." The older woman assured. Buffy reluctantly agreed than followed the woman towards the staircase.

When they had reached the end of the stairs, Lucinda directed them into the Study and closed a large pair of doors behind them.

"What I'm about to tell you never leaves this room do you understand me." Buffy looked at her confused. That being the last thing she had expected to hear come out of the woman's mouth. "I have never shared this with anyone." Buffy nodded than sat down not really sure what to expect. "Tara's life hasn't been an easy one…" she began sitting behind a large desk. "And despite my own feelings on the matter I have always left my door open to Caroline and Tara." She took a breath. "As you may know, Tara has come from a long line of Sorceresses and is very powerful, she was born into the power and was meant to fulfill it. Her mother on the other hand, when she had become pregnant with Tara wanted to give her daughter a chance at a normal life…away from the Coven." She sighed, and stood. "Of course she taught her daughter about Magic and the power she harnessed but allowed her daughter to choose for herself…" she began pacing "I didn't always agree with Caroline and her choices…but we have to make our own mistakes." She stopped turning away from the slayer. "As for Tara's father, on the outside he seemed nice enough he was good looking and was raising a son. I honestly think he was the one who suggested that Caroline leave the Coven but at this point we will never know for sure." Lucinda paused gathering her bearings. Caroline was like a daughter to her and thinking of her death always brought pain. But she pushed those thoughts aside, Buffy needed to know this. "At first he was a doting father but over time that changed…" Buffy frowned almost afraid to ask

"What changed?"

"He didn't approve of the magic in Caroline's blood and threatened her with it constantly, especially when he realized Tara had inherited it as well and Caroline was teaching it to her." Lucinda scowled at the remembrance. "He called it the Devil's work but-" Lucinda rubbed her temples. "I think he was just jealous of Tara…Caroline loved her so much and I think he just couldn't handle that he wasn't the center of her world anymore. On top of that her and Tara, they shared something that he could never have. Magic."

"So what happened?" Buffy asked dazed by what she was hearing. She was so drawn into what Lucinda was saying that she didn't hear the door open behind them.

"Well overtime he became hateful and even abusive more so towards Tara than anyone." Buffy gasped remembering the night she had met Tara and the state she had found her in. "He even allowed and encouraged his son to beat on her." Buffy cracked having heard enough.

"Why didn't someone do something?!" she cried. "Didn't her mother know?" Lucinda shook her head. "The police? Someone?"

"No one knew Buffy at least not at first. But when Caroline found out she threatened to leave and well to put make a long story short the day before the move he planned on finishing the job." Buffy gasped not believing what she was hearing. The fact that a father could even think about hurting his own daughter…and Tara.

"Why are you telling me this?" Buffy said tears welling in her eyes. Lucinda frowned.

"Because Buffy you need to understand!" she slammed her hand down against the table also angered by Tara having dealt with this. "When you found Tara she wasn't just being attacked by a vampire was she?" Buffy stood stock still then shook her head. "You saved her from humans didn't you?"

"Yes." she could barely find her voice as she began to realize what had really been happening that night. That was what he had meant by finishing the job…he was planning on killing her.

"How many were there Buffy? Two, three?" Buffy gasped not believing what she was hearing.

"Three." Lucinda nodded already knowing this from Caroline.

"Was she fighting back at all?" Buffy shook her head no again, the night replaying in her head in full detail, Tara had just been lying there taking it. "Well that night Buffy, I can tell you right now Tara could have handled her own…but she didn't."

"But why wouldn't she?" Buffy said anger beginning to replace her tears. "They were trying to kill her."

"Simple. She couldn't bring herself to hurt them, they had taught her to think she was worthless Buffy, led her to believe that she would never amount to anything. I think part of her was ready to die." Buffy could feel her anger rising wishing she had done more than just smacked the three men around that night. Lucinda watched as Buffy's eyes began to take on a light gold hue. Yes the Slayer bond had been broken she thought but she was still in there.

"Relax my child we have yet to reach my point." Lucinda said calmly

"And what is your point..." Buffy growled a power she had never felt swelling inside of her. "How can you expect me to relax when your telling me that she had been abused up until the night I found her and then that they were going to kill her? How am I supposed to just sit back and pretend not to hear you?!" Lucinda saw the slayer beginning to slip as she cracked the furniture with her grip on the couch.

"You will hear me or you will never understand." She got in Buffy's face. "The night you saved her you did more than just save her life! You saved her soul! You made her feel like she was worth something. For the first time in her life you made her realize she wasn't better off dead." She frowned at Buffy who just started at her blankly the anger dying down. "Can't you understand? Everything that that girl has done from that point on has been because of you. She and her mom left her house and came here, she trained and harnessed her powers to come to Sunnydale because of you. She did it for you!"

"But why…" Buffy said not believing what she was being told. Lucinda shook her head backing away from the Slayer it wasn't her place to say. But this is why she had brought them here. She glanced towards the figure that had followed them in the room.

"That is for you two to discuss. But know this. She is torturing herself over this because hurting you or causing you pain is the last thing she ever wanted to do. She is going to take this hard if it was her fault or not."

"It is not her fault!" Buffy said flatly staring into a pair of ancient brown eyes. "If it wasn't for her I would have died the other night in the cemetery and if not then, then some other time, it is inevitable. But up until recently I was the one dying inside and giving up." She shook her head. "Tara showed me things, made me see things in ways that I could never repay…" she crossed her arms. "Before she came I was miserable living from one fight to the next…something about her changed that for me…I can't explain it."

"I think you can Buffy, if you try." Lucinda said hinting at Buffy.

"I just don't understand her blaming herself, the slayer side of me was damaged to begin with, she had nothing to do with that. If anything she was the only thing keeping me going. Without her I would have given up already!"

"But she did tip the scale Buffy." Lucinda said just stating the simple fact. Buffy glared at her.

"I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. IT WAS NOT HER FAULT!!"

"Then make her believe that." She said simply.

"How?" Buffy said exasperatedly "She won't even open her door!" Lucinda just looked at her seriously than nodded to something across the room.

"Well…here's your chance." She whispered to Buffy than turned to leave. Buffy followed her gaze to find Tara standing against the door looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Lucinda approached Tara pleased that the young girl had gotten her message and agreed to follow them. The two really needed to work this out.

"Hear her out Tara…it's important that you do." With that said Lucinda exited the study closing the door behind her praying they figured things out.

The anger Buffy had been feeling instantly fled when she saw Tara leaned against the wall, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Tara…"

"I-I'm sorry." Buffy looked at Tara surprised.

"For what you haven't done anything." She paused. "And don't you even try to blame yourself for this." She approached Tara slowly. "Because I refuse to let you believe that this happened because of you." Tara shook her head.

"I-It did though Buffy!" Tara said looking away. "I know you don't want to believe that but it did. If the scales hadn't tipped this wouldn't have happened…you wouldn't be here di-" she stopped unable to say it. Buffy frowned and paused in front of her waiting for her to look her in the eye. When Tara was unable to look at her Buffy gently grabbed her cheek in the palm of her hand.

"Tara I want you to listen and listen good because I am only going to say this once." She stared into Tara's eyes pleading her to understand. "I do not blame you for this. At all do you understand? I don't regret meeting you. And I certainly don't regret you coming to Sunnydale." Tara began to protest but Buffy silenced her with her finger. "I wouldn't change finding you again for anything. Anything."

"B-Buffy how can you say that?" Tara started but was cut off again.

"Tara in the past five days you have shown me things made me feel things that I didn't think possible for me to feel anymore. You have opened my eyes to so much more than you know and if I had to do this all over again I would. Do you understand me? I do not regret this. Regret you at all." Tara stared at Buffy unable to believe what she was seeing. The depth of truth in Buffy's eyes unleashed another torrent of tears. Buffy sighed pulling Tara closer to her and relishing the comfort she felt there.

"But it's my fault…" she cried clinging to the Slayer tighter. "I-It's my fault."

"No it's not." Buffy said again running her hands through the Wicca's hair. "It isn't your fault." When Tara seemed to have calmed down Buffy slowly motioned them over to the couch. There was a lot she wanted to discuss mainly about what Lucinda had spoken with her about but there would be time for that. Right now she didn't want to push and was just glad that Tara was there with her.

"W-What are we g-going to do?" Tara said finally breaking the silence. Buffy frowned not knowing how to answer that question.

"To be honest at this point I really don't know." She sighed touching Tara's hand that instantly interlaced with her own. "But as long as you're with me I know I can beat this." Tara looked over at Buffy seriously.

"Not just you Buffy…we." Buffy smiled at her squeezing the hand she held lightly in affirmation.

"You're right. We."

Well I hope you all enjoyed this update. And thanks again to all who have reviewed. Have a good holiday weekend woot-woot.


	14. a lot to learn

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: a lot to learn

Buffy awoke to the smell of food. Without thinking she shifted around to find Tara and frowned. They had sat up for a while talking, neither one of them wanting to leave just to go to separate rooms. So instead they began researching some of the books in the study content with the other's nearness. Despite her resistance though sleep began its hazy grip and she had begun to doze off alongside the Wiccan.

She smiled to herself remembering how Tara had shifted around on the couch allowing her to curl up next to her while she continued to read. She couldn't explain it but even the simplest act of affection spoke volumes to her. She groaned as her stomach growled. The smell of breakfast made it all too obvious that she hadn't eaten in a couple of days. Her insides screamed for food but first and foremost they screamed for Tara.

Standing up she stretched surprised at how well rested she felt, something she was beginning to notice happened when she was in the presence of the Wiccan. She laughed to herself. "It must be magic" with that thought she made her way out of the Study.

"Buffy, in here." Joyce called from the kitchen just as she was about to make her way upstairs. Buffy sighed, her search for Tara being momentarily postponed and headed towards where her mother had called for her. She stepped into the kitchen and grinned.

Tara was at the stove with Lucinda and another woman whipping up an ensemble of pancakes eggs and sausage. Joyce smiled at her daughter having seen her leaving the Study and instinctively knowing what she was really after. She shook her head having never imaged her daughter passing up a meal for anyone. She smirked at her daughter's glazed look as she watched the blonde whisk a batch of pancake batter next to the oven. "Sleep well?" Buffy nodded absently fascinated with the smudge of flour across Tara's cheek. "Oh daughter of mine I think you might be drooling." Joyce said absently to herself.

"Huh?" Buffy broke away from the trance she had fallen into and stared at her mom confused. "Did you say something?" Joyce grinned and patted a chair positioned next to her own.

"Nothing important." She assured, "So did you two work everything out last night?" Buffy looked at the chair then back to Tara wondering if they could use any help. "Oh don't bother." Joyce said recognizing her daughter's look. "They wouldn't let me near the stove, Lucinda, Tara and Martha, the other woman helping, insisted that we are guests and will be treated as so." Buffy nodded in acceptance the three women seeming to have it under control. "So how did it go?" Buffy smiled not taking her eyes off Tara for a second.

"Surprisingly, better than I had thought." She glanced over at Lucinda then back to Tara. "Lucinda helped a lot last night." She sighed " Even though we still have a lot to discuss I think she's taking it better now." Joyce watched as her daughter's gaze was once again glued to Tara and rolled her eyes.

"So…" The older Summers started casually, "What else happened?" Buffy turned to look at her mother then blushed as Joyce wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"MOM!" Buffy said shocked than laughed as her mother shrugged innocently. Tara looked up from her cooking hearing Buffy's laughter over the sounds of the stove and smiled to herself. Even with her hair mused from sleep she was definitely adorable.

"Well what am I supposed to think?" Joyce said laughing along with her daughter. "You two did look rather comfortable this morning." Buffy just gaped, setting her head in her hands. She couldn't believe her mom was doing this now.

"You're terrible, you know that." She whispered still giggling. "And for your information we were just sleeping."

"Sleeping…_right_." Joyce said sarcastically than looked over to Tara who was watching Buffy a small smile on her face. She sighed thinking how good they would be together.

"Good morning." Giles said as he made his way into the kitchen. He looked to the three women cooking curiously, "Anything I can do to help?"

"Sit down Rupert you know the house rules." Lucinda said jokingly not looking up from where she was piling sausage on a plate. He laughed nodding then turned his attention to the two Summers. "How do you feel this morning?" He asked surprised at how rested his Slayer seemed to be looking.

"Good." Buffy said simply motioning for Giles to take a seat. The older man smiled gratefully and sat down. "Extremely good as a matter of fact."

"Buffy got a _really good_ night's sleep last night." Joyce filled in then cackled hysterically as Buffy shot her a death glare. Giles looked between the two Women confused.

"I dare say I must be missing something?"

"You aren't." Buffy said quickly.

"Alright everyone foods up!" Lucinda called walking towards the group with two large plates covered in food. Buffy sighed thankful for the distraction and watched as the other woman who had been helping brought over a large dish loaded down with eggs and biscuits.

Lucinda watched as Buffy's eyes trailed towards Tara and shook her head, Joyce was right…definitely not just one sided. "Buffy, be a dear, and help Tara with the plates and silver-wear." Buffy stood quickly not needing to be asked twice and headed over to

where Tara was pulling down plates from a cupboard. "Okay everyone. "Lucinda said eyeing the two girls in the kitchen "How bout we take these dishes into the dining room." The group nodded agreeing there would be more room in the larger dining hall and they all pitched in to transfer the plates into the other room, leaving Buffy and Tara to themselves.

Buffy quickly stepped up behind the Wiccan, groaning at the strip of skin revealed when she reached up to pull the plates down. "Need a hand?" Tara turned from the cupboard and smiled at the Slayer having sensed her approaching.

"Hey sleepy head." She whispered glancing down at the floor. "Yeah I could use a hand." She paused, glancing back up at the Slayer. "Did you sleep okay?" Buffy grinned and stepped closer to her.

"Like you even have to ask?" she rolled her eyes at Tara's look of bewilderment. "Though I think I would have slept better if my pillow hadn't gone AWOL." Tara smiled blushing.

"S-So I make a good pillow huh?" Buffy winked.

"Definitely." She reached over and brushed a finger at the flour smudged across the blonde's face. "And not only is she comfy, but she can cook too. Forget air bed mattresses of the future I think I got the better deal." Tara raised her eyebrow at that.

"Really?" she grinned at the Slayer and self consciously rubbed at her face figuring she had gotten more than just a single streak of flour there. "Too bad I'm such a mess." Buffy shook her head. "I hear the grunge furniture wasn't in this season."

"I'm going to have to disagree with you there." She stepped back and looked the blonde over, then grinned as she gathered some spilled flour from the counter. "I think I like you a little messy" she ran her white covered finger down Tara's cheek and smiled. "Yup, definitely like you messy." Tara just stared at her at a loss for words. "Oh common like you don't know how cute that is?" Buffy said gathering the plates in her hand enjoying watching Tara blush.

"You…you think I-I'm cute?" she asked, a boldness she hadn't thought she possessed coming to a front. But the second it had left her mouth she instantly wished she could take it back. Buffy stopped giving her an odd look. Uh-oh.

"Honestly?" Buffy asked seriously realizing that Tara must not think she was attractive.

"Yes." Tara breathed out, it was now or never she thought. Though her heart was beating at such a pace she was begging to consider it unhealthy.

"No…" Buffy said slowly causing Tara's heart to plummet. She mentally smacked herself for even asking, there was no way Buffy would have actually found her attractive let alone cute. She looked down at the floor tiles too afraid to look Buffy in the eyes, knowing the slayer would see the hurt, and eventually put two and two together. "I think you're beautiful." Buffy finally said causing Tara's head to shoot up at hearing the low murmur of an admittance. She locked shocked blue eyes with shy hazel. That was not what she had been expecting at all.

"Buffy…" she paused to catch her breath her stomach doing flip flops. "I'm not…b-beautiful." She stuttered out too taken aback to notice the seriousness in Buffy's eyes. "I mean not like you…cute maybe but I'm not beautiful." Buffy stared at her in disbelief. Did she honestly not know how good-looking she was, and with the flour smudged on her face? And wait back up…Buffy thought. She thinks I'm beautiful? She shook her head.

"First off, yes you are and if you don't think so than you need to get your eyes checked." Tara started to say something but Buffy beat her to it. "And once again do not argue this topic with me because there is nothing to argue understood." Tara shut her mouth. "And two…Tara if you think I'm beautiful when my hair is a mess and I'm sporting day old cloths than I really suggest you invest in some bifocals or something cuz it's just not happening." She motioned to her body causing Tara to blush.

"I-I like your messy hair…" she said trying not to gawk at Buffy to hard then grinned hesitantly reaching a hand out to smooth some of the slayer's hair down. "it's adorable." Buffy stared at her as if she were nuts. "I'm serious." Buffy shook her head then stepped closer to the Wiccan backing her up against the counter.

"It's times like these when I question your brain cells you know." Tara stared at Buffy in a trance with how close she was. The warm buzz passing between them making her delirious.

"R-Really…" Tara choked out her heart pounding hard in her chest.

"Yeah" she whispered. "Really…" she wiped her flour covered finger across her cheek again then winked stepping back admiring her work. Tara blushed deeply thankful for the counter supporting her because her legs were feeling a little on the jello side if she was being truthful.

"Y-Your rotten." She said turning to pull a few more plates out and avoid the urge to kiss the teasing slayer. Buffy just laughed.

"Says the woman who's blind, pa-lease." Tara turned around a few more plates in hand and gave them to Buffy to add to the pile then moved to a large drawer and began pulling out silver-wear at a loss for what to say. Buffy just smiled hearing the woman's heart thundering away along with her own. She stepped up behind Tara and whispered into her ear. "What cat got your tongue…"Tara gripped the counter chills running through her body. She looked down at her hands that were practically shaking. She couldn't take it anymore. She closed her eyes trying to steady her thoughts.

"B-Buffy…I-I…" Buffy leaned in closer hooking her chin over the Wicca's shoulder relishing the hum passing through their bodies. Tara shook her head trying to find her bearings the weird connection they shared making it harder to focus. "I think I…I mean I…" Buffy held her breath praying she hadn't read Tara wrong. But just as Tara was about to voice her thoughts the door to the kitchen opened causing the two girls to jump.

"Common you two," Lucinda said grinning, "Other people out here are wanting to eat." Tara groaned covering her face that was beat red. If Lucinda had had suspicions before she thought, then she knew without a doubt how she felt about Buffy now. If the look she was being given was any indication. "Let's go ladies," she snapped her fingers. "While the food is still hot." Tara glanced at Buffy through spit fingers and groaned her body still feeling uncomfortably warm. Buffy shook her own head beginning to wonder if the older woman did it on purpose and began to make her way towards the Dinning room. When Buffy was gone Lucinda eyed Tara carefully. "Have you told her yet?" Tara looked at Lucinda a little surprised by her bluntness, but shook her head no. Lying was pointless. Lucinda went to the cabinets and pulled out a stack of glasses. "And why not?"

"I don't know…" Tara said softly pulling out a few more forks. "What if she doesn't return my feelings." Lucinda nodded and retrieved a bottle of syrup.

"And what are your feelings for her exactly?" Tara sighed closing the drawer.

"It's complicated." Lucinda grinned at that. Tara preferring the fairer sex had already been established about a year ago. So aside from that aspect she was a little curious as to how.

"What's complicated about it?" Tara closed her eyes her heart finally returning to its natural pace.

"Liking her is one thing but to be honest I care about her too much for it just to be a simple crush…I think…I'm in love with her." She whispered not having completely believed the words until they had been said aloud. "And it scares me." Lucinda just smiled and ran a hand through Tara's hair.

"What is so scary about that?" Tara frowned.

"Well aside from the fact that she may not return the feelings…" Lucinda shook her head not believing that Tara hadn't figured it out yet.

"You my dear." She started holding the door open for Tara to proceed her. "Have a lot to learn." Tara turned back to her confused but the older woman had already turned her attention to the group of people gathered at the table.

"Well a lot of help you are."

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed, I'm really glad you all seem to enjoy it so far. And on a positive note though I'm not promising after next week I'll be able to update more frequently and hopefully get another story started. Alright and as always feedback is appreciated. P.S. if anyone was interested in seeing the picture I had mentioned I'll need your email to send it to you. Thanks again.

P.S.P.S (squidward) big sigh of relief don't scare me like that. I'm glad to know ur ok. I'm still worried like mad but that's one thing eased from my mind. And squids just so you know…9/12/21 & 9/13/21!!!!!!!

7


	15. can't take a hint

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: can't take a hint

Buffy smiled shyly around a fork full of pancakes as Tara passed her a pitcher of milk. She couldn't believe how assertive she had been in the kitchen, but then again Tara had a strange effect on her. She poured herself a glass and took a sip of milk contemplating the woman sitting across from her.

When she had walked into the dinning room her mom had just winked over a cup of coffee and motioning for Buffy to take a seat. Yeah, yeah she thought laugh it up, but when Tara had made her way in a few moments later carrying the silver-wear all other thoughts became fleeting.

"H-How is it?" Tara asked after everyone else was situated and in conversations of their own. Buffy looked up at her and smiled her cheeks bulging. Tara couldn't help smirking at how Buffy seemed to be shoveling her food down. Buffy swallowed then grinned winking at Tara.

"The food or the view?" Buffy whispered low enough so that no one else would hear her. Tara's breath caught.

"The foo…" Tara paused blushing as Lucinda passed her the plate of eggs with her eyebrow raised, "Uhh or b-both?" Tara asked unsteadily while putting a couple spoonfuls of eggs on her own plate, then sliding it across the table to Buffy. The slayer continued to grin adding a large portion to her own plate.

"Well…" Buffy said casually handing the plate over to her mother never taking her eyes from Tara. "I can honestly say the food is absolutely delicious. But…I do have my preferences." Tara raised her eyebrow not sure if she was following. A few moments passed before Tara gathered the urge to ask.

"And your preference w-would be?" Buffy just smiled setting her fork down on the table and rested her head in her hands, staring intently at the Wiccan.

"Oh Goddess…" Tara breathed covering her face, her heart beating out of control again. Lucinda caught the statement and glanced at Tara, then motioned for Joyce with her eyes to take a look. Joyce gaped for a second at how obvious her daughter was being then shook her head at the two, smothering her grin.

"Alright." Lucinda began getting the group of people's attention. "Now that we are all settled, lets begin introductions shall we." Buffy turned and was surprised to see a few new faces sitting at the table. She hadn't heard them come in. She laughed to herself, thinking that she hadn't exactly been paying the best of attention either. Lucinda motioned to the woman who had been helping in the kitchen. "For those of you who have not been introduced, this is Martha my sister." The slightly younger heavier set version of Lucinda waved shyly to the group then continued eating. "She'll be helping with the cleansing rituals and she knows this place just as well as I. So if you have any questions what so ever and I'm unavailable don't hesitate to ask her."

"And I'm Travis." The boy who had joined the table said piping up. Buffy glanced at the outspoken boy and smiled. He was good looking in a tall, dark and handsome type of way, but admittedly she wasn't interested. Lucinda rolled her eyes at him.

"Yes and this is Travis," she eyed him annoyingly "Making yourself known I see."

"Oh well of course Aunty." He said pouring syrup on his pancakes. "And welcome back Tara…" he said quickly then turning his eyes to Buffy. "And who may I ask is this?" The interest in his voice wasn't lost to anyone, especially Tara who began to bristle.  
Lucinda just smirked watching Tara curiously and thinking this boy was really going to have a rude awakening. She hadn't informed any of her peers of the Slayer's arrival. Martha knew of course but the younger two hadn't a clue. They had only been informed that they were going to have a couple of guests for a while.

"Don't mind him," a young woman said playfully smacking the boy upside the head, he groaned sticking his tongue out at her. "Attractive" she said flatly then turned back to Buffy. "He doesn't get out much." The group laughed at the antagonistic interaction between the two. The dark haired girl offered a smile to Tara having noticed her eyes glued to the other blonde and their more than friend like interaction and wondered if this was the infamous Buffy. Her and Tara had only spoken a few times as Tara more or less kept to herself but she remembered Tara speaking of a girl with a glazed look in her eyes on more than one occasion. And unlike her brother Travis she had put two and two together a long time ago. "It's good to see you."

"This is Carmen." Lucinda filled in. "As you can tell the wiser of my sister's children Buffy nodded noticed the similar dark hair and eyes. "Giles I'm sure you remember these three." He nodded taking a sip of tea not missing how Travis was looking at Buffy.

"Yes I do but it's certainly been a while." Travis nodded towards Giles as Carmen continued to watch as Tara turned to glare at her brother. Yes she thought that has to be Buffy.

"The woman across from him is Joyce and beside her is her daughter Buffy." Lucinda continued relaxing into her chair. "The rest of my pupils are off and about with Summer almost near." She informed. "So I ask that you three make them feel welcomed." The three additions nodded easily exchanging greetings. Travis turned his attention back to Buffy and put on his most charming smile.

"Hey Buffy how about after breakfast I give you the grand tour? It's a big house." Buffy looked to Tara who seemed to pale. She grinned, if she didn't know any better she'd say Tara was jealous.

"No I think I've already gotten my tour." She shrugged her shoulders. "Thanks though." He faltered for a moment not used to being turned down. His sister just laughed at him not believing how dense her younger brother was.

"Well how about the grounds? I'm going to be here for a day or so before heading over to another Coven, I would gladly show you around while I'm here. It's not often that we get guests" he said trying again, Buffy shook her head no. "What? You haven't seen them yet have you?" he asked still pushing. "Because even if you have, I know some out of the way places that are absolutely stunning." Lucinda frowned at her nephew, he was terrible. She sighed to herself almost glad that he was just visiting for a day or so.

"No I haven't at least not yet…" She said looking to Tara thoughtfully. "But I plan to." Just not with you she added mentally. Travis smiled victoriously.

"Well then it's settled." Carmen groaned. "Score!" he whispered to himself grabbing another pancake. Martha glanced at her son disappointed in his lack of insight. Even she could sense the developing relationship between the two blondes. But then again Travis always was a flirt. Carmen shared the same thoughts.

"For Goddess sake Travis will you just give it a rest. She's not interested" He looked to his sister perplexed then mumbled a 'mind your own business' and turned back to Buffy, stopping short when he noticed her talking to Tara. Joyce grinned with Lucinda seeing the look of confusion crossing the young mans face.

"Tara." Buffy began ignoring the boy's invitation. Tara pulled hardened eyes from Travis, someone who was quickly becoming her least favorite person and smiled sadly at the lightly blushing slayer, secretly wanting to be the one to have show her around. But whether she wanted to admit it or not he had beaten her to it "Do you have any plans later?" Tara shook her head no and watched as Buffy's blush deepened. "Because well…I was thinking…" she chanced a glance at Travis who took that as an invitation and opened his mouth to talk. She ignored it "Um I don't suppose you'd want to show me around would you?" Tara stared at Buffy her stomach filling with butterflies. Not believing Buffy was turning him down. She had known Travis for over a year and had never seen him get openly rejected by anyone. "You don't have to if you don't want to." Buffy stammered, "I know you didn't get a lot of sleep last night and…."

"I'd love to." Tara blurted out afraid Buffy was about to take it back and was rewarded with an absolutely stunning smile.

"Really?" Buffy asked grinning ear to ear. Tara smiled back beginning to blush.

"Yes really." She looked down at her nearly empty plate than at Buffy. "W-Whenever you want to go is fine." Buffy looked down at her plate that was also bare then back to Tara. Tara noticed the hesitant look on Buffy's face. "W-We could go now if you'd like?"

Without taking her eyes from Tara Buffy quickly began gathering her plates and silver-wear. Tara smiled her heart doing a little flip in her chest as Buffy gathered her plate along with hers and headed into the kitchen to rinse them off. "I-I'll take that as a yes." Tara said to herself surprised at how fast the Slayer had made up her mind. When Buffy came back in she turned to the group quickly.

"Thank you Lucinda the food was excellent." She nodded her acknowledgement to the new comers than turned to her mother. "Mom Tara's going to show me around, we'll be back in a little while." She stopped as Travis choked on his milk then turned to Lucinda again. "You don't mind do you?" Lucinda just laughed at Buffy's eagerness and waved them off.

"Just be back in a few hours you two." Tara sent her thanks and the two made there way out of the dining hall. Travis wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and watched as the pair left gawking.

"And denied." His sister said giggling at her brother's wounded ego.

"Wait…" he started standing then stopped as Lucinda shot him a warning look. He ignored the look and shouted after her. "Buffy I thought you and me were going to…" Giles groaned having tried to ignore the boy's presumptuous nature but seeing as Buffy obviously wasn't interested he decided to step in.

"So Travis tell me about your training…I'm anxious to hear how you've progressed." He looked to Giles as if he were out of his mind.

"Um…" he moved to stand following Buffy with his eyes. Lucinda grinned.

"Travis don't be rude, Rupert hasn't seen you in over three years. The least you could do is chat with him for a while. Catch up?"

"I'm not being rude Aunty it's just…" he frowned as the front door slammed shut. "Sit down sweetie you've hardly touched your food." Martha added realizing what Lucinda was trying to do and joining in on it, her son even she could admit was a little too full of himself. Carmen just stared stunned not believing how they were all ganging up on him. Oh this is rich she thought, relishing her brother's discomfort. But it serves him right.

"I'm not hungry." He said getting aggravated as his sister began to laugh. He set his napkin down preparing to excuse himself when Lucinda's eyes flashed blue. Without warning he fell heavily into his seat. He looked at Lucinda with wide eyes. The rest of the group unaware remained unaware of what had just happened.

"Oh pish-posh." Lucinda said lightly her eyes glaring at her nephew as he squirmed in his seat unable to stand up, her small spell holding him in place. "You must be starving." He looked at his sister who was chuckling then to his mother who was talking to Joyce. Lucinda was much more powerful then he was so fighting back would only prove embarrassing. Not really knowing what else to do he forcefully picked up his fork and speared a sausage, angrily shoving it into his mouth. Lucinda winked at Joyce and Giles. "Now there's a good boy."

"Yes aunty." He growled between bites. Lucinda just smiled happily.

"And Travis since you seem so eager to help around here, how about after you finish eating you take care of the dishes." He glared at her not believing she was doing this. "And no magic this time, some good hands on labor is good for the soul." She pretended not to notice his icy gaze and reached for a plate. "Toast?" she asked him innocently.

I'm glad you all enjoy the story so far, and any and all coments are welcomed as ussual. Thanks for the feedback, it's good to know my hard work is being enjoyed by so many. And those who continue to review you guys ROCK!!!!!

(squidward) you know who you are. sighs pen in hand counting down the days...just hang tight. 9/12/21!!!!!!!


	16. just thinking

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: just thinking

Buffy smiled as her and Tara made their way towards the back of the house. She could just imagine Travis's face when she left with Tara, absolutely priceless. She looked around as they moved deeper into the grounds. The back was just as astounding as the front she observed not particularly surprised by this notion. But as they continued on into the property she watched as fluorescent patches of flower gardens dispersed into a more meadow like atmosphere and then eventually into woods.

Tara dutifully pointed out the stable where a few horses were kept along with a decently sized pond on the other side, the property really was beautiful. Buffy watched as Tara ticked off the different land marks as they passed them, continuing down a thin dirt path that had been worn in around the property.

Buffy sighed seeing how at peace Tara seemed out here, not understanding why she would ever want to leave. Well there was Travis, something that would sure give her incentive to leave…but he really didn't seem to pay Tara any mind, not that she was complaining…had roles been reversed she wasn't sure if the young man would have survived the meal. Slayer strength or not, she smirked thinking about how much she had changed in the little time she had known the woman beside her.

"What's that look for?" Tara said catching the glint in Buffy's eyes. Buffy just smiled shrugging her shoulders.

"Nothing important." She said simply. "Just wondering why you would ever want to leave this place?" Tara looked at her suspiciously not really believing that that's what she had been thinking. Buffy caught the look and blushed. For only knowing her a few days she was still surprised at how easily Tara was able to read her. "Which lead to the conclusion that having to live with Travis would have sent me packing too?" Buffy said hoping that that answer would be sufficient. Tara smiled letting Buffy off the hook. "So." Buffy started when Tara hadn't said anything else. "Is that why you left?" Tara shook her head no, her heart beginning to speed up a little.

"No. Honestly me and Travis never really talked…ever. I'd talk to Carmen once in a while but Travis more or less avoided me like the plague." Buffy frowned not understanding why anyone would want to avoid Tara. If they did then it was their loss.

"But why did he never want to talk to you?" Buffy shook her head confused. "I don't get it."

"Well unlike you Buffy not everyone takes loosing to a girl as easily. After the first few months that I was here Lucinda had us working on casting spells, testing our strength." She paused to glance at the Slayer who was watching her intently. "Travis is big headed as I'm sure you could tell…and well let's just say he made an ass out of himself when it was his turn to face me." Buffy grinned thinking back to only a few days ago when her and Tara had spared at the Magic Box. Her body tingled in remembrance of Tara pressed up against her. She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. Yeah judging by how Travis behaved during breakfast she could see that he would be the type to take it personally. Then again so did any other boy she fought, even Angel. It must be a "Y" chromosome thing she thought.

"Boys are idiots." She mumbled thinking about how even Xander used to get all strung out after a fight, saying that he could've handled it on his own. Yeah right she thought rolling her eyes. Tara raised her brow at that.

"Oh but Travis is so handsome!" Tara sing-songed. Buffy just stared at her stunned then made a puking motion with her finger. Tara nodded her agreement and they both laughed, "Yes well as revolting as he is you have to admit he's nice looking, if even only on the surface?" Tara said pryingly.

"Well whatever he is, it's definitely just on the surface." She sighed finally coming down from her laughter. "But to be honest, he's not my type." Tara looked at Buffy curiously trying to imagine what her type would be…and wondered if she could ever fit the bill. They walked for a few moments in silence, Buffy waiting patiently for Tara to ask.

"U-Umm what is your t-type?" Tara finally said her curiosity getting the better of her. Buffy paused unsure of how to answer the question she had purposely left open and slowed to a stop. For a moment she locked eyes with Tara then allowed her gaze to roam lazily down then up the Wiccan's body suggestively. Tara's breath caught in her throat and Buffy smirked.

"Definitely not him." She breathed out beginning to walk again. Tara stood stock still for a moment at a loss for what to say, then realized Buffy was walking again and quickly forced her legs to move to catch up. When she caught up Buffy took one look at her and chuckled. Tara's face was beat red.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" Tara asked weakly trying to get control of her body that was practically humming.

"Maybe...just a little" she said laughingly looking at the ground. Tara groaned bumping shoulders against Buffy's playfully.

"You are so bad." Buffy laughed at that, thinking if only Tara knew.

"You don't really think that do you?" Buffy asked jokingly. "Lil'ol me?" Tara ran a hand through her hair.

"You know that's not what I think about you Buffy." She said softly as they came to a ledge of rocks.

"Really?" Buffy asked teasingly sitting down on one. "Then what do you think of me?"

"Um…" Tara eased down next to her and considered the Slayer for what she was. "It's complicated."

"Is it?" Buffy said resting her head against her knees. Tara smiled remembering the conversation she had had with Lucinda.

"No not really…" Tara said growing quite. "Buffy I think you already know what I think." She said softly taking in the Slayers features enjoying the comfort and security she felt in her presence.

"But what if I'm wrong?" Buffy whispered looking down at her weapon worn hands then over to Tara's delicate ones. Tara grinned.

"What do you think?" Buffy rolled her eyes seeing how Tara had just turned the tables on her. Well it was now or never. She looked up into Tara's eyes and began loosing herself in the intensity.

"I…" she swallowed hard her mouth suddenly parched. "I think…I want to k-" she was cut off as Travis came into view and groaned. She was so close. "Argggghhhh….." she glanced at Tara who looked to be on the verge of pulling her hair out.

"There you are!" he said breathing heavily. "I've been looking everywhere for you." Buffy smacked her forehead, wishing he wasn't human so she could just be rid of him. He had the evilness down, and the awful timing to a T, if only he wasn't human. Poof, she thought. So simple.

"Hello Travis." She said blankly.

"You didn't have to run off you know?" he said stepping up next to her and brushing some hair out of her face. "I'm not going to bite." Buffy sighed the non human theory coming to mind again. Vampire she decided, he should be a Vampire. Woods equal branches, she thought, branches equal sticks which are close enough to a stakes. Not to mention sunlight…it all added up. She stared at him willing him to poof. Poof, poof, POOF!!!!! It wasn't working.

"Sorry." She said finally a little too harshly. "Tara was just showing me around." He didn't seem to notice the icy edge to her voice, either that or didn't care.

"I can see that." He didn't even glance at Tara. "Well seeing as I have nothing to do how about you and I do a little exploring of our own." He smiled at her charmingly, making her want to vomit. "I know some great hidden away places that would take your breath away." Tara stood abruptly getting the hidden meaning in his words and practically knocked him down where he stood. She felt the power amplifying within her swelling up to the surface. He didn't wait for a reply before urging Buffy onward with a hand to her lower back. Buffy stopped.

"Um Travis, Tara was kind of already showing me around so…" he paused for a second then looked to the shy woman.

"You don't mind do you Tara?" Without waiting for a response he began ushering Buffy forward.

"Actually I do." Tara said firmly barely recognizing her own voice and stepping forward. Travis stood shocked that Tara had said anything at all. He looked down at the petite blonde before him and grinned seeing an opening to score points.

"Yes you're right how rude of me." He smiled at Tara. "No young lady should be out in the woods alone. You are more than welcome to join us of course." Buffy glanced at Tara feeling the crackle of power in the air.

"Um actually Travis…" she eased away from his possessive position. "Me and Tara were just talking about heading into the training room." She stared at Tara who seemed to relax a little.

"Yes…" Tara started trying to follow where Buffy was headed. "She wanted to see if it was any different then hers at home." Travis turned to Buffy surprised.

"You train?" he said eyeing the shorter woman who couldn't be more than a hundred-twenty pounds if even. Buffy nodded. "Really?" he scoped her up and down. "How often?"

"Daily." Buffy said seriously beginning to hate him more and more. He grinned humouredly, thinking it would be a good show if nothing else. He put his hand against her back again noticing the flex of muscles.

"Mmm…" he whispered leaning over to breathe in her ear. "I can see that." Buffy paused suppressing the urge to break the hand touching her back. Buffy looked to Tara who was clenching her fists together.

"Hey!" Buffy said almost to eagerly. "How about a race?" Travis and Tara both looked at her surprised. "I bet I could womp you." Travis laughed.

"Buffy I was the top ranking runner on my high school track team, I hate to be rude but I don't think you stand a chance." Buffy forced herself to smile sweetly.

"What afraid you might loose?" He looked at her then shrugged thinking that maybe she just wanted to see him sweat.

"Okay I'm in." Buffy turned to Tara sensing her uneasiness and winked. Tara's eyes softened though she was still confused on what exactly Buffy was planning. The slayer side of her was weakened wasn't it?

"One rule though." Buffy added. Travis raised his brow watching as Buffy stretched. "Any path can be taken not just the worn one." He laughed.

"Oh you don't know what you've gotten yourself into girlie." He cracked his neck. "I know these woods like the back of my hand."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Buffy asked watching as Tara blushed when she leaned over to continue her stretch. Travis nodded, himself also admiring the view.

"You're right the stakes aren't high enough." He said thoughtfully pulling off his t-shirt and tucking it in the back of his pants. Buffy frowned as he removed his shirt, a long time ago she might have found him attractive but right he was becoming an annoyance.

"What are the stakes?" she asked almost not wanting to know. "Exactly?" she added. Tara scowled as Travis smirked.

"A date."

"A W-WHAT?" Tara hissed.

"And if I win?" Travis gawked, realizing Buffy really thought she could win.

"If you win?" he said it as if it wasn't even a possibility. "Whatever you want." Buffy looked from Tara then back to him.

"Deal."

"Um B-Buffy." Tara said a little surprised at how confident Buffy seemed. Buffy looked at her seriously, a gold hue filming over her eyes. Tara was struck by power she saw there.

"I won't loose." She whispered back sensing Tara's growing worry. She couldn't explain it but something had just clicked inside of her. "Not to him." She looked to Travis. "Ready?" He winked.

"Very," he purred. She clenched her eyes shut trying to focus on not killing him. "So what do you prefer first." He said teasingly. "The movies or dinner?" Buffy ignored his last comment and started sprinting off into the woods. He watched her for a moment, then glanced back at Tara. "Is she always this feisty?" Tara simply glared. He cocked his head confused. "Whatever. I'll see you at the house." And with that he sprinted off in another direction.

When he was out of sight Tara growled thinking about how he had spoken to her, she didn't trust him. Without warning a ball of energy flew from her fingers obliterating one of the boulders they had been sitting on. She frowned at the amount of power that had been released. "Goddess what have I gotten myself into?" She breathed in deeply trying to gain some semblance of control and prayed that Buffy knew what she was doing.

She gasped as she felt a pair of warm hands cover her eyes, then groaned leaning back into Buffy allowing the current of aggression ease form her system.

"Guess who?" Buffy whispered happy to see the tension leave the witch's body. Tara turned snapping back to reality.

"What are you doing?" Buffy smiled as Tara's eyes widened.

"Coming to you're rescue duh." Tara gaped at her admitting she was glad to have him gone but not at the price he had set.

"B-Buffy he's going to win…" she leaned against the Slayer feeling the hum between them intensify.

"You think so huh?" Buffy said running her hands through the Wicca's hair enjoying the closeness, but also feeling the Slayer in her yearning to move.

"Buffy…" Tara started then stopped as Buffy grabbed her hand.

"You have no faith do you?" Tara looked at her confused then almost screamed as Buffy pulled her up and onto her back.

"Buffy what are you doing?" she said tightening her grip around the slayer's neck, as Buffy began jogging towards the edge of the rocky incline. "Are you trying to kill us both?"

"Tara." She shifted her head around to look at the paling blonde Wiccan, her eyes glowing a fiery amber, "Do you trust me?" Tara looked away from the Slayer and down to the steep fall then back. Her mind screamed no, that this was crazy, but her heart was telling her differently.

She thought back to the night all those many years ago when Buffy had saved her, then to only a few nights earlier when Buffy had shoved her out of the way only to get stabbed herself. Yes she thought simply, as crazy as it seemed at this moment yes she did. She wrapped her legs around Buffy's midriff and tightened her hold.

"I trust you." She whispered clenching her eyes shut. Buffy relaxed having felt the Wicca's acceptance before the thoughts had been spoken and adjusted her hold on the girl's legs.

"Hold on." Taking a deep breath she began to sprint. The power mounted inside of her and she welcomed it. As they began to pick up speed Tara frowned realizing something, she opened her eyes and watched as their surroundings became hazed and her eyes gathered moisture against the strong current. This shouldn't be possible she thought shaking her head. But it was, and it was happening. She gulped as Buffy approached a deep incision in the ground that stretched a good twenty feet.

"Buffy how are you doing this?" she had to yell over the wind rushing past her ears.

"I'm not sure." She said honestly, Tara tightened her grip as they neared the gap.

"Oh goddess." She said gripping Buffy tighter. The slayer's muscles tensed in tangent beneath her as she scaled the jump and loosened up once again as she landed lightly. Tara looked back at the jump and paled. "How are you..." Tara started confused. "I thought the slayer side of you was split."

"So did I," Buffy said scaling another jump with ease. "But ever since last night I've been noticing little changes here and there." She shook her head. "I wasn't sure what it meant but it was like I could feel her, the power there right under the surface. And then suddenly it was there and I just had to take it." Tara frowned, thinking about what Buffy had said, without thinking she reached one of her arms down towards Buffy's stomach. "It's healed. I already checked." Buffy said feeling Tara's movement. Tara stopped short and retuned her arm around Buffy's neck.

"Buffy do you know what this means?" Tara said excitedly. Buffy grinned nodding her head.

"Yeah we're about to beat that slime ball." Tara just laughed nuzzling in against the Slayer a weight she hadn't known existed lifting off her shoulders.

"That's not exactly what I meant. But yes that is a plus"

"I know," Buffy said softly more seriously as they rounded the bend by the horse stables, "I know." She slowed to a stop as they approached the back of the house.

Sadly Tara released her hold around the Slayer's neck and eased herself down onto the ground, instantly missing the closeness. "I must weigh a ton." She said blushing as Buffy sprawled herself out on the ground a thin layer of liquid beginning to perspire across her body. The exhausted blonde shook her head no.

"No you don't." she assured patting the grass for Tara to sit down. "It's just the after math of the adrenaline rush." Tara smiled down at the woman lying on the grass before her. "Besides we have to make it look convincing right." Tara nodded then laughed when at that very moment she saw Travis sprinting up from the woods. Buffy sat up and they both giggled waving as he stopped dead in his tracks. "This will be interesting." Buffy commented.

"Yes it will be." She paused looking at the Slayer closely admitting that Buffy looked a lot healthier than when they had arrived. "Are you going to tell Lucinda?" she asked seeing as Buffy wasn't in any hurry to run and tell the others. Buffy stared at her for a moment then shook her head no.

"I will but not yet. I want to be sure this isn't some type of fluke first." Tara nodded her understanding, hoping that it wasn't. She looked back to Buffy and watched as a small smile forming on the slayer's lips.

"What?" Tara asked wondering what had obviously pleased the Slayer.

"Just thinking." Buffy said simply causing Tara to blush.

"About what?" she asked realizing where this conversation had gotten them last time. But unlike last time Buffy didn't hesitate with her answer.

"You."

9


	17. not time yet

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: not time yet

Tara stared a Buffy for a moment a little taken back by the blonde's words. She watched as the Slayer continued to smile at her and couldn't help the blush that began to creep its way across her cheeks. "S-so what did those thoughts entail?" Buffy just grinned.

"Well…" she looked at Tara seriously then reached over touching the taller blonde's hand. "Mostly they were on how lucky I am to have you as a part of my life and how much I've come to realize..." Tara held her breath waiting for Buffy to say it. Needing to hear what Buffy was about to confess

"W-What have you come to realize?" Tara asked. . Buffy smiled softly at the nervous woman in front of her, realizing that they had been skirting around this for the past couple of days and it was beginning to come to a head. Tara watched Buffy intently as the Slayer seemed to come to a decision with herself.

"I've realized…" she looked at their hands and how Tara wasn't pulling away but seemed to relax into the touch. "That I am…" she looked up into the blue soulful eyes that seemed to penetrate her soul. "Without a doubt falling for yo-" She groaned as Travis's shadow fell upon them ruining the moment once again.

"Well I'm impressed." Travis said panting slightly as he approached the two. Tara glared at him icily as she was pulled from her reverie. He ignored the angered expression being shot his way and grinned sheepishly at Buffy. "Um I don't suppose you'd be up for best two out of three?" Buffy frowned at him then stood releasing Tara's hand. She really hated him.

"Sorry but no." he frowned slightly then glanced at Tara suspiciously trying to figure out how she had beaten him as well. Then something occurred to him.

"How am I supposed to know that you two didn't cheat?" He smirked at his own cleverness. "For all I know Tara could have used magic to help you levitate here." He crossed his arms over his sweaty chest making the two girls groan. "I think I deserve a rematch." Tara stood too now, her aggression for the boy increasing.

"She didn't cheat Travis. You lost." Tara growled. He scoffed not willing to give up that easily.

"Says you." He sneered at Tara then turned to Buffy. "I think I deserve a rematch." Buffy glanced at him then at Tara who seemed to be fuming.

"And how do you figure that?" she said trying to hold her anger at bay. The last thing she wanted to do was cripple Lucinda's nephew…no that was a lie the last thing she wanted was Lucinda angry with her. She wanted the woman to like her, as far as Buffy could tell she seemed the closest to a surrogate mother to Tara as she was going to get. So far she liked to think she had the older woman's blessing and didn't want to go wasting it all away on this loser.

"Well it's obvious Tara did something to get here as fast as she did." He winked at Tara in a mocking way. "No offense of course." Tara frowned very much aware that she didn't have the slim muscular build of the Slayer but to have it thrown in her face put things all too much into perspective. Who was she kidding, she would never have a chance with someone like Buffy. Buffy clenched her fist as Tara looked down at the ground self consciously letting her hair cover her face. "How am I to know she didn't help you?" Buffy glanced at Tara and her heart bled for the woman who seemed to crumble in on herself. Did she not know how beautiful she was?

"You know what Travis?" she said moving past him. "She did help me." Buffy said easily stepping closer to Tara and ignoring Travis's widening grin. Buffy sighed pushing the blonde's hair back behind her ears silently asking the woman to look at her. She didn't care what Travis thought about the innocent sign of affection as far as she was concerned he could drop dead. Tara looked at Buffy hesitantly inhaling at the depth of emotion shining back at her then back at the ground. "Don't hide." She whispered. "You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of."

"Sorry…it's just he's right you know." She said looking at the ground.

"Then I win by default." He ventured trying to get the focus back on himself, oblivious to the interaction between the two.

"No." Buffy said adamantly ignoring the boy behind her. "He isn't."

"Now I think it's time to pay up." The slayer shook her head no realizing she wouldn't be able to tell Tara how she really felt until they were alone. She gently ran her palm across the woman's face relishing the warmth there for a second then grudgingly turned on him.

"I said she helped me, I didn't say she helped me to win." Buffy clarified making Travis look at her confused. She looked at Tara pointedly and softened her tone. "She simply pointed me in the right direction that's all." Tara caught the double meaning and smiled to herself her insecurity slowly fading away at the Slayer's words.

"I want a rematch." He said defiantly. Buffy glared at him for a second then rolled her eyes defeated. She was tired of arguing with him.

"Fine! If that's what it's gonna take to show you I won fair and square, fine." He stared at her a little in shock, than realized the very real possibility that she might have beaten him on her own without Tara's help. The thought makes him pause for a moment but he quickly recovers.

"On second thought," He said running his hand through his damned hair. "I'm a bit run out, how would you feel about a change of pace." She clenched her teeth not liking the sound of this but willing to play along if it meant he'd leave them alone.

"What exactly are you suggesting?" He rolled his shoulders then eyed the Slayer up and down grinning at his own genius. This was something that no matter how much she trained she couldn't possibly out match him in.

"Sparing…full body contact." He added then shrugged nonchalantly. "Assuming of course you're up to it." Buffy glanced to Tara a gleam beginning to light in her eyes at the possibilities. Tara caught the look and couldn't suppress the grin planting itself across her face. Travis had no idea what he was in for. When Buffy hadn't answered his request he thought maybe she was chickening out. "Of course you're welcomed to forfeit." He smiled touching Buffy's cheek. "I wouldn't hold it against you." Buffy sidestepped his advances and looked at Tara. She wouldn't kill him no matter how much she thought he may deserve it…but if he wanted to spar and get crushed (literally) who was she to deny him a little humility?

"Tara what do you think?" She smirked at the smiling Wiccan. "Do you think I could take him?" Tara rolled her eyes Buffy already knowing her answer.

"I don't know Buffy…he is bigger then you." Tara warned half heartedly causing Buffy to laugh.

"Alright I'm in." Travis shook his head a little surprised at the shorter girl's determination then sighed.

"Women." He mumbled wrapping his arm confidently around Buffy's shoulder. "Always wanting to do it the hard way." He grinned to himself imaging Buffy pinned beneath him on the floor. "Not that I'm complaining." Buffy sighed lifting his arm off her shoulder trying to stay civil, despite the instinctive urge to drop him right then and there.

"Alright but before we begin I'm gonna get a change of cloths." She motioned towards her day old jeans and tank top. "We'll just meet you in there in ten." Travis just nodded not discouraged in the least by Buffy's obvious shrug off and grinned as he watched the Slayer enter into the house.

"I can't believe the nerve he has." Buffy grumbled as they climbed the staircase. Tara couldn't help but smile at the frustrated Slayer. "I mean he lost why can't he just leave it be?"

"Oh don't act like your not looking forward to knocking him around a bit." Tara giggled at the mock anger crossing the Slayer's face.

"You think you know me so well don't you?" Tara shrugged trying to look indifferent. "You probably think that's the only reason I agreed to it don't you?"

"It's not?" Tara asked causing Buffy to turn.

"Well your right it does plays a big part in why I agreed. He definitely has it coming to him. But you're also forgetting a very important detail."

"I am?"

"Yes you are." Buffy said slyly. "You're forgetting that I still have my end of the bet to win…anything I want if I remember the terms correctly." She added leaving the statement open ended.

"Oh really?" Tara said as they turned off the ramp and onto the last floor. "And what was is that if you don't mind me asking." Buffy slowed watching Tara intently.

"Hmmm wouldn't you like to know?" Tara paused looking at the Slayer confused for a moment then shook her head at the teasing looks being passed her way.

"Is that you're way of hinting that you're not going to tell me?" Buffy shot her a flirtatious smile and leaned over whispering in her ear.

"No, I'd rather just show you…" she stepped back as Tara's breath caught in her throat. "After I wipe the floor with him of course."

"Um a...so you are not going to tell me?" Tara asked as her breathing became even.

"Nope." Buffy said pulling one of the giant doors open. She was being mean and she knew it but she couldn't help herself.

As they entered the room they were both momentarily hindered by the essence as it struck them full force. Buffy smiled as Tara looked around in aw as she quickly headed over to her unpacked suit case.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to it in here." Tara said aloud the short conversation in the hall forgotten in the room's brilliance.

"Yeah I know what you mean." Buffy agreed as she pulled out a pair of shorts and a blue tank top. "It's pretty intense…" she eyed Tara over her suitcase. "But in a good way." Tara looked over at the Slayer and realized she wasn't talking about the room anymore.

"B-Buffy?" Tara started looking at the girl questioningly. Buffy sighed knowing that they should probably get a move on before Travis came looking for them.

"I should probably get changed." Tara blinked a couple times caught off guard by Buffy's quick change of pace. Perhaps I read her wrong? Tara thought as she watched Buffy motion for her to turn around. Tara without comment turned to give the Slayer some privacy.

Tara's heart rate began to pick up as she realized that Buffy was changing less then a few feet away from her. 'Goddess get your mind out of the gutter Maclay' she whispered to herself. Buffy smirked as she heard the Wicca's heart speed up and the little whisper of self degrading. Well at least she knew now that Tara was definitely attracted to her in more than just a friend type of way, though she thought that had already been established at breakfast. She pulled her shorts and shirt on and looked at the blonde fondly, thanking whatever god or goddess had sent the Wiccan to her.

"Ready?" Buffy asked touching her shoulder lightly. Tara trembled at the gentle touch then nodded praying Buffy didn't notice the heat rising to her face.

"Y-Yes." She whispered following Buffy out of the room. As they reached the bottom of the staircase Tara took the lead and began leading Buffy through the hall and down another flight of stairs into the basement where Lucinda had created a training facility.

Lucinda paused as she spotted the two heading downstairs. Something was different, she thought looking at Buffy closely. She couldn't place what it was but something had definitely changed about the Slayer that had just passed her. She waited until the two were out of view before returning to the Study where Giles was sitting chatting with Joyce. She couldn't place what, but it was almost as if the slayer had a glow about her.

"So on a scale from one to ten, how badly do you think I'm gonna wipe the floor with him?" Buffy asked as they begin to descend the flight of stairs leading them to the training area. Tara turned giving her, her trademark a half smile glad that Buffy had been the one to break the silence.

"And here I thought you were just trying to be sportsman like and give him another chance?" Buffy laughed at that.

"Oh yes because he oh such a noble opponent...not." Tara smiled admittedly wanting to rip the boy a new one as well.

"Do you think it's fair that he doesn't know you're a slayer?" Tara asks wondering if Travis has any indication what he's getting into. "He is at a rather disadvantage." Buffy shrugged.

"That's his problem not mine, I just want this to be over so he'll leave it alone." She paused. "Besides I've been yearning for an excuse to kick him around a bit since this morning."

"So I've heard, and you're not the only one." Tara adds softly as they enter into the training area. Buffy quirks her eyebrow noticing that Travis wasn't in there yet then focused on what the woman had just said.

"And why is that?" Buffy questions teasingly. "I always took you for the pacifist type." Tara just laughs. "What's so funny?"

"Usually yes, but…let's just say Travis is a special case." Buffy grins beginning to circle the Wiccan predatorily.

"So how come Travis is such a special case all of a sudden huh?" Buffy asks grinning as the blonde followed her with her eyes and began turning as well to keep her in sight. "He hasn't really done anything to you to make you upset." She says reaching out and poking the woman's side playfully. Tara whips around catching the hand then laughs as Buffy frowns.

"Trying to ruin all my fun?" Buffy grumbles attempting to tickle Tara's other side.

"I hope this isn't how you plan on beating Travis." She said giggled then shrieked as Buffy tackled her onto the mats and began tickling her sides mercilessly.

"Nah…I kinda wanna smack him around a bit." Tara laughed and tried to squirm away from the slayer. Buffy grinned dropped her weight down and effectively pinning her in place.

"So what…do you call this then?" she asked unable to contain her laughter as she continued swatting at Buffy's hands.

"Interrogation." Buffy said as Tara finally caught the Slayer's hands in hers.

"Really?" she said still smiling. "And what for?"

"Why you're so eager to see Travis get smacked around if he hasn't done anything to upset you?" she whispers watching as Tara blushes deeply and tries to look away from the Slayer's piercing gaze.

"M-Maybe he h-has and you just haven't noticed." She whispered back swallowing hard. Buffy smiles knowingly and releases the Wicca's hands.

"And what should I have noticed him doing?" the slayer practically purrs out. Tara groans rubbing her face realizing what the slayer is doing purposely as her heart begins to pound in her chest again as a feeling of electricity passes through her body. 'And she's doing a fine job of it' Tara thinks to herself, locking eyes with Buffy.

"W-what do you really want to k-know Buffy?" Tara breaths out finally, a boldness she didn't realize she had surfacing as she touches the Slayer's face.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asks innocently leaning in to the almost feather like touch. "I was just asking a simple question." Tara smiles running her thumb across the Slayer's lips thoughtfully, whispering the same spell she had used at the Magic Box and flipped them over.

"Yes but simple questions more often then not lead to not so simple answers." Tara said softly watching as Buffy's eyes seemed to dilate and her breathing became more labored.

"Not necessarily…" Buffy mumbled closing her eyes trying to keep her emotions in check. "I think we just tend to make things harder then we have to." Tara nods letting her fingers trace Buffy's lips then stops as she hears the door above them open. Sighing to herself she lets her hand fall to the mat lifting herself off the Slayer.

"Common Slayer," Tara whispers offering her hand to the dazed woman lying breathlessly on the floor. Buffy groans as she hears footsteps on the stairs and realized just how close they or she had gotten to admitting her feelings for the older girl but nodded her head in understanding. This wasn't the time. Shaking her head to clear out the fuzziness she accepts Tara's hand allowing the Wiccan to help her up just as Travis entered the room.

(I know I know I am sooo evil. covers ears yeah yeah) Hopefully you've enjoyed the story so far and for those reading chapter 18 will be up in a couple days. Summers here and that means more updates YAY!!!! Tell me what you think...just a hint...lol. And as always thanks to all who have reviewed.


	18. a darkness within

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: a darkness within

Tara watched the play of muscles as Buffy began to face off against Travis and groaned thinking about how only minutes ago she had been pressed up against them. She shook her head and forced herself to pay attention to what was happening.

At the moment the Slayer was only swinging at the most obvious of openings and dodging the majority of his strikes by simple evasion. It was easy to see that she was holding back and the thought made the blonde Wiccan smile. The boy really didn't stand a chance. She almost felt sorry for him…well almost.

"Common Buffy is that all you got?" Travis asked beginning to become slightly winded as the blonde caught another one of his punches. "You're hardly even a challenge."

"Oh really?" Buffy said pushing him back and tightening her stance.

"Yeah really." He threw a couple jabs hoping to catch Buffy off guard with a round house. Buffy smirked at Tara already reading the move and caught his leg mid arch sending him spinning to the floor. Tara couldn't help but laugh as Travis pulled himself off the mats looking infuriated. "Lucky shot." He grumbled regaining some composure and rubbing at the side he had landed on.

"Whatever you say." She winked at Tara then turned back to Travis. "Oh I'm sorry did I hurt you?" she asked sarcastically. He scowled at her then wiped his arm across his face.

"You wish." He said deciding to pick up the pace a little bit. He had planned to take it easy on her but at this point he figured she could handle her own. And if she couldn't then…he grinned. "If this is all you got then I hope you don't mind long lines. The cinema is rather crowded on Saturdays." Buffy rolled her eyes. "And I'm done holding back so why don't you just give up now before you get hurt." Buffy shrugged at him, then looked to Tara who was trying not to snicker.

"If you honestly think that's supposed to scare me than you've got another thing coming." Travis smiled circling Buffy tauntingly.

"Big words for such a girl."

"Not just any girl." A voice said from the bottom of the stairwell. The three turned their heads in the direction of the voice and saw Lucinda standing at the foot of the stairwell followed by Giles, Joyce and Carmen. "Oh don't stop on behalf of us." She said motioning for them to continue and taking a seat next to Tara.

When she had seen Buffy pass by earlier she had noticed a change in the girl, a glow so to speak and had a sneaking suspicion as to what could be causing it. She hadn't voiced her opinion yet but when Travis had announced boastfully that Buffy had thought she could beat him in a round of sparring her curiosity had won out. Buffy looked to Tara questioningly and shrugged.

Giles's looked at his Slayer carefully and caught a glimpse of the fire he hadn't seen in years lighting her eyes. He glanced at Joyce who had her head tilted in much the same way as if she were trying to figure something out.

"Looks like we have an audience." Travis noted after the group had situated themselves. "Why don't you just give it up before you humiliate yourself." Buffy brushed some hair out of her face then looked at him squarely.

"I don't think I'm the one that should be worried about that Travis." Carmen laughed to herself at that. She had to admit the girl was pretty gutsy.

"Again with the big words…" Buffy grinned swiping his legs out from under him and stood in one fluid movement.

"Not just words." She said lightly. "Skill." Travis stood quickly as Buffy backed away cautiously, then tensed at the laughter he heard coming from the corner. "As I said before." She began getting in a dig at the now overly offensive antics of her opponent. "I'm not the one who should be worried about their ego here."

Without warning his leg flew out aimed at Buffy's head. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him becoming a little more serious as she rolled out of the way. It's not that she had felt threatened by the kick. Not by any means but had it landed, it very easily could have done some damage. Especially if she wasn't a slayer.

"Goddess Trav'!" His sister exclaimed after Buffy had maneuvered out of the way. "Take it easy." Lucinda looked to Carmen surprised that her young pupil couldn't sense it. The power radiating off the blonde was almost palpable. True Travis wasn't exactly playing nice but from what Tara had just explained to her it was probably because he was embarrassed if anything.

"Let them be Carmen." She said silencing her niece.

"But he could really hurt her." Lucinda shook her head at the girl.

"Just watch." Carmen looked at her Aunt skeptically then over at Tara who seemed rather amused by the whole situation. Seeing as how Tara and Lucinda didn't seem too concerned for the blonde's safety did little to calm her nerves. She knew Travis well enough to know that he could easily get out of hand. Especially when he thought he was going to loose.

"Come on Buffy!" Travis said cocking his head arrogantly as Buffy backed away from another hard kick to the midsection. "What? You can talk big but can't back it up?" He swung a couple hooks then thought better of it when Buffy caught one and gave him a hard crack to the ribs. He recovered quickly enough and began a different tactic. "What is that all you got?"

"Careful Travis, I think you've gotten into more than you've bargained for with this one." Lucinda warned as her nephew continued to taunt the slayer. He ignored his Aunts warning and continued to egg her on slowly purposefully backing her into a corner.

"Your not getting scared are you?" Even Giles had to chuckle at this by the look on Buffy's face she was anything but scared. "Because if you are you can still back out." He smirked realizing she was only about a meter from the wall without anywhere left to go. If she backed up she'd be blocked in.

"Not a chance." He simply shrugged at the expected refusal and made a lunge for her legs. His eyes shot open in surprise as Buffy rolled onto her back and jammed her heal into his midsection tossing him over her head and into the wall behind her. He groaned as he hit the wall and collapsed to the floor. Buffy looked at him with a little sympathy then flipped herself off the mat. The walls and floors were padded so she wasn't that worried about if he had broken anything besides his big head. "I think it's safe to say I won." But just as she said the words Travis was pulling himself off the ground. The group laughed in approval, all but Carmen who began to get a sinking feeling at the bottom of her gut. As he stood he turned a pair of angry eyes upon the Slayer who was in the process of performing a mock bow.

"No I don't think it is." He growled. Buffy paused taken back by the underlying threat in his voice and took a couple steps back away from him. Lucinda looked from her nephew then to Buffy not liking the looks of it.

"I'm calling this to an end." Lucinda declared standing up.

"No you are not." he touched the blood that was beginning to drip from his nose. "It's not over until I say it's over." Buffy looked to Tara silently asking her what to do. If Travis kept on like this she might be forced to actually hurt him. Giles's glanced at Travis who now after the twenty minutes bruised and scratched up in more than one place while Buffy seemed to remain untouched.

"Lucinda." The older man said getting the woman's attention. He lowered his voice so no one else would hear him. "You could restrain him if need be correct?" Lucinda nodded a little uncomfortable with the situation but already seeing the same thing Giles had just now noticed. "Let's let them go for a few minutes longer."

"Very well. You may continue," she stared at Travis seriously who didn't seem to be listening. "But Travis I'm warning you now, keep your temper or I'll remove you myself." He nodded slowly not really hearing what she was saying and locked his sight on Buffy, who was still looking at Tara unsure of how to handle the situation. Travis sneered at the sight and began to charge towards her.

"B-Buffy!" Tara screamed catching the movement out of the corner of her eye just as Travis leapt into the air in a flying side kick aimed at Buffy's back. Buffy seeing the fear in Tara's eyes reacted out of pure instinct. For the first time in the entire fight, allowing the Slayer in her to take over.

With a speed that no human eye could follow she whipped around. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. When she realized exactly what he was planning she couldn't suppress the growl that ripped from her throat.

The group stared in disbelief as Buffy quickly pushing past the leg that was now level with her chest like it was some type of annoying insect while reaching up one handedly to catch the seething youth around the neck, halting his movement in mid air.

Lucinda and Giles both shared a look while the other three were left to stare in wonder. Tara was now standing watching the boy cautiously…something about the look on his face making her skin crawl. She quickly enabled a defensive shield around her and Buffy.

Buffy ignored the mixed looks she was getting and focused on Travis who she still held off the ground. "I'm only going to say this once, so listen closely Travis." She said her voice a dead calm. "Its over." She was just about to release her hold when she felt him start to shake. She looked up and realized he was laughing. Tara tensed at the sound and felt the air crackle with power.

"You think you won?" he asked grinning madly before bringing his hands together a black mist forming around them. Buffy's eyes widened and he cackled. "You should have taken me up on my offer Buffy. But now I'm afraid you're too late-" Before anyone had time to react Travis flew out of Buffy's grasp and slammed into the stone wall lining the staircase.

All eyes turned to the black mist that was poised in front of the now stock still Slayer then to Travis who was crumpled in a heap on the floor.

Lucinda looked to Tara in a state of aw at the power the young woman had just exuded. She herself hadn't even had a chance to utter a word let alone a spell that would have been that strong at such a short notice. Her look of aw changed to that of outrage as she eyed the black orb floating in place in front of Buffy. She had never thought Travis was capable of dabbling in the dark magics and betraying her teachings in such away but then again she supposed after the events she had just witnessed she hadn't known her nephew at all.

"Carmen." The older woman said pulling the girl out of her state of shock. "Get your mother and tell her to get her son out of my house. I will not have the Black Arts in my home." Carmen nodded quickly then moved up the stairs not even giving a glance towards her brother. She had known that he had changed a lot. But the person she just saw wasn't her brother anymore.

"What just happened?" Joyce said having a hard time with what she had just watched unfold.

"Tara lower your shields." Lucinda ordered noticing the slight blue halo radiating around the two blondes.

"Not until that thing is gone." She stated firmly. Lucinda nodded her understanding.

"What's going on?" Joyce said again looking at the fallen boy then back to Lucinda. "Shouldn't we help him?"

"Leave him." Lucinda growled stepping up to her nephew's fallen form. "I should have done this years ago." She put her hand against his pale face and began chanting, slowly stripping him of any magical powers he had ever possessed and allowing them to purify through her before sending them back into the earth. "You my child," she whispered. "Never deserved such a gift." Giles stood stunned as he watched the blackened energy leaving the boy's body turn to a light green before seeping into the ground.

"Astounding." He muttered never realizing that Lucinda was capable of such a task.

"What is that?" Joyce asked pointing towards the green aura seeping out of Lucinda's hand and disappearing beneath the floor.

"Lucinda is stripping Travis of any and all his powers and placing them back into the Earth. In an ancient blood line such as this it's a form of exile." He explained quickly.

When she had finished she turned her attention back to Tara.

"Now will you please put them down. I need to be sure there isn't any other stray magic floating around down here." Tara reluctantly nodded seeing the spell finally dwindled away and disperse into nothing, its power source stripped. Lucinda looked at the group solemnly. "Giles I want you to take Joyce upstairs. I'll join you in a minute."

As Tara released the shield she had over her and Buffy the reality of what had almost happened sunk in. She leaned against the wall her body shaking, she had almost lost her again.

"Tara?" the sight of the Wiccan crying snapped the Slayer from her frozen state in the center of the room and propelled her to the woman's side. She wasn't sure what all had just happened but could sense that the Wiccan had just saved her life. "Tara look at me." She said running her hand across the woman's face. The blonde instantly looked up through teary eyes at hearing the Slayer's voice and leaned into to her touch allowing the comfort Buffy offered to wash over her. Buffy released the breath she hadn't known she had been holding and welcomed the woman into her arms.

Alright everyone tell me what you thought!!!! gets on knees PLEASE!!!!! Okay chapter 19 will be up in a few days so stay tuned.


	19. the problem with presumptions

CHAPTER NINETEEN: the problems with presumptions

"I am so very sorry Buffy." Martha said in a scratchy voice, worn down by tears after everything had been explained. "I had no idea that Travis was capable of such a thing…had I known I would have stripped him of his powers myself." she choked up thinking about it. "I never raised him to be that way." Buffy reluctantly released the Wicca's hand, something that she had been holding onto throughout almost the whole duration and moved towards the aching woman.

"I know you didn't." Buffy said softly resting her hand on the woman's shoulder. "And I don't blame you or Carmen." She sighed not really knowing how to comfort the hurting mother before her and looked out the window to where she had already helped load Travis into the car. The boy was alive but definitely not the same man she had met this morning.

He looked sickly, frail, as if he had been feeding off the magic as his main power source for years. But then again, he probably had. Soon though, Buffy thought, he'll be off to a Coven in Europe where he will hopefully get the proper support needed to face this addiction. Because that's what it was. Or at least that's how Lucinda had described it to them as.

"But I can't help but feel to blame!" she sobbed. "I should have known…seen the signs" she wiped at her eyes. "When he started to change I just…I just…I mean I'm his mother I should have seen the signs, should have known!"

"No one is blaming you Martha." Lucinda said slowly. "He did this to himself." She took a step toward her sister offering her another tissue. "Even if you had known there is nothing you could have done. Had you of confronted him with it who knows how he would have reacted." Martha nodded accepting the Kleanex and blowing her nose.

"You're right I know. But I can't help feeling to blame." She touched Buffy's hand then looked at the group sadly as she began to stand. "I should probably go. Carmen is waiting for me."

"You know you will always be welcomed here." Lucinda said hugging her sister.

"I know, and thank you." She released her sister and looked back to Buffy. "I truly have no way to make amends for my son. But if you ever need anything Buffy, anything at all…" she grabbed her duffle from off the floor. "Don't ever hesitate to ask, it's the least I could do."

"You don't owe me anything." Buffy said softly. Martha shook her head no.

"Yes Buffy, I do." She paused taking a breath. "Despite everything that has happened tonight…I look forward to having my son back. The boy I lost years ago." She took a deep breath. "And for that I will be forever in your debt." Buffy frowned thinking about what Martha had said realizing that it was not to long before that she herself began to fall away from the one's she cared about. "I wish you luck." She whispered making her way towards the front door. Buffy turned just as the door was closing and called out.

"Martha!" the older woman paused in the doorway and turned to the approaching slayer. Buffy hesitated for a moment then continued. "There is one thing I would like you to do for me?" Martha nodded for her to go on. "One day, once Travis has been able to heal his own fractured spirit, will you tell him…tell him that I forgive him." Martha smiled sadly at the slayer.

"Thank you Buffy, but don't lie for his behalf." Martha said. "You have, out of anyone here the most right to hate my son."

"You're right." Buffy said honestly. "I do. And I haven't forgiven him, at least not yet." Tara stepped up behind the Slayer and interlaced their fingers. She glanced at Tara thankful for the support. "But one day I will, and I think that he should know that." Martha looked at Buffy in wonderment then to Tara who was smiling softly at the Slayer.

"You are wise beyond your years Buffy, I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to know you better." she said looking at Buffy in a new light. Buffy offered a glimmer of a smile.

"I wouldn't say that…it's just recently someone very important to me showed me that it's easier to move forward when you can be forgiven for the past…and I think someday he may need that." Martha watched as Tara and Buffy shared a knowing look and couldn't stop the tears beginning to well in her eyes. The love they held for each other was so blatant and spoke volumes.

"Thank you Buffy." She whispered touching the Slayer's arm. "It's going to be a long road, but one day I will tell him." She stepped back and began making her way down the pathway towards the car. She stopped then turned a small smile crossing her face, realizing that the two were going to do just fine. "You two take care of each other." She called out before entering her car. The two nodded and watched as the car drove off into the night, each silently praying that everything worked out. As the tail lights of the car faded away into nothing Buffy gently closed the door and looked down at their clasped hands.

"Tara before we get interrupted again I-" Tara smirked touching Buffy's face lightly, already seeing the depth of caring shining back at her.. Buffy flushed at the soft caress. "I…" she swallowed hard. "Well I wanted you to know that I-" she groaned smacking a hand to her face as she heard someone clearing their throat loudly behind them. "What is it now?" she whispered harshly pulling her eyes from Tara to stare at the intruder.

"Terribly sorry to interrupt your moment Buffy…" Giles's said quickly apologizing, fully aware of the two's budding relationship. He was old but he wasn't blind, he touched his glasses. Well not yet at least. "But Lucinda has requested you're presence in the Study." Tara blushed knowing full well they had just been busted while Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Can't this wait?" the Slayer asked widening her eyes at him for emphases. "We were kind of busy."

"I'm afraid not." He said seriously. "We have much to discuss, with your powers returning…this is something that will have to take precedence over your..." he took his glasses off and began cleaning them against his shirt. "Personal line of interest." Buffy raised her brow at him. 'What is it written across my face or something?'

"Fine." She grumbled releasing Tara's hand reluctantly. "Can't have five minutes to myself can I?" she mumbled, quickly making her way into the Study. Giles chuckled to himself along with Tara at Buffy's musings.

"What's wrong Buffy?" Joyce asked knowingly, as her daughter flopped down into a recliner. Buffy turned irritated eyes to a grinning Lucinda, then held up her thumb and index fingers.

"This close!" Buffy said forcefully pinching her fingers together. "I was this freaking close too..." She instantly put her hand down as Giles and Tara entered the room. Joyce tapped her daughter on the shoulder and imitated the finger motion.

"This close to what Buffy?" The slayer looked at her mother dumb struck then over to Tara who was eyeing her and her mother curiously.

"All-righty then, how about we get down to business hmmm?" Buffy said uncomfortably, trying to take the spot light off herself for a moment. Lucinda looked at Buffy teasingly then back to the group.

"Yes I suppose you're right, first things first." She motioned to Buffy. "I think is obvious at this point that the Slayer side of Buffy has been rekindled or has at least begun to mend." She took a breath. "This of course is a good sign…but the question still remains as to how it happened and if it will remain permanent."

"Buffy, we need to know when you noticed your strength returning so we can pinpoint the cause." Giles explained. Buffy glanced hesitantly at Tara then back to Giles.

"Well over the past day or so I've noticed little things like sudden jolts of power and my appetite returning." Lucinda nodded remembering the blaze in the slayer's eyes the other night and how she had begun to crack the furniture. "Then this morning when I woke up I noticed that the wound on my stomach had healed." Buffy frowned. "I hadn't really paid it any attention until later in the day when-"

"You mean to say that it's been healed all day and you told no one?" Giles asked a little frustrated that Buffy hadn't told him this before.

"Sorry, I kind of got caught up and I wanted to see what it meant on my own before I got everyone's hopes up." Buffy explained lamely. Giles tried to remain calm as he voiced his frustrations.

"Buffy this isn't the time to be keeping these types of things from us, you should have brought it to our attention immediately."

"It's not like I wasn't going to tell you." Buffy said growing annoyed with her watcher. "I just wanted to see what it meant first." Giles frowned.

"I understand that Buffy but-" he was cut off as Lucinda began to speak.

"Now isn't the time to discuss what should or shouldn't have been done, we need to focus on the now." The two sighed and Buffy leaned back into the sofa her gaze falling upon the thoughtful Wiccan.

"Your right this is not the time to debate on what Buffy should or shouldn't have done." Lucinda smiled apologetically at Giles then turned to Buffy, suppressing a small grin at the infatuation she saw there.

"Would you mind if I took a look?" she asked wanting to know how much healing could have taken place in only one night's time.

"Um okay…?" Buffy said caught off guard by the request, but shrugged it off as she stood and slowly raised her shirt stopping before she reached her bra line.

"Buffy…where did you say the sword penetrated exactly." Lucinda said stepping forward to get a closer look.

"Right about here." She touched the flawless flesh that she remembered having been sliced through. Then turned facing Tara and touched a place on her back where the sword had pushed through to the other side. "And…here." Tara's breath hitched, though not because of what she wasn't seeing, Buffy had told her earlier that it had healed so she wasn't all that surprised…but it was because of what she was seeing that was causing her problems.

"Remarkable." Giles commented also getting a closer look as the skin looked undamaged. Buffy rolled her eyes feeling like a specimen that was up for examination.

"Uh-huh." Tara agreed nodding blankly. Buffy glanced at Tara, smirking to herself at the obvious interest in the blonde's dilated eyes. 'Never mind I take that back, examine away' she thought. Joyce caught the interaction and the smug look crossing her daughter's face. She proceeded to make a loud coughing sound to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, I think we can all clearly see the wound is healed now." Buffy and Tara both blushed as Joyce shook her head at the two. "But what does it mean?"

"Well the fact that it has healed so quickly definitely points in the direction that the Slayer is reconnecting herself with Buffy." Lucinda said. "I'm just at a loss as to how. The spell Giles performed should have prevented the Slayer from performing these tasks within Buffy." Tara finally spoke up, something that she had been thinking about finally piecing itself together in her mind.

"L-Lucinda you and I both would be able to pick up on any dark powers if they had seeded themselves within the Buffy…I mean the night that thing attacked her, I felt a large collaboration of power…but when I look into the Slayer's aura now, I see nothing but the split." Lucinda's eyes widened as she realized what Tara was getting at.

"I hadn't even thought of that…" she looked at the questioning gaze from the group then over to Tara. "I'm unable to sense anything other than the split as well."

"Then what was that thing that attacked Buffy?" Joyce asked looking at her daughter. "If it wasn't aiming to manifest itself in Buffy then what was its purpose?"

"To cause the split of begin with." Buffy said seriously. All eyes turned to her once the words had been spoken. "It all makes perfect sense now."

"Buffy you've lost me dear." Lucinda said sitting on the arm of the couch. "What makes perfect sense?"

"If the Slayer side of me was spit then I'd be an open target." She said slowly making sure everyone was following. "So if this thing, whatever it is, was able to gather enough energy to have a physical form for a short amount of time then it would have had to make sure I wouldn't have been able to survive it." She touched her stomach where the sword had embedded itself with in her. "Therefore it would have had to cause a break to make sure I would be incapable of healing." Joyce listened to what her daughter was saying, seeing how it would make sense. "And the night that I began to relapse…couldn't that have been the Slayer inside of me failing."

"Yes it could have been." Lucinda whispered seeing the likeliness of situation. "And I hate to say it but that does match up with the theory of the scales tipping." She muttered shaking her head. "But Giles, hadn't you said that the books I sent you read that if something was able to get through to the Slayer it could destroy her from the inside out?" He nodded his head.

"Yes they did." Lucinda pondered this for a moment.

"B-But what if the books weren't referring to an actual entity, what if it meant something else?" Tara said quickly. Giles's raised his brow, realizing that ancient texts were more often than not cryptic and could have easily held a double meaning. "D-Do you think it's possible that we miss simply judged the situation. Does that make any sense?"

"It does indeed." Giles said trying to wrap his head around it. "But what about the spell I performed…that should have hindered Buffy from regaining her Slayer half."

"Yes but if the Slayer was failing inside of her and possibly even fighting within Buffy to regain hold, the trauma would have ceased when the two were finally separated." Lucinda said answering his question.

"But if the spell had separated them, the question is how was the Slayer able to rebuild the connection. The spell in itself should have made it impossible nearly impossible…" He said at a loss. The group quieted no one having an answer to that specific question.

"M-Maybe the Slayer inside of Buffy was able to fight it off." Tara offered finding her voice. "I-I mean if the spell was placed upon the break itself couldn't it be overridden if the Slayer began to rebuild her tie? I-I mean once the Slayer had begun to heal on her own…wouldn't the spell have been canceled out?" she glanced at Buffy who was listening intently. Giles frowned thinking about what the woman was purposing. It made sense but that meant that they had been wrong from the beginning.

"It's possible yes, but some outside force would have had to start the rebuilding process before the Slayer could have taken over." He rubbed his face then looked at Lucinda. "What do you think?" Lucinda eyed Buffy carefully, seeing that the severed halves of a whole that she had seen the first night Buffy had come to her were indeed joining together. The words 'two halves' kept circling in her head as she looked more closely at Buffy.

"W-What if there were…say an outside force that gave Buffy the push to start healing?" Tara said urgently. "Something that maybe we weren't aware of."

"At this point it could perhaps but it seems rather farfetched."

"I think Tara might be on to something actually." Lucinda said un-focusing her eyes from Buffy and reaching for the book that they had read the night before. She skimmed through the pages and stopped when she found what she was looking for. "_A slayer and her host's ties began to unravel_" Lucinda read aloud. "_But unlike the other slayers this one was able to find her missing half and could retain the damaged to a whole_." She closed the book and set it on the desk behind her. "Maybe…the book isn't referring to the other half meaning the Slayer's host, but to something else all together?"

"I suppose it is possible." Giles agreed rubbing at his creasing brow. "But if that is what has happened then how are we to know, what triggered the healing to begin with and if the mending will continue?"

"We can't." Lucinda said simply. "So far all we have are possible variables to what could have happened." she handed the book to Tara who set it back on the shelf. "What we do know is, Buffy's strength is retuning, along with the fact that her soul is being rekindled to a whole. But we have yet to know how or why." She held up her finger preventing any further discussion. "We do not know for certain but can assume at this point that there is nothing evil manifesting within Buffy. If there had been I would have sensed it as would Tara." She sighed. "If you feel up to it we can roll these ideas around for another couple of hours or, and I don't feel I'm speaking solely for myself when I say this, but I myself am more than exhausted. I suggest we all sleep on it and begin again in the morning?" She glanced at the group who seemed to agree with tired eyes.

"I feel that may be for the best." Giles said standing. "It has been a trying day for all concerned…and I am more than ready to call it a night."

"I second that notion." Joyce said also standing. "At the moment I don't think my head could take anymore." Buffy nodded then suppressed a yawn realizing just how tired she really was.

"Goodnight ladies." Giles said leaving the room shortly followed by Joyce. Tara frowned slightly wanting to get a little more research done before calling it a night.

"Lucinda?" the woman turned to look at her as she was beginning to leave the study. "Would you mind if I stayed and read for a while longer?" she looked down at her hands. That is if you don't mind?"

"Of course." She smiled sadly knowing what it was like to want to do everything in one's power to help the one they cared about. "Just try to get some sleep tonight." She touched Tara's cheek fondly then exited the room quietly, leaving the two blondes to themselves.

I hope everyone is enjoying this little fic...and I warn you all now! everything is about to come to head and believe me it willl blow you all outa the water! hehe I know keepin ya all pining. But I promise chapter twenty will be up very soon so you won't have to wait too long. Alright thank you for reading and as always reviews are appreciated and welcomed.


	20. in the face of evil

CHAPTER TWENTY: in the face of evil

Buffy smiled lazily as Tara began scanning the bookshelf after Lucinda had left. She watched in fascination as the blond carefully pulled a few books from the shelf and balanced them in her arms while she moved over to the desk and dropped them off before returning to get more. Buffy slowly stood and moved over to where Tara had set the small pile and glanced through the titles then shook her head.

"Just out of curiosity, what exactly are you looking for?" Tara turned from what she was doing and shrugged.

"I'm not exactly sure…I just feel like the answer is right there in front of us and somehow we keep passing it up." She set another pile of books on the desk and eyed the Slayer curiously. "I understand that the others were tired, but I figured what can it hurt if I put in a little overtime?" Buffy smiled at the Wiccan.

"You really are amazing you know that?" Tara blushed and looked away. "No I'm serious." Buffy said stepping closer to the blond. "Here you are staying up to the wee hours of the night." She ran her hand slowly down the witches arm and laced their fingers together. "When I know your tired…just to help me." Tara shivered at the slow tingle working its way through her system.

"That doesn't make me amazing Buffy." She whispered staring Buffy in the eyes. "I just want to help you in any way I can."

"Yes it does." Buffy grinned tapping her on the nose. "And seeing as how we aren't about to be interrupted again anytime soon…" Tara cocked her head to the side smiling shyly making Buffy take a deep breath her concentration broken.

"What?" Tara asked slightly confused as the Slayer got an odd look on her face. Buffy shook her head and groaned. Even the half smile Tara had just gave her sent chills down her spine and made her body heat up.

"You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?" she asked unable to look at the woman before her. "I mean just looking at you…is like…" she took a shuddering breath and leaned her head against the Wicca's shoulder.

"Is like what?" Tara asked her body becoming flushed at the small amount of contact, and felt the slayer tremble against her.

"Wow." Buffy mumbled out unaccustomed to the feelings that seemed to overwhelm her. Tara sighed, trying desperately to keep her own arousal in check and allow Buffy the time to say what she needed to say. "T-Tara I have never felt something this…this powerful before…"she trailed off keeping her head in the crook of Tara's neck and tried to figure out how to express in words what she was feeling. Tara internally groaned as the woman's breath trailed across her collar bone. Ever since earlier on the path she could see it written across the woman's face plain as day, and as patient as she was trying to be, admittedly she was growing frustrated. Tara sighed running her free hand through Buffy's hair…she just wished the woman would get on with it. Buffy shivered as Tara slowly ran her fingers throughout her hair. "G-God!" Buffy groaned catching the hand that was making her body pulse and stepped back a little. "Even the slightest touch Tara...it…it…aghhh…" Tara smirked, finally loosing patience and turned so Buffy was leaning against the desk.

"Buffy I've been waiting four years to find you." Tara said slowly her voice dropping while she looked Buffy right in the eyes. She smiled to herself as Buffy's breathing became labored and her eyes dilated to an almost black. She reached up and ran a shaky hand through the slayer's hair watching in fascination as Buffy's eyes took on a glazed look. "And if one touch can do that, than what would happen if…" Tara leaned in pushing their bodies flush against one another and breathed into her ear. "I did this?" Buffy's eyes slammed shut at the unexpected contact and groaned releasing the woman's hand to wrap her arms around her back and hold her. Not just for the needed contact but to keep her from falling over.

"W-Well at this point I think I might spontaneously combust." Buffy mumbled out breathlessly. Tara nodded her head in agreement placing a light kiss on the Slayer's pulse point. Buffy shuddered again and forced her eyes open. What she saw froze her in her place.

"Enjoying yourself Buffy?" the woman asked grinning evilly. Tara stepped away from Buffy chills running down her spine at the iciness in the voice. The two froze at what they saw.

Lucinda stood at the center of the room, a dark mist swirling around her figure while her hair rose around her face billowing by an unknown force. She grinned wickedly at the two and flicked her wrist sending the desk and furniture around the room soaring in the air and crashing against the walls. Buffy paled looking on in horror as the woman cackled.

"What?" she asked rising up off the ground and hovering above them. "You look so surprised." She laughed sending a glowing ball towards Buffy who instinctively moved out of the way then stood moving defensively in front of Tara.

"What are you doing!?" Tara cried out as another ball of energy hit the wall behind them, setting a row of books on fire.

"Oh common Tara." She said smiling as she heard feet coming down the stairs. "Don't be so naive." She sent another ball of energy towards the two which was narrowly avoided as Buffy pulled them to the ground.

"What's going on!?" Giles demanded stopping short of breath at the door followed by Joyce. His eyes widened at the scene before him. Lucinda grinned.

"Why how nice of you to join us." She pointed to the older couple with her hand lifting them off the ground. "Do come in." Buffy watched helplessly as Giles and her mother were lifted off the ground and pulled into the room before getting slammed against the wall where they continued to dangle held by an unseen force.

"What is the meaning of this!" he screamed fighting uselessly against the power holding him up.

"Rupert, Rupert…" she clucked her tongue. "Surely you can figure it out." She pointed to Buffy sending another blast her way as she did so. Buffy growled sidestepping the attack and lunged at the floating woman. "Ohh no you don't." she laughed as Buffy was sent back to the floor as if ricocheting off an invisible force field.

"I don't understand!!!" Joyce screamed tears welling in her eyes at the sight of her daughter being thrown back to the floor. Lucinda shook her head sadly then laughed.

"No I don't suppose you do." She flashed a smile at Tara who was helping Buffy off the floor, a golden hue begging to emerge around her. "You're as gullible as the rest of them." She laughed as Buffy stood a slow rage working its way through her body. "Like lambs to the slaughter." She mused, her eyes resting on the Slayer.

"You betrayed us." Tara said stepping forward. Lucinda smirked.

"Yes I suppose I have…" she sent a spell at Tara who was pushed out of the way by Buffy. Buffy fell to the ground her skin scorched by the blast where it grazed her side.

"Buffy!" Tara screamed in horror form the floor.

"You won't touch her." Buffy growled steadying her voice against the pain while avoiding another spell sent her way.

"Save your threats little girl you are no match for me…" she looked at the group and smiled. "You all are so easy. And you." she winked at Giles. "You all fell into your parts perfectly."

"Our parts?" Buffy said confused keeping the woman in her sight as she began to circle. Lucinda nodded eagerly.

"Oh yes Buffy." She said happily. "This has taken years of preparation and is about to pay off." She smiled sweetly at Tara. "And it's all thanks to you my dear…or…"she laughed to herself. "Well I shouldn't give you all the credit. It was actually your mother who brought it to my attention." Tara gasped.

"My m-mother?" Tara said gagging on the smoke.

"Yes your mother." She said watching as the Wicca began to stumble over her feet as the smoke continued to cloud the room, the fire rising to lick at the ceiling. "It turns out one of her premonitions finally paid off." Her eyes darkened and power crackled in the air as she sent a black bolt towards the approaching Slayer. Tara reacted mentally pulling the Slayer out of the way and instinctively put a shield in place around her and Buffy.

"I'm okay." Buffy said answering the woman's questioning gaze.

"Tara…even you know that the shield is only going to hold for so long, and when it gives out..." She smiled. "You'll have nothing to save yourself with." she tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Now where was I?…Oh yes, your mother." She laughed as Tara sent a spell out to extinguish the fire that was growing behind them. She laughed at her pupil's effort, then shrugged it made no difference to her how they died. She would inevitably get what she wanted, though admittedly it wouldn't be as fun if they were unconscious. "Yes, shortly after you moved in your mother had a premonition that you and the Slayer if brought together would harness an extraordinary power…not to say that she was wrong but you still seem the same to me." Lucinda shrugged. "But it makes no difference with the two of your powers I'll be unstoppable." She giggled." But I'm getting ahead of myself here." She floated towards the book shelf and fingered a couple of the books fondly then sent it into flames. "At the time when she told me of her vision I just thought she was rambling nonsense, but as I began to read up on past Slayers I realized that maybe there was some truth to what she was saying." She laughed as Tara glowered. "A couple of days ago I even ran across a book that almost reiterated what your mother had said and from there everything began to fall into place." She ignited the entire shelf with a motion of her hand and smirked as Tara quickly sent out a spell to slow the blaze. "By the way Tara," she added laughing wildly. "You may want to watch your power the more of your strength that you use the quicker your shields will diminish, just a word of advice." Tara ignored the warning and extinguished the flames.

"That's why you sent me there, isn't it?" she said her voice cracking, Lucinda nodded pleased that Tara had figured it out.

"But of course, I saw your powers rising to their peek and decided it was time." She looked back to Giles and stared him in the eyes, reveling at the defiance she saw there. "Ah there's the Ripper I remember…too bad that you played a role in this as well." She levitated over to him. "You see Rupert over the years you have given me all the information I could have ever needed." She laughed as his eyes widened and floated back to the center of the room. "Did you know?" she said lightly "The easiest way to split a slayer is to find the host's greatest fear and play into it?" She laughed as Buffy stiffened. "And Buffy you are so easy to read. The guilt was just eating you up inside, you were already hating yourself so much, all it took was a little push…the slayer side of you felt no remorse for the lives lost. She is bred to kill and live in isolation, while you can't seem to understand and accept that I'll never know…but in the end it's the guilt that eventually broke the tie between you." She sneared, her lip curling up. "You were already on your way to loosing the bond between you and your slayer half, I simply just sped the process along." She growled. "Unfortunately I had to act quicker than I thought since our little sorceress over here was getting through to you at an extraordinary pace, mending the gap…not that I would have let the little set back foil my plans, but it was rather annoying."

"That was you in the cemetery?" Buffy said the revolution hitting home. "You've been behind this from the beginning?"

"Finally catching on are we?" She laughed sending a blast at the Slayer and frowned as it dissolved into the air. "Your shields are still intact?" She glanced at Tara. "I'm impressed… well not really."

"But the books?" Joyce said fear etching her voice as she began to suffocate from the smoke still floating around the room, despite Tara's best efforts. "They said…"

"Ah yes the books how could I forget, keep in mind my dear that I'm the one who sent Giles those books. I just said a few choice words and let him come to his own conclusions." She clapped a little. "And Giles you played right into my plan. Bravo, truly bravo."

"You bitch." He spat fighting against the invisible restraints again. Lucinda laughed then turned back to Tara as Joyce fell into unconsciousness.

"MOM!!" Buffy screamed moving towards her limp mother who was still held against the wall. She was instantly sent back to the floor by an invisible force.

"You see Tara," Lucinda said wickedly, ignoring the slayer. "It was all a matter of timing." What surprised me was how the Slayer began to heal so quickly…tonight when I realized her strength had returned I was a little surprised, I hadn't planned on that and Travis…" Tara put her hand to her mouth.

"Travis was a part of this too?" Lucinda smiled sweetly.

"Well of course Tara. You said it yourself. If there was black magic in the house I would have sensed it. Normally you would have picked up on it as well but there are ways to hide it if you aren't openly using it." She laughed as Tara gaped at her. "You see when I made my little astral jump to Sunnydale I needed someone to anchor my body here…" she laughed at the gawking looks she was receiving "like I said I've been planning this for quite sometime now." She rolled her eyes. "He was an idiot though, unleashing his powers like that…it was unfortunate but I had to strip him of his powers. It would have raised too many questions if I hadn't." she sighed "I had really thought he had more sense than that…but children…well you know how they are." She cackled manically.

"What is it you want then?" Buffy growled edging away from the hysterical woman. "You've won now what do you want from us?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked a shock wave through the floor sending the two onto their knees and books falling upon the floor. "With the two of your powers I would be unstoppable, and the earth would once again be shrouded in eternal darkness."

"What?!" Buffy screamed standing.

"The council and religious bollocks have weakened us to the point where the Black Arts are nearly a figment of the imagination, a scary story told to children meant to fuel there fears!" she spat angrily causing the windows throughout the room to shatter. "But through me the powers will rise again! All light will diminish in my wake!" She smiled sadly at Tara. "I'm sorry child but it seems your time has come to an end." she laughed as she felt Tara's shields finally falter. She sent a bolt towards Buffy who screamed in pain. Then whispered another spell pinning the two to the floor and began chanting. The walls around the room all ignited as one as her words began to run together in a sickening rhythm.

"You mustn't!" Giles screamed seeing what she was planning. "STOP!!!" She was going to rip them of their very essence he realized. It was a spell that had been banned by the council centuries ago. The very mention of the spell was forbidden. It allowed for the caster to absorb the very soul of another, and in this case two others.

Tara watched on helplessly not believing that this was how it was going to end, never having imagined it happening this way. She tried to move against the force keeping her still, knowing full well that it was a futile move. Tears of frustration began to stream down her face and she couldn't help but think back to what her mother had whispered to her all those years ago. _Find the lighted path that shines in align with the calling of your own daughter. Find your soul, find your way, find the light_. The voice in back of her mind spoke the words loud and clear, overpowering the roar of chaos surrounding them.

Tara looked to Buffy and stopped short as she saw the fiery gaze staring back at her. The Slayer's skin was glowing, a golden hue that had nothing to do with the fire blazing behind them. She looked back to Lucinda who was spinning wildly above them ashes rising off the ground around her, while burning pages and shattered glass swirled up in her wake, like burning bats from hell. She looked like the spawn of Satan himself rising again, Tara thought in disgust. Tara looked down at her own arms and realized they were glowing in much the same way as Buffy's. Her eyes widened in realization.

The connection she felt with Buffy, the weird vibe she had whenever they touched, the comfort she felt in her presence, the protective nature they felt for each other. It all made sense now, the power she had been feeling between them had always been their, waiting for them, lying just below the surface. Buffy was her other half, her equal. It all was coming together.

She couldn't believe it had taken her this long to figure it out. She looked at Buffy and caught the blond staring at her in wonderment. _"I need you to open yourself up to me Buffy?"_ Tara mentally sent the message already knowing Buffy wouldn't be able to hear her over the piercing laughter and raging fire behind them.

Buffy's eyes grew wide as she could hear the Wiccan in her mind though her lips hadn't moved. She shook her head not understanding but knowing they didn't have time to discuss it and did as she was told, quickly lowering her walls.

Tara gasped, the power radiating off the Slayer when she opened her senses to it was unbelievable, slowly she allowed her own essence to mix in with the Slayers. She smiled as she felt the last threads of the split within the slayer heal and become one. Buffy's own eyes shot open when she felt their aura's mix and her Slayer side come together. The power between them seemed to intensify as if feeding upon the other.

Giles felt a strange power growing within the room and squinted through the blackness to what looked like a golden light. He watched in aw as the golden light grew into an almost blinding white and had to look away.

Tara and Buffy both stood no longer held down by the darkness, the power between them quickly intensifying to an all time high. Lucinda stopped in confusion as the two stood and locked hands.

"What is this?!" she shrieked fighting against the light that was scorching her eyes. As the brightness became too much she, in desperation began throwing spell after spell blindly towards them. Tara easily deflected each beam sent their way with her palm upraised, directing them away from her and Buffy into the ground. The power radiating between them like nothing she had ever felt before. "This is impossible!" Lucinda shrieked as she was pulled from the air and onto the ground.

"No." They said in a unified voice that seemed to echo throughout the house. "This is redemption." They moved as one with steady strides despite the magic Lucinda continued to send their way. Her spells as they got closer, diminished the moment it touched the expanding light radiating from them.

"I will not be beaten." She screamed bringing her hands together, blue veins popping out around her features while her eyes turned to solid black. The power she possessed finally coming to the fore front. "I have come too far!" she said fighting against the light that was creeping in around her and began to shake as it slowly surrounded her. "Nooo!" she released a large collaboration of power, pushing the light back away from her. But as fast as she had pushed it away it came back swooping in around her. "This can't be!!!" Only a small fracture of darkness remained around her figure and it was slowly decreasing against the white light emanating from around the two blondes.

Then in one final swoop, when Lucinda was no longer able to fight it off, the light flooded the entire room, quickly swallowing the deranged woman in its wake, bathing her in light. As she disappeared beneath the blinding glow the room flashed a bright white.

As the power between the two died down to an ever present hum and the unearthly light faded to a bearable glow, Buffy slowly released the hand that she had been holding and turned to where a loud thump could be heard coming from the back of the room.

"MOM! GILES!" Buffy shouted heading over to the two.

Buffy ran to her Mom and Giles who had fallen upon the floor and were lying in a heap covered in black ashes. The watcher stared at his Slayer as she moved towards them with a speed he couldn't fathom. He watched stunned, unable to find words to describe what he was seeing.

"Are you okay?" she asked helping them up. Her mom nodded coughing then looked around the room.

"What happened?" Joyce said looking around the room. "What happened to Lucinda…did she…?" The question was left open ended but as all eyes turned to the black char marks upon the floor where she had been standing the answer was obvious. "I still don't understand," she whispered recalling what had happened. "Why would she have done this?" Giles glanced at Buffy then to Tara, noticing the slight glow still remaining around the two. He looked around the room which was a wreck and watched as the remaining fire seemed to die down on its own in the two women's presence.

"At this point there is no question in my mind what she was after." Giles murmured still in a state of shock, never having seen such power in his life.

Buffy looked to Tara who was eerily silent. Now that their souls were connected she could feel the confusion and hurt come crashing upon the woman. She had thought of the woman who was now gone as a mother and with what had just happened she was barley holding herself together.

"We can talk later." Buffy said already at Tara's side grasping her hands with her own. "Everyone pack your bags, we are leaving this place as soon as you have finished." She looked at Tara who was trying to hold it together. Then to her Mom and Giles, "We are not staying here a moment longer than need be. Do I make myself clear?" She said, her voice holding a tone of command. The small group nodded and quickly made their way to their own rooms. When the two adults had left Tara collapsed against the Slayer too overwhelmed to discuss what had just happened.

Okay now ya know ya gotta send me something...gotsta here what ya think! the final chap is comin soon


	21. Epilogue

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Epilogue

Buffy smiled to herself as they slowly approached her house, more than glad to be home. The car ride had been considerably quite despite what had happened only a few hours ago. She sighed as Giles turned off the car, her mom having been to shaky handed to drive. Not that she blamed her, they had all been through a lot. She herself was still coming to terms with what this all meant, for her and for Tara, she grinned. So far though, she was liking the possibilities.

"Tara…Tara we're here." She whispered to the sleeping woman that was lying comfortably in her lap. Tara's eyes blinked open and adjusted to the bright pastel colors of dawn that greeted her. She smiled tiredly at the Slayer and sat up, more than happy to be far away from that place. Buffy returned the smile and ran her fingers through the woman's hair looking at her thoughtfully. "Are you okay." She asked softly as her Mom and Giles exited the car, leaving their bags in the trunk to retrieve at a later time. She couldn't help the smirk that formed across her face when she heard Giles mumble something about needing a drink and her mom seconding the notion.

"Yeah." Tara said honestly, the closeness she now shared with the Slayer calming her nerves greatly. "It's going to take a while for me to wrap my head around it all but I'll be okay." Buffy lowered her hand to cup Tara's face.

"Not just you." Buffy said seriously letting the depth she cared for the woman shine through. "We." Tara gently touched her own hand to Buffy's and held it against her cheek the warmth radiating into her, indescribable from the simple touch. "We're going to be okay." Buffy said her eyes dropping to the woman's lips. Tara turned the hand she held clasped in her own and brought it to her lips, kissing it softly.

"We." Tara said back as if making a promise. She watched as the Slayer nodded with eyes half lidded, and got a mischievous look in her eye. "Common Slayer of mine." She said tugging Buffy's hand leading them out of the car. "If you don't mind, at this moment all I want to do is curl up next to you and sleep." Buffy nodded exhausted herself and allowed Tara to lead her out of the car, and up to her house. Tara smiled to herself sensing the bond humming between them just under the surface and reveled in the fact that it was theirs and theirs alone. Their hearts, bodies and minds were interlocked as one, and any doubts or hesitations that had plagued either previously were now washed away.

Buffy was dead on when she had said that she had never felt anything this powerful before, Tara thought to herself. Because there was truly nothing more powerful than what they had, on earth or anywhere else for that matter, what they now shared was incomparable to anything else. They completed and complimented each other in every way, and there was not a force in existence that could hope to sever that tie.

Buffy linked Tara's hand with hers as they made their way towards her house and smiled in surprise as Faith greeted them at the door.

"Hey B," she nodded her acknowledgement towards Tara then glanced down at their clasped hands and raised her brow. "Well tweed man here ain't said a peep, not one word." She laughed a little. "And Mrs. S did bout the same, they just went straight for the liquor drawer, so you mind tell'n me what's go'n on." She smirked as Buffy gave her a slightly annoyed look then stepped aside, allowing the Slayer and Tara to actually get into the house and take off their shoes. As Buffy stepped inside she released Tara's hand to hug her sister Slayer. "Aww B, don't be get'n all soft on me now." Faith grumbled playfully glad to see her partner in crime was unharmed. "Yeah, yeah I missed you too." Buffy sighed, finally releasing Faith and put her hand on the brunette's shoulder.

"Would you believe me if I said it is an incredibly long story?" Faith cracked a smile at Buffy's silent plea for another time and looked over at Tara who was removing her jacket and putting it up on the hanger.

"I see…" she nodded in Tara's direction then dropped her voice. "Never knew you played for home team B, gotta say though, wish ya would have given me the heads up last year."

"What?" Buffy said a little perplexed.

"So I could've gotten first dibs." Buffy stared at the brunette a little lost for words then smacked her sister Slayer in the arm, seeing the playfulness behind her brown eyes.

"Um …I'm not going to give you the benefit of commenting on that one F'" Tara smiled to herself having heard the whole exchange and stepped up next to Buffy whispering in her ear.

"I hope your friend doesn't mind, but I'm not really the sharing type." Faith's eyebrows arched together in surprise as she felt the strange surge of warmth surrounding the two women. It was intense like nothing she had ever felt in her life. Yeah her and Buffy had some weird Slayer bond but that didn't even come close to what these two had going on between them. She shrugged, figuring Buffy would tell her later. When she pulled herself from her own thoughts and took in her environment, she couldn't help but laugh at her older predecessor.

"Damn, wish I had a camera for this one." She muttered blinking in surprise at the almost delirious look taking a permanent residence over the Slayer's face at the other blonde's words. Buffy shook her now mush for brains and glanced at Faith.

"Sorry Faith, what were you saying?" The brunette Slayer rolled her eyes then began making her way towards the kitchen, deciding she would get a drink with the others and hopefully get filled in on what had happened. Seeing as Buffy was obviously…busy.

"Don't worry about it B." she called over her shoulder. "But I want details later girlfriend...and I'm warn'n you now." She glanced over her shoulder. "This long story shit ain't gonna fly with me blondie." Buffy watched the retreating back of the Bostonian in confusion then turned her attention to an innocent looking Wicca. She groaned realizing why Faith had probably left.

"You are so bad you know that." Buffy said watching a slow but absolutely gorgeous smile cross the woman's face.

"Now I know you don't really think that." Tara said laughingly.

"Oh really, is that so?" Tara smiled leaning in touching Buffy's forehead with her own.

"Yeah it is." Tara breathed knowing the Slayer knew full well that they could easily see as to what the other was feeling. Buffy smiled back at her very much aware of the odd connection they shared

"You're right I don't really think that, but that doesn't mean you can play all innocent and cute when you know full well what that was going to do to me." Tara smirked.

"What this?" she breathed a hot breath of air into the shell of the Slayer's ear and smiled triumphantly as Buffy shivered against her.

"Yeah that." Buffy said playfully poking the woman's side before stepping back, trying to keep her now raging hormones in check. "So…" Buffy said glancing around the house. "Since you never quite got the grand tour, would you like it now or later?" Tara smiled softly at the Slayer then laced their fingers together again.

"Actually your mom kind of showed me around while you were out, but I would love for you to show me around later." she sighed locking eyes with the Slayer. "All I want to do now is sleep for a couple days and have you lying next to me." Buffy blushed at the soft words then nodded her head in agreement, hoping for much the same thing and slowly began leading them up the stairs. As they entered into her room Buffy found herself pinned against her door by a smiling Wicca.

"I thought you wanted to sleep." Buffy murmured seeing the darkening gaze in the eyes staring into her own. Tara smirked then leaned in, pressing her lips firmly against the Slayer's. Buffy moaned, wrapping her arms around the woman's waist. Enjoying the feel of the little jolts she was receiving form the contact as they spread throughout her entire body. She gasped as the woman nipped at her lips lightly, seeking entrance. Buffy taking the hint eagerly complied and nearly fainted right then and there. After a few moments Tara pulled back needing air.

"B-Buffy." She breathed heavily pulling the Slayer towards the bed. "I took a five hour nap in the car." Buffy smirked at what the woman was implying. "So unless you're too tired or want to stop, speak now." Buffy shook her head no quickly.

"I'm obviously not going to be tired after a kiss like that." She grinned finally coming out of her Tara induced daze and pressed the Wiccan onto the bed. "And as for your other question, I'm going to have to go with a firm no." Tara smiled at the woman situated above her, never having realized it was possible to love one person so much. She smiled then whispering the spell that they were beginning to become all too familiar with, reversing their positions. Buffy gaped at a laughing Tara, as she was now the one being pushed down against the mattress. Tara winked.

"Good answer, because I've waited four years for this and when I'm done with you I can guarantee that we'll be out for a couple days at least." Buffy smirked then rolled her eyes.

"Really, is that so?" Tara nodded her head leaning down to place a feather light kiss on the Slayer's pulse point, causing Buffy to jerk in response.

"Yeah, really." She said her voice growing husky.

"Try me." Buffy said lightly. "I'm a Slayer and I gotta say, we're kind of known for recovering quicker than most." Tara just grinned.

"Well, that's an invitation if I've ever heard one." Buffy blushed a dark red, than finally forced herself to look into Tara's eyes, growing serious.

"I love you." Buffy whispered loosing herself in the woman before her.

"And I am so in love with you." Tara whispered back, the Slayer's words touching her heart. She had known the truth in what the Slayer had said for a while now, but actually hearing Buffy say them aloud made it all that more real.

Somehow after all they had been through to get together they were finally there. Both healed and ready to live life, whatever it may bring. Knowing that as long as they had each other, that was all that they would need.

_**T**__**he **__**E**__**nd**_

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For all who have reviewed and continue to, you guys and gals are my inspiration and thank you so very much for your support. I hope you have all enjoyed reading this lil fic as much as I have writting it.


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